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Topics - shemps#1

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Youtube and Google Videos / Full Albums On Youtube
« on: April 24, 2013, 07:39:20 AM »
I have been listening to a bunch of full albums on YouTube recently while working on my novel (which is my excuse for the lack of new MTS, vomit), and to show that I am not a complete curmudgeon when it comes to music I thought I would start a thread where folks can post some of their favorite albums to share. I'll start with my favorite album of all time, John Lennon's Plastic Ono Band.

General Discussion / The Official "Happy Birthday Brent" Thread
« on: April 12, 2013, 08:28:16 AM »
I don't usually point out people's birthday's on this site, but today is BeAStooge's (Brent's) birthday and without him this website would be nowhere near as awesome as it is. So I figured what better way to show appreciation for all that he has done over the years than to start an embarrassing "happy birthday" thread for him.

Happy birthday Brent, I hope you get to have some fun today and thank you for all of the wonderful work you have done here.

General Discussion / From The "WTF" Desk....
« on: November 03, 2012, 09:45:36 AM »
I paid my monthly Verizon bill online and they offered me a free month of a program they call Paper-Free Billing or something like that. It seems that for a monthly fee I can have them stop sending me the paper bill in the mail. That's just as stupid and greedy a concept as charging someone to keep their phone number out of the White Pages.

General Discussion / Star Trek Google Doodle
« on: September 08, 2012, 12:18:03 AM »
In honor of the 46th anniversary of Star Trek Google has a very cool interactive Doodle for today. Since I know there are other geeks here I'm sure there are other Star Trek fans, right?

Islipp Classics / Hi, Eric
« on: July 22, 2012, 05:57:40 PM »
So an off-hand remark about someone being you (which I did not believe, but trying to think of someone I might have banned is always going to bring you to mind as you were our greatest troll) brought you out of your cave? For fucks sake get over it and grow up already. I will not engage you in years old petty bullshit on the forum. I will only say that I hope all is well for you and I thank you for your condolences when my mother passed in case you missed it when I thanked you on here at the time. You know my email if you feel need to reach me, it's the same as it's always been.

BunsonTheBurner BunsonTheBurner is online now
New Member
Member since:Jul 2012
Beware of The moderator wasn't scolding the poster or threatening him with banishment, it's true. The moderator was talking down to the poster and has a history of talking down to posters and coming off like he thinks he's really cool and smart just because he's a moderator, maybe even actually a co-admin there now. He won't admit to himself that as a regular poster, he's on the same level as everyone else there. Do you know he actually told a poster to get through his head that the original six Stooges are not in this 2012 movie? No duh, mod-boy!! The poster didn't even say that! He also called the poster a puritan for criticizing toilet humor and religious humor just in this movie! Those things and the Stooges really don't mix, like the poster pretty much said.

Also beware of the site if you don't like swearing. Posters there are allowed to swear like sailors as long as they don't swear at each other (thankfully they don't always). They defend a person's right to swear there like anywhere else.

Also beware if you have a legitimate gripe with the mod/admins (especially that one) because that one won't hear it, being so much cooler and smarter than you, and you will always be wrong. You will run the high risk of getting banned too (especially with that one).

As for the movie, I agree with what that Shemp-Deisel poster said over there, except about the 2000 movie, which I thought was alright despite it's flaws. A real down point of this recent film is the Jersey Shore crap. Those idiots like to intrude in every TV show and movie they can. I can take the religious humor (I like the original Blues Brothers movie) and minimal or not, toilet humor doesn't mix with the Stooges, so I wouldn't like it in this movie (the lobster in the pants joke ranks with it)- and I like toilet humor and fart jokes as much as the next person.

General Discussion / Avengers vs Dark Knight Rises
« on: July 22, 2012, 07:43:03 AM »
I know it's two comic book movies having nothing to do with the Three Stooges, but I they are the biggest movies this year. Avengers broke the record for biggest opening weekend and some people think the final part of the Dark Knight trilogy will top it. What do you think? Also, if you have seen these movies post which one you prefer. I am planning on seeing Dark Knight Returns in a little bit and will give my verdict after.

General Discussion / Jim Pisses Off Moe
« on: June 25, 2012, 04:31:23 PM »
I received quite the treat in my mailbox today from Gary in the form of a handwritten, two page letter in response to my movie review. I cannot keep this to myself: I must share this vast fortune of funny with others (typed verbatim)........

To Jim Kane,

As an impersonator of Moe Howard your comments and opinions in Issue 142 of the Journal have caught my attention. I am not too familiar with your past contributions to the Journal but I will respond to your review of the Stooges movie and your comparisons to Stooge Impersonators. First, I would have to disagree that Stooge impersonators suck all of the funny out of everything. My Stooge impersonation act was well received by the attending Stooge fans, and guess what, everyone knew we weren't the real Stooges, your comment in the Journal warning us by a newsflash that the stars in the new movie are not the real Stooges is Earth shattering, wow, really! they have only been dead for about 40 years now.

As Stooge Impersonation goes, we were swamped with fans wanting a picture of us and we were even asked for our autographs at the Stooge meetings, and I assume people were smart enough to know that we were not the real Stooges. this hardly seems that, as you state, suck all life out of funny.

We all know that the real life Stooges will never be matched, I as a Moe Impersonator didn't let that fact stop me from recreating the look of the Stooges, which fans seemed to enjoy, us Impersonators even took our Stooge act on the road, we were asked  to appear at other film conventions by promoters that spotted us. We appeared in many magazines.

Its easy to sit back back and judge actors or Impersonators of Stooges, but it takes much more courage and creative talent to want to bring them to life.

(Name Withheld By Recipient)

PS. In going forward it seems that in order to keep the Stooges memory going, all will get are actors and Impersonators that are not the real deal and thats not such a "News Flash".

Apparently all of the films of the originals have been lost: that's news to me. Jim Kane: bane of Stooge impersonators everywhere!

General Discussion / WWYD?: Someone Else's 3DS
« on: May 30, 2012, 06:55:17 AM »
You are looking for some quick cash so you go to your local pawn shop with a Nintendo 3DS and a bunch of games in a plastic grocery bag. After getting a small loan on the items, you come back about 1 week later to pay the loan and get your 3DS (like I said, you got a rather small loan with the idea that you would retrieve the items as soon as possible), and boy is the pawn shop happy to see you. You get the idea that someone paying off their lawn is not all too common as the clerk's face suddenly breaks into a smile as you hand him the pawn ticket, he hands you a free scratch lottery ticket (everyone who picks up their stuff gets one) and he heads to the back to get your stuff once you pay the balance.

The clerk comes back out and you recognize the grocery bag as yours but you notice he also has a 3DS box in his hands. He drops the bag and the box in front of you, cutting the tied bag open so you can inspect your games as he goes to check on a customer outside the building. You open the box to find a fairly new black 3DS (bought earlier this month from one of the many Gamestops around here) with a Nerf protective case around it. Your 3DS is the Zelda anniversary edition, but you knew already this one wasn't yours because you did not bring a box. You look in the bag and tucked behind the games is the Zelda 3DS you know and love. It is quite obvious to you by now that the clerk didn't even think the little 3DS was in the bag and grabbed the box without thinking about it (there is even a sticker with the other person's name on the box and a sticker in that person's name regarding a Toshiba laptop he pawned the same day).

It's a big "no shit" that this actually happened to me, so my question is two-fold:

1. What would you do in such a scenario: alert the pawn shop to their mistake or take the extra 3DS with you?

Keep in mind that it will be pawn shop who pays for their mistake, not the other guy. He will be reimbursed since the shop has lost his 3DS and it is their responsibility to replace it...that is if he comes back to pay his loan and get his shit. You may already have a 3DS of your own but these things aren't cheap and you can do anything from keep it just in case to selling or trading it in at Gamestop to giving it away. Or you can be nice and save the pawn shop from their mistake.

2. What do you think I did?

Based on what you know about me from this site do you think I was nice and told the pawn shop or kept my mouth shut and walked out with an extra 3DS?

...and wrestling didn't like him or the other pretenders to the thrones either.

<a href=";videoId=32097" target="_blank" class="new_win">;videoId=32097</a>

Youtube and Google Videos / Jackin' It In San Diego
« on: April 13, 2012, 08:23:16 AM »
It's the brand new smash hit song straight from South Park! Actually this is hilarious and catchy. I have this damn song stuck in my head! I had to catch myself a couple of times before the movie started from singing "jackin' it, jackin' it jackety jack" etc. I tried to embed the actual clip from the South Park Studios website but couldn't get it to so I have included a link to it and embedded a YouTube video with a still and the song. I highly recommend checking out the link so you can get the whole visual.

Music That Sucks / #45: Toby Keith
« on: February 27, 2012, 01:15:57 PM »
(Note: Der der der der Music That Sucks der der der der. Nascar, hunting, incest, Jesus, USA, Deliverance squeal like a pig der der der der.)

Jingo: noun
1. A person who professes patriotism loudly and excessively, favoring vigilant preparedness for war and an aggressive foreign policy; bellicose chauvinist.

Panderer: noun
2. A person who caters to or profits from the weaknesses or vices of others.

Jingoistic Panderer: noun
1. See Toby Keith.

Ahh Country Music. You were once great, with such stars as Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Kris Kristopherson...even groups like Alabama and the fuckin Oak Ridge Boys put out some decent music. A funny thing happened to Country Music on the way to 2012: it was completely taken over by a bunch of pandering inbred sycophants. They pander to the lowest common denominator: a bunch of xenophobic retards who have never been north of the Mason/Dixon line and still think the Civil War is ongoing. Even before the days of the Outlaws mentioned above you had those types in Country, but that's what made the Outlaws so great. They were able to expand Country to the masses, to include people who normally didn't listen to Country while ALSO appealing to those who did. Those days are long gone however and what we have is a musical community more insulated than ever. If you are not a Republican, God fearing "good ol' boy" then there is no place for you in Country Music. Just ask the Dixie Chicks.

More than any other genre in any other time period, today's Country caters to a very specific audience. Country fans, for instance apparently haven't heard of the Internet and mp3s as the genre that seems to sell CDs in abundance anymore is Country. The result of this pandering is creative stifling; there isn't much of a difference between the various Country acts currently performing. There is one artist who shines above all of the others: who panders more than anyone else, and that is Toby Keith. A caveat needed to be added for this induction that I have to address before we go on. Country is so insular that I had to relax my own rules to include this much deserved and in my opinion very important induction. Unless otherwise noted the chart positions mentioned are specifically the Country charts. Usually they are from the "Hot 100" singles and albums charts but Mr. Keith hardly ever makes that chart and has never topped it. He does have a rather large following and is at least known among the general population, so I have allowed it. Without further adieu, grab a six pack and your closest opposite sex relative (fags need not apply in this world) because we're going to explore the world of Toby Keith.

Toby Keith Covel was born in Clinton, Oklahoma on July 8th 1961. Rumors that he tried to claw his way out of his mother's womb 4 days earlier to help his future career and share the same birthday as America are unsubstantiated. As a child Toby worked at his grandmother's supper club where he got into music and would even take the stage with the various performers from time to time. He joined his high school's football team and after graduation he began working in oil fields. Once the oil industry started to fall off in the early 1980's he was left without a job and joined the semi-pro football team the Oklahoma City Drillers. After failing there he began to focus on music career, playing the honky tonk circuit with a group called Easy Money.

In the early 1990's Keith ventured out to Nashville trying to get his demo tape to record companies. He left Nashville when his efforts proved fruitless, dejected as he hadn't found success by his 30th birthday. Fortunately for him and unfortunately for me and Country Music in general a flight attendant fan of his gave his demo tape to an executive at Mercury Records who liked what he heard, went to see Keith perform live and signed him to a record deal. Now keep in mind that in this pre-9/11 world the Toby Keith that we all know now wasn't fully realized yet. Country still had a foot in the "mass audience" door thanks to fellow inductee Garth Brooks and others, so we got a mulleted Keith releasing his first single "Should Have Been A Cowboy" which is quite frankly a generic, uninspired Country tune that reached #1 on the charts and helped his self-titled debut album reach platinum status.

After the success of his first album Keith left Mercury for Polydor, which would merge with A&M Records Nashville. During this time he releaed two albums and even collaborated with the Beach Boys on a cover of "Be True To Your School". Once A&M folded their Country division he went to Mercury (now Mercury Nashville) and released a fourth album "Dream Walkin". The most notable song here is a duet with Sting on "I'm So Happy I Can Stop Crying". So far, so bland for Mr. Keith. It wouldn't be until two landmark incidents in his life, the 9/11 attacks and the accidental death of his father that jingoistic panderer that we know today was fully unleashed.

The first song truly of note here that propelled Keith into the inbred redneck stratosphere was "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American). With such dazzling lyrics as "And the Statue of Liberty started shaking her fist" and "You'll be sorry that you messed with the U. S. of A., 'cause we'll put a boot up your ass, it's the American Way" Keith was obviously pandering to the most Jingoistic among us and in doing so made Country music as closed off to the rest of us as it had ever been. A line in the sand was drawn when ABC had invited Keith to perform the song for a July 4th special only to have host Peter Jennings veto it. During these harrowing times it took a Canadian to stand back and say "hey, this is some jingoistic bullshit and there is a fine line between love for one's country and what Toby Keith is doing".

The controversy did not stop there. Keep in mind that even up until this point Country had yet to turn into the isolationist, "love America and our government or get the fuck out" genre that it has become now. It was still big and open enough to allow differing viewpoints in. This all changed once the Dixie Chicks and their frontwoman Natalie Maines came out against the putrid jingoism of the song and Bush's policies when jingoism was at an all time high. She rightfully called the song "...ignorant, and makes Country Music sound ignorant". Truer words had never been spoken. Some might say Maines was a good prognosticator but I venture to guess that she had impeccable common sense, which was lacking in the post-9/11 world. Keith meanwhile was known to dismiss criticism of his jingoistic anthem as the work of "commie heathens", thus feeding into the jingoistic fervor of the time. Keith displayed photoshops of Maines hanging out with Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, Maines wears a shirt with the acronym "FUTK" ("Fuck You, Toby Keith") and Keith is placed upon an inbred pedestal while the Dixie Chicks are drummed out of the Country Music scene.

Yes, I completely put all onus on Keith and this song for the death blow to Country Music. Sure it had been dying before this song was released but it was this pile of jingoistic bullshit that told the rest of the country "if you aren't 100% in agreement with this song then you don't belong here". This is when Country isolated itself from the rest of society and all of the hard work to expand Country's borders had been destroyed. Along with topping the Country charts "Courtesy of..." reached #25 on the Hot 100. The song became the lead single off of the 2002 album Unleashed. The album produced other Country chart toppers like "Beer For My Horses" (w/Willie Nelson...sigh) which is about lynching car thieves (#22 Hot 100) which also spawneds a TV movie starring Keith and "Who's Your Daddy?" (also #22 Hot 100) about a young girl with a sugar daddy.

Keith would embark on a career of jingoistic pandering, playing in front of troops waving his flag and hanging around the likes of douche bag one-hit wonder Ted Nugent. He expanded into restaurants, helping launch of chains of Toby Keith's I Love This Bar & Grill and further ingraining himself into Redneck Culture as he appeared on the debut episodes of Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling (now known as TNA Impact Wrestling). In more recent times he has released his biggest mainstream hit "Red Solo Cup" which is an homage to cheap plastic cups filled with beer (#1 Country, #17 Hot 100).

Toby Keith took unabashed jingoism to new, terrifying heights while making a profit off of people's fears during a time then those fears were heightened exponentially. He had a huge hand in segregating Country Music to the point of regression, making it the most exclusionist genre in all of music. For that I say, fuck you Toby Keith, you self-righteous, sanctimonious piece of shit. I am using my Constitutionally given Freedom of Speech to say "I don't like your music and what you stand for". Does this make me an un-American commie? No, not at all. If anything I am displaying my patriotism by offering a dissenting opinion because I think it's mindsets like yours that are what's wrong with this country. Fuck you and the drunk horse you rode in on.

Toby Keith, music...that sucks!

Music That Sucks / #44: Helen Reddy
« on: February 16, 2012, 09:55:40 PM »
(Note: Music That Sucks is the opinion of the author and the author is always right. Also: fuck Australia. Seriously, fuck those guys.)

So here I am, struggling to put this Helen Reddy induction together. It's been awhile you understand, about 3 years since I last inducted Kid Rock, and I have to find my groove. I and becoming perplexed as the self-imposed deadline on this approaches. I have to decided to smoke a bowl, wash my pussy and just get it over with.

Oh yeah, I've been listening to and studying Ms. Reddy's music so much it seems as though I have grown a vagina. It's fully developed and a tad bit itchy, hence why I am washing it. Let this serve as a lesson to the rest of you; prolonged exposure to the Helen Reddy catalog will cause Acute Male Vaginitis (AMV). I think after all of this is finished I am going to watch a Meg Ryan movie with my girlfriend and discuss our new lesbian life together whist we laugh and cry together. Oh great, a bottle of Twataway (TM) to help with my AMV. For all of your AMV needs use Twataway: restores balls good as new. Ask your doctor about it today. What? Don't look at me that; I have not sold out. Stupid new snatch...can't even be in a spot where I can have some fun with it...bah!

Paul Hogan. Yahoo Serious. Men At Work. Outback Jack. Olivia Newton-John (who could have an induction of her own). These are just some of the "imports" that have made Stateside from Australia, and these alone would be good enough reasons for a Declaration of War. Yet there is one more that is much more heinous than any of those above: Helen Reddy. Aussies must look at the US and think we are at best semi-retarded as a nation. After all, Ms. Reddy was nowhere near as big in her home country/continent as she was here. No, they sent her our way and laughed as we made a average-looking, somewhat frumpy single mother a fucking megastar.

Born into a family of Australian show business people Reddy had at first decided to rebel by becoming a housewife. Her first marriage lasted just a few months and produced a daughter so unfortunately for the rest of us that meant she needed to return to show business to make some scratch. Upon winning a talent show contest in Australia she was given the opportunity to go to New York and try out...and that the talent show tape was her tryout and it was a no-go. So there she is, estrogen embibed Helen Reddy, with a small daughter deciding to stay in the US and try to make it as a star. Let's poor it on a little more, shall we? She marries her future American manager and was living on scraps until she signed with Capital Records and recorded "I Don't Know How To Love Him" from the musical Jesus Christ Superstar. Aww isn't this harrowing? It gets me all gassy in the bowels. Her first single, which is a bland, milquetoast cover of a terrible song from a terrible musical (as if there's any other kind of musical) goes to #13 on the Top 40 chart in June of 1971.

We wouldn't have an induction if that was the end of it, now would we? Oh no, this is just the very beginning. Reddy's second song, I Am Woman was released in May of 1972 and was a monster of a hit. Inspired by the feminist movement around her, Reddy sety forth to write and record one of the most, sappy, insipid, soulless, trite soft pop singles in history. In fact, I'm pretty sure that you have heard the song that was voted "Best Song To Beat Your Skank To" by the National Alliance of Alcoholics With Battered Wives. I'm sure that right now, at some trailer park you can hear this song playing in the background while some redneck gives his Baby's Momma five across the eyes. I Am Woman even nets Reddy a Grammy for Best Female Pop Vocal and #1 status.

With her bland, ubiquitous looks and singing voice tailor made never to offend the sensibilities of anyone over 60, the "Queen of 70's Pop" (shudder) scored her second #1 hit in 1973 with a cover of a country song performed by Tanya Tucker, "Delta Dawn". With lyrics about some crazy dried up slunt from Brownsville, Tennessee who is waiting for some suitor that jilted her years earlier a second huge hit catapults her into the lilly white mainstream. I wish I were lying, but this bitch got her own variety show, a midseason replacement for Flip Wilson. You got that right; Helen Reddy was the replacement for Flip Wilson. Chew on that and let the vag juice soak in your pours.

"Delta Dawn" was followed up by "Leave Me Alone (Ruby Red Dress)", which was just your run of the mill bland muzak single that got as high as #3 on the charts. Two more Top 20 singles followed before she topped the charts again with the song "Angie Baby" in 1974; which is about a crazy or retarded girl who kidnaps the horny neighbor boy and traps him inside her radio to fuck her at nights. No, I'm not bullshitting you and it's not the sticky-icky-icky talking; that's really what the song is about. The crazy woman whose parents keep locked away from society at large traps the neighbor boy who wandered over looking for some strange inside her radio to fuck as she pleases. ERA now people! It's less LSD than it sounds and more Clitorial Empowerment.

Finally the public at large became burned out from the whole Helen Reddy experience. She never had a major hit after "Angie Baby" as many men headed to their local OB-GYN to obtain some Twataway to treat their cases of AMV. It was a major epidemic of Acute Male Vaginitis back in the mid 70's as any Baby Boomer will tell you as they hang their heads in the shame. It's a shame that the name of the person who invented Twatway has been lost to time when it should be remembered alongside the likes of Jonas Salk. Speaking of which, I hope my meds kick in soon; I'm brewing enough yeast to start my own chain of bakeries.

Helen Reddy....Music: that sucks!

Music That Sucks / MTS Announcement: Two New Inductions And A Very Sad Jim
« on: February 13, 2012, 06:20:35 PM »
After a 3 year hiatus Music That Sucks will be coming back strong with two brand new inductions that are most deserving. The main problem I am experiencing at the moment is that said inductions are not coming out the way I would like them to. What this means is I am most likely going to have to do something that I was really hoping to avoid: immerse myself into the canons of the inductions. I have given myself a deadline of Friday to complete them, and once you see who they are perhaps you'll feel my pain. So stay tuned while I attempt to knock off the rust and bring you more Suck.

General Discussion / Whitney Houston - 48
« on: February 11, 2012, 07:25:30 PM »
In what should be surprising to absolutely no one considering her love of crack and other hard drugs Whitney Houston has died today.

Islipp Classics / Real Life Funny Pain
« on: February 10, 2012, 01:03:18 PM »
Eric takes a header into a toilet in the hallway: 'nuff said.

sickdrjoe   Posted - 10 December 2001 21:16��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageOkay, new topic for this ghost town of a board. Theme: Cruel Is Funny.

What's the funniest REAL LIFE slapstick you've ever watched or took part in? One Mardi Gras night, very drunk & starved, I climbed out of a car in front of a Popeye's just around closing time. The lights were on full, I saw a few workers in there, and so thought, "Great, still open" and hurriedly walked into the plate glass door full force. The kid inside the place killed himself laughing; hey, I would've, too, if YOU'D done it while I watched. "You wanna go to the emergency room for that?" said my old lady concerned over the instant purple swelling.

"After we get chicken", was my groggy response as we drove off in search of a Church's open late.

-Now over here is the viaduct...
-Why a duck?

Edited by - sickdrjoe on 12/10/2001 9:18:47 PM
metaldams   Posted - 10 December 2001 21:44��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI did the exact same thing the first day I moved into my house in Delaware. there was a glass door I didn't know about, and BOOM!, I walked hard right into the door.

I've been a victim of the bucket full of water over the door gag at work before. My first words were, "You stupid motherf^^^^^s!" After the initial shock wore off, I was laughing along with everyone else. A good Stooge fan like me has got to appreciate it, and it was only water.

I got another one, and it was VERY painful. It was my freshmen year in high school and it was during lunch. Everybody was leaving the cafeteria and I was in the middle of a big crowd of people, so I couldn't really see anything. There was a guard rail in the cafeteria that I couldn't see because of the crowd of people, and I walked right into it. Of course, the top of the guard rail was as high as I am just below my waist, so I'll give you one guess where I hit myself. The great thing is, since there was such a big crowd of people, no one saw it, but I was walking to class in pain, singing King Diamond songs.

Edited by - metaldams on 12/10/2001 9:54:39 PM
NoseHonk   Posted - 10 December 2001 22:56��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageOne time when my roomate and I were playing roller hockey with some of my other friends, I was in goal, sporting a small lead (I don't know how I remember that, as I don't remember the outcome of the game) and my roomate (actually he is my roomate now, we were just friends then), who was on the other team, had a break away, and I could see it in his eyes he was gonna get this shot by me if it killed him, it would, after all, tie the game. Well, as he tried to deke me out, his stick hit a crevise in the ground (we were in a parking lot) and the butt of his stick jammed straight into his....You know where. Not only that, but he is a VERY fast skater, and naturally was going VERY fast, the speed combined with the jammed stick force, lifted him off the ground, by his Bojangles, nearly flipping him completely over.

One of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Another, from elementary school:

Me and my schoolyard chums were playing football as we always did at recess, and my friend Jay, who was on my team was WIDE open this on play. Now Jay was a great reciever, second only to me (hehehe), and the QB, I can't remember who, launched one in Jay's direction. It was slightly over thrown, so Jay had to jet for it. Little did he know that the baseball chain linked fence was right in front of him. Then BAM!...

Now I was too far away to heard what Jay said, but an acqaitance, John, walked up to him and said something. I can only imagine what he said, but all I can say is, Jay who was not particularly known for his temper, planted John right in the chin. It was funny because I was too far away to hear a thing either one of them said to each other, I just see Jay hit the fence, get up, kind of woozy, John walk over point at Jay and slap his knee, and Jay deck him.

John walked over to the basketball hoop and hugged the pole and dropped to his knees. I felt sorry for him, but he should've known better.

As for me, there are too many to mention but I tell you the first one that comes to mind.

I was trying to see how tall my brother was, as it appeared he had grown a little bit. Well I grabbed a tape measurer and my brother, who decided to be a pain in the ass, grabbed it from me. I had one end, he had the other, we wrestled over it for about 10 seconds and finally I just yelled "LET GO!". He did, as I was still pulling on it. Not only that, but my hands guessed it, right in front My closed fists and the tape measurer all came back and hit my future children. Dropping both me and my bro to our knees. Me in pain, he with laughter.
the Eel   Posted - 10 December 2001 23:32��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSeveral funny pain things have happened to me and others. Once my friend was laughing so hard while drinking chocolate milk, it came out of his nose! From what he told me, its painful.

Another thing that happened just two days ago was that I was playing racquetball and I hit the ball onto the wall and it bounced back and hit my nose!

Another thing that happened was when I walked from my backyard to a door I thought was open, but I walked straight into the screen door and broke it!

Another funny thing that once happened was that I was talking to my friend while walking down a sidewalk and I didn't see a lightpost and I walked right into it and I was in a world of hurt. My friend laughed quite a bit at that.

Yet another painful yet humorous experience took place in Elementary school. I was walking along the tan bark on the upper level of the playground, then I tripped and fell to the lower level which also had tan bark and my mouth was covered with tan bark and it would be a very funny sight if you had seen it. BTW, the lower level was only about 3 feet.

Those are some painful, yet funny things. I'll try to think of more later.

Edited by - the Eel on 12/10/2001 11:41:59 PM
NoseHonk   Posted - 10 December 2001 23:42��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSounds like my life, Mike.

I too have plowed through, not into, but through a door.
I once had a basketball bounce off the back of a Suburu and tag me in the nose.

I have also had Kwencher, which is that flavored water stuff come out of my nose.

What happened was it was actually my bro's drink, and I was teasing him with it, and he jumped out of the couch and the family room and he yells "SEAN!!!!" and then, I shot a tiddely wink at him and pegged him right between the eyes (he had been hitting me with them all night). He responded by holding his forehead and yellign "YOU F*CKER!", Just as I had taken a HUGE swig of it. I don't what it was, probably the way he said it, but the Oranges And Cream flavored drink came flying out of my nose.

Edited by - Nosehonk on 12/10/2001 11:49:01 PM
ISLIPP   Posted - 10 December 2001 23:43��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageYou're not gonna BELIEVE what I'm recovering from right now! I never made mention of this here before, but here's what happened:

My dad still has most of a brand new toilet in the upstairs hallway. The tank is now in the bathroom. He still has yet to take the old toilet out to install the new one in its place.

Last Monday night, as I was walking through our mostly dark hallway, I turned the corner too quickly and recklessly. My shin hit what felt like the bowl of the toilet and I fell forward, FAST and HARD! I landed on the top of my nose, right between the eyes! I howled in pain as I got up, holding my face. My dad called from downstairs- "What happened?" I told him and he came upstairs. I felt something wet around my eye- and knowing that I haven't shed tears in times of worse pain for many years, I knew it was blood. As I went into the bathroom to look in the mirror, my dad turned the hallway light on and folowed me into the bathroom. I saw that my face looked almost as bloody as Chris Jericho's face in that steel cage match tonight. My nose was busted open, right between the eyes and the other side of my right eye was cut too, VERY close to the white of the eye! I got stitches in my schnoz that night and also found out that I BROKE my nose, just a little though. The stitches were removed yesterday, but the doctor said the wound is infected! It looks better now, though.

"I wanna be a boss. I wanna be a big boss. I wanna be the biggest boss to ever boss the world around." -10cc ©2001
NoseHonk   Posted - 10 December 2001 23:54��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageOuch. That sounded like it hurt like a *&*(@^#(*&^#*@&^@&*(^#*&@#^@*&#^!
metaldams   Posted - 10 December 2001 23:58��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageDamn SLIPP that must've hurt!

When I was younger my family was at a picnic. I was napping on a blanket, so my brother decides to wake me up by punching me full force in the groin. I don't think he ever wants to be an uncle.

I also remember as a little kid sneezing while I had a mouthful of Rice Krispies. Of course they went all over the place.
metaldams   Posted - 11 December 2001 0:7��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI also remember spilling paint on my New York Mets shorts when I was 3. My neighbor was painting his house and I was hanging out with him. My Mom was flipping out big time. The crazy thing is this is the only memory I have of this neighbor because he died of a heart attack at age 48 when I was 3 after his wife died of cancer the week before. He left three teenage sons.

Then, also when when I was 3, I opened up the fridge and tried to take out a glass ginger ale bottle. I dropped it and had to get 7 stitches on my foot and ankle. There was blood everywhere.
sickdrjoe   Posted - 11 December 2001 0:35��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSlipp, seriously, you're lucky you're ALIVE. You musta hit your nose JUST RIGHT so that it 'only' busted. An inch either way and you'd've driven that bone up & in, in which case there'd be an In Memoriam thread here for you, and I'd be running an ad in Backstage for a new Costello.

-Now over here is the viaduct...
-Why a duck?

Edited by - sickdrjoe on 12/11/2001 2:24:07 PM
ISLIPP   Posted - 11 December 2001 1:7��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWow sickdrjoe! I was only thinking about possible eye damage, but you could be right too!

And to think- I had stitches VERY recently for another thing! Those who've read the Stoogeworld review forum in the last couple of weeks know about this: 2 days before this last Thanksgiving, I was carrying an ash tray made of glass in my right hand across a wet floor. ISLIPPed and fell and the ash tray shattered in my hand. It gave me the deepest cut I've ever had. I got 3 stitches in the palm of my hand, but 5 stitches in my nose last Monday.

"I wanna be a boss. I wanna be a big boss. I wanna be the biggest boss that ever bossed the world around. -10cc ®2001
the Eel   Posted - 11 December 2001 1:31��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageNow for my less funny accidents since this topic came up...

When I was 7, I was playing a game called FBI tag with my friends and I played the convict they were chasing. I was also running in the dark, a very stupid thing to do, but what can you expect from a 7 year old? I tripped on a rock and fell on a tree stump. At first the shock and pain made me cry and my dad thinks its nothing serious, but when looks under my shirt, he saw that my chest was cut open and could see actual muscles within my body! At first I wanted to see what it looked like, but I'm glad I didn't after learning you could go into shock if you see a wound like that on you! I went to the hospital and had five stitches on my chest. The scar is quite visible today and will probably be for the rest of my life.

Another story happened when I was 12. I was at a week-long camp that was a school field trip and my group and I were climbing a tree which was called the talking tree. I was at a branch about 6 ft. from the ground and then I have a strange feeling I'm going to fall off. A few seconds later, I did. I landed on my side and hit my head on the dusty ground. The fall also twisted my ankle. At first I thought my head was okay until it started pounding even worse than before. I felt ill. Then after a while, I puked. Then my teacher took me to the principal's office and then a few minutes later, I fainted as they were contacting my parents. From what I heard, it took them 10 minutes to wake me up and I didn't even know that I fainted! Does anybody when they faint?
Then I was driven to the hospital and the doctors there found out I had a minor concussion, and as a result, I had to go home.

BTW, the talking tree must've sweared at me like crazy! Also, as an amazing coincidence, both times I went to the same hospital in which I was born!

Edited by - the Eel on 12/11/2001 1:35:19 AM
bruckman   Posted - 11 December 2001 1:57��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageOne time at the gym while doing lying tricep presses I misjudged the distance and banged the bar into my forehead. (Lying tricep presses are also known as "skullcrushers" and for good reason). Didn't hurt too much (thick head) but my workout partner went around telling everyone what I'd just done, and the embarrassment was much more painful.

Treeplanting: Climbing over a windrow (a large pile of deadfall, logs, slash, etc. about 15 feet high) I saw what looked like nice solid bare ground on the other side and jumped down. Wasn't solid at all: it was nothing but soft mud, and I went in up to my hips, got my boots solidly filled with mud, and required 15 minutes [maybe more] to extricate myself and my boots and equipment. On another windrow [you'd think I'd learned my lesson, but a year or 2 later I was dumb enough to climb over another] I slipped on a wet log and fell butt-first in between two large logs, wedging myself in with my legs sticking up in the air. Again, not too painful, but time-consuming.

I have also repeated Larry's goof of dumping a bowl of something-or-other on my head while wondering what idiot put it on that shelf; more recently I have developed a bad habit of cracking myself in the head with the plaster cast on my left wrist while sleeping.
NoseHonk   Posted - 11 December 2001 2:6��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI was painting an art project once, and had my root beer right next to my paint water...

Sound familiar?
bruckman   Posted - 11 December 2001 5:20��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageFew more treeplanting ones (treeplanting is a hazardous occupation):

Robby, my foreman, was trying to siphon some gas out of his truck into another vehicle. Siphon wouldn't work so he began sucking on it like a straw - and of course ended up swallowing gas.

On one of my crews, some planter had brought along an old dirt bike. This bike was a constant source of trouble. One planter took it for a spin on a logging road and the throttle stuck; the bike went off the road at the next curve into a section of forest and didn't stop until it made contact with a large tree. The planter (his face fairly abraded from branches) then had to push the bike back to camp, a mile and a half. A few days later another planter decided to ride it and the same thing happened; fortunately he was going much slower and was in camp at the time; unfortunately he drove straight into the door of another planter's car (a very big and mean-tempered planter).

I personally have fallen off the back of a pickup truck, gotten hit on the head with a log, been attacked by a grouse, and toppled off a log into a river (better than doing the split and getting the log in the interstitial area, I figured).

Like Nose I played hockey and a list of painful sights wd. be too long.

Slipp, you must be accident prone! If I were you I'd be in bed with the pillow over my head.
hassan-ben-sober   Posted - 11 December 2001 12:56��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageIn my raquet activities class we were playing raquetball and I wind up and hit it with all my might, the ball hits the wall and comes right back and smacks me in my eye. Im bent over double holding my eye cause it feels like my eyeball fell out my jacka$$ friend is laughing his ass off

At work one time for a few months we were laughing about this other guy who had a car accident. I know it sounds evil but this guy was such a moron he totalled his friggin camero into a bush, claiming that there was an icy spot in the middle of april

ive had a few to many myself

Islipp Classics / Mission: Hair
« on: February 10, 2012, 12:29:43 PM »
Mission: Hair is an extremely long thread started in November 2001 innocently enough about women's hair styles. It soon turns into another SDJ/Slipp throwdown. I'm not sure if I have every page but I will post as much as I do have.

curly_cue12   Posted - 11 November 2001 16:55��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messageok now i was at the other day, and i was in the microphonies forum
and this guy said that christine mcintyre's hair looked bad in that short. so guy's lets take a poll. do you think her hair looked good or bad
metaldams   Posted - 11 November 2001 17:54��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI like bald chicks myself.

That Pie Eyed Metal Guy Who Trips The Light Fantastic Elevator Style - METALDAMS
Stooge    Posted - 11 November 2001 19:56��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Message

Edited by - Stooge on 11/11/2001 7:58:38 PM
ISLIPP   Posted - 11 November 2001 20:18��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageMetaldams, you're a riot!

As for me, I've ALWAYS SAID that her hair looked its worst in that short.

tlc1952   Posted - 11 November 2001 23:3��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI'm not a guy, but I thought her hair was beautiful in that short.
muttonhead   Posted - 12 November 2001 20:36��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageChristine always looked gorgeous no matter what. 2nd place goes to Jean Willes,boy her 1st stooge in that tight dress, what a knockout!
Stooge    Posted - 12 November 2001 20:54��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWhat's wrong with her hair in that short? I didn't notice anything.
jamison   Posted - 12 November 2001 21:1��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI think it's become a matter of nothing left to discuss. I'm going to move to the Ritz Brothers site, I guess.
NoseHonk   Posted - 12 November 2001 21:18��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWell I did notice that Moe seems to have a split end in his 235th hair from the left, when measured from the temple on.
ISLIPP   Posted - 12 November 2001 21:23��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageIt's like this- I don't like to see any attractive female bundle her hair up. I like seeing them with long, flowing hair. Christine bundled hers up way too often in the Stooge shorts and in the particular instance of "Micro-Phonies", she had it bundled up in a way that was different from how she had it in most other shorts. If you want to see her hair at it's best looking, see "The Three Troubledoers" and "Squareheads of the Roundtable".

Jamison- Who are (were?) the Ritz Brothers? Do (did?) they have something to do with the crackers or maybe "Puttin' on the Ritz"?

Field Marshal CurlyQ   Posted - 12 November 2001 21:33��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageNosehonk: You sure it's not the 236th?
NoseHonk   Posted - 12 November 2001 21:46��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageMy bad, you're right. The split made it look like 235.
ShempShady   Posted - 13 November 2001 3:11��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageYa know, thanks to you guys for pointing out that it was hair #236. I always though—just based on a quick, rough estimate—that it was about hair #184.

Man, was I way off...
bruckman   Posted - 13 November 2001 4:20��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI kinda dig upswept hairstyles of the 40's; prefer them to the 'peekaboo' Veronica Lake/Rita Hayworth look.

ISLIPP the Ritz bros. were a comedy trio of the 30s-40s who made some fairly unfunny films [GOLDWYN FOLLIES, THE GORILLA, PACK UP YR TROUBLES] kind of like the 3 stooges if moe larry and curly had been played by 3 Danny Kayes. [no slur against Kaye but he could be annoyingly inconsistent]. Ithink the stooges were once mistakenly introduced by ED Sullivan as the ritzes on his show.
Gimmi Legs   Posted - 13 November 2001 10:5��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSlipp, In that period, the upswept hair was the style, rather than long and flowing, with the exception of Veronica Lake, most of the starlets of that era had short, upswept hair.
ISLIPP   Posted - 13 November 2001 19:37��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageThanx, bruckman and Gimmi!


jamison   Posted - 13 November 2001 21:16��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSlipp, do I take your comment to mean that you don't think any short-haired women are attractive? Again, to each his own, but that's a hell of generalization that leaves out everyone from Jean Seberg to Audrey Hepburn to Winona Ryder to Halle Berry.
ISLIPP   Posted - 13 November 2001 21:51��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageJamison- I don't mean to say short hair makes a woman UNattractive, but LESS attractive- significantly less. When a beautiful woman has her hair cut shorter than shoulder-length, it's like if Cindy Crawford got a nose job and ended up with a nose that looks like Barbara Streisands'.


Edited by - ISLIPP on 11/13/2001 9:52:03 PM
metaldams   Posted - 13 November 2001 23:10��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI like short hair, long hair, medium length hair, it's all good. I've seen Jenny McCarthy recently with short hair, and I think she looks better with it. For me, it all depends on the girl.

Jamison: I second you concerning Halle Berry. Schwing!

That Pie Eyed Metal Guy Who Trips The Light Fantastic Elevator Style - METALDAMS

Edited by - metaldams on 11/13/2001 11:11:47 PM
NoseHonk   Posted - 14 November 2001 0:36��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageMmmmm...Halle Berry..arghghghghghg
ShempShady   Posted - 14 November 2001 2:27��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messagejamison, met, and NH: Total agreement with you guys on Halle Barry—and not just for the short hair. Still, I'd never get into a car with her unless I was the one driving.

And I also prefer women with short hair, which doesn't mean that I have anything against ladies with long hair.
NoseHonk   Posted - 14 November 2001 2:31��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageThis may come as a surprise, but hair is....not the first feature I look at.
metaldams   Posted - 14 November 2001 10:29��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageYeah, I'd imagine you're a nose man. :p

That Pie Eyed Metal Guy Who Trips The Light Fantastic Elevator Style - METALDAMS
NoseHonk   Posted - 14 November 2001 12:30��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWhy soitenly! Nostrel position is most important!
tlc1952   Posted - 14 November 2001 22:53��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageNoseHonk, it doesn't surprise me.
ShempShady   Posted - 16 November 2001 2:26��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWow! We're now gonna hafta expand 'BLT' to 'BLTN.'
Field Marshal CurlyQ   Posted - 16 November 2001 8:24��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Message"Well that's neither hair nor there."
curly_cue12   Posted - 20 November 2001 15:27��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messageok, a few words in the defense of christine.
personaly, i like her hair bundled up,i think it looks sexy.#2 if you want to see christines hair at its best, go to bill telfers christine mcintyre site and look at the pic from "gasoline alley".#3 her hair looked great in "micro phonies", and i think that she had a nice head of hair, bundled up or not bundled up.

that bald guy with a buzzcut that woo-woos and nyuk nyuks curly_cue12

[p.s. i have a crush on christine, how about you? are you afraid to admit it????
metaldams   Posted - 20 November 2001 23:45��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageDeathly afraid.

What are YOU looking at?
curly_cue12   Posted - 26 November 2001 11:53��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messagecoward!!
dont worry, its ok to admit it out in the open. all that we will do is castrate you and hack your head off with a samurai sword.
just kidding.

that bald guy with a buzzcut that woo-woos and nyuk nyuks curly_cue12
Gimmi Legs   Posted - 26 November 2001 12:57��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageTO answer this astmantic question, NO her hair looked fabulous as did the rest of her

Slick Chick   Posted - 26 November 2001 18:10��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageFrankly, I like hair that's bundled up like that. If the woman has a nicely-shaped face (like me [POKE!!! ] OWWWWW!), then I think it's better to have their hair up. Christine is not excluded from that. She looked cute like that...not like I'd know, though, this being from a girl's point of view.
sickdrjoe   Posted - 26 November 2001 18:23��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageAgreed. The Gibson-girl 'look' of hair piled up high accentuates the slim, tapered neck and delicate, porcelain-like curvature of the jawline, merely two wonderful physical attributes of a woman. Trust me on this: there are few things sexier than a woman with her hair pinned up.
ISLIPP   Posted - 26 November 2001 21:5��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageTranslation of sickdrjoe's above post: If she's naked, there's nothing blocking my view of her melons with her hair that way. "Giff me dose melons!"

Afa Dollah   Posted - 26 November 2001 23:19��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageAnd if her hair is blocking MY view, it won't be for long.
sickdrjoe   Posted - 26 November 2001 23:34��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageFrom your above comment, Slipp, it's plain to see you were fixed a while ago. Whatta relief THAT is.

Still, it was uncalled for. No Snausages for you tonight, sleep under the porch tonight!

Edited by - sickdrjoe on 11/26/2001 11:35:29 PM
ISLIPP   Posted - 27 November 2001 0:40��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageLet's keep our spat in the other thread, okay "burger boy"?

sickdrjoe   Posted - 27 November 2001 0:51��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWhy? You dragged it over here in the first place, O Jo-Jo The Boy Faced Dog. (See above.)

Now crawl back in your sinkhole before I get mad and post that new thread...
ISLIPP   Posted - 27 November 2001 1:41��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageNo, no, no. I didn't mean my "melons" post against you. I actually thought you'd like it and agree with it. I'm actually sorry if you didn't.

That hole is still vacant. Also that was CU-jo, not "Jo-jo".


Edited by - ISLIPP on 11/27/2001 1:42:55 AM
Afa Dollah   Posted - 27 November 2001 11:54��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageJo-Jo the Dog-Faced Boy was a famous sideshow freak back in the Twenties, I believe. A contemporary of Chang and Eng, the famous Siamese twins....oops, that's conjoined twins these days.
curly_cue12   Posted - 28 November 2001 14:4��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messagewell now see, its a whirlwind. guys, her hair looked great, and she had a great body to go with it. now i think this is settled.
metaldams   Posted - 28 November 2001 14:7��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWhew! I'm glad we got that out of the way!
curly_cue12   Posted - 28 November 2001 14:10��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messagenow frankly, christine's quote"melons"unquote
looked great in my opinion. and as for the naked thing, i am not saying a word.

that bald guy with a buzzcut that woo-woos and nyuk nyuks curly_cue12 christine[woowoo]
sickdrjoe   Posted - 28 November 2001 14:11��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageDid you buy an upswept blonde wig for that blow-up girl in your closet, Cue?

"Group Captain Mandrake, please make me a drink of grain alcohol and rainwater, and help yourself to whatever you'd like."

Edited by - sickdrjoe on 11/28/2001 2:12:02 PM
curly_cue12   Posted - 28 November 2001 14:13��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messageand sickdrjoe, dont make me get mad at you, because you act all macho, but in real life have no balls. no you sdj go back to your sandbox.
curly_cue12   Posted - 28 November 2001 14:16��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messageno i did not because i have no blowup doll in my closet. although i suppose you have one because no girl would go out with you.
i like christine, and there is nothing wrong there. she was a great lady

Islipp Classics / Idea For The Farrelly Bros.
« on: February 10, 2012, 12:18:56 PM »
More of a thread to show how long the massive pile of suck known as the Farrelly Bros. new Stooges movie has been around and known about rather than Islipp gold, Doug makes a suggestion:

metaldams   Posted - 6 January 2002 21:5��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSince we are all reacting strongly to the ISLIPP character on this board, how many of you think it would be a good idea if a character inspired by SLIPP was incorporated in the new Stooges movie? I know some of you guys will think it's dumb and I'm cool with that, but does anyone else think this would be a great idea? He'd make the perfect foil. This chat is coming up with the Farrelly's, so I figure if we let them in on what's happening.....
sickdrjoe   Posted - 6 January 2002 21:16��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWe could call him Virgin Dent or Emil S*itka.

Edited by - sickdrjoe on 1/6/2002 9:17:53 PM
Squid McGuffey   Posted - 6 January 2002 21:19��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageOr Dudley DICKemsome

'I got the gas bill!!!'
sickdrjoe   Posted - 6 January 2002 21:25��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageHeinie Conked-in? Kenneth Ronald McDonald?
Teddy Hoosevelt   Posted - 6 January 2002 21:31��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageThe Stooges could visit Mayfield in the 1950's and meet
Barbara Fillitinme
Huge Beaumont
Tony Endowed
and Jerry Slathers as the Beaver
ShempShady   Posted - 6 January 2002 21:34��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageGood idea, met, as long as they leave out the religious 'fervor,' but leave in the twelve-eggs-short-of-a-dozen cluelessness.

And call him 'Eric, the Unread.'

Edited by - ShempShady on 1/6/2002 9:44:49 PM
Hammond Eggar   Posted - 6 January 2002 21:40��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageFor some reason, I'm enjoying this name game. How about JAMES C. MORON? Maybe JERK MAHONEY? Since it is SLIPP, how about LIE SHYNDELL? (Remember, this is all in good fun. No harm is intended.)

Remember. . .
"When you talk about destruction, don't you know that you can count me out!"
Afa Dollah   Posted - 6 January 2002 22:5��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageHugh G. Rection?

Harry Cox?
meee   Posted - 6 January 2002 22:10��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messageok, afa dollah, you stole that Hugh E.thing from WCW...Hugh Morrus' other wrestling name. PS, all those guys got the sack from WWF recently, i believe,including Undertakers son('s "farm" and injured wrestlers wrestle in Cincy ohio to get into ring shape before going back to wwf)...they also got rid of "Kiwi"(Allen Funk),Johny the Bull, and a few others.\
metaldams   Posted - 6 January 2002 22:12��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageJimmy Moorehead
Dud Jamison
Harry Bush
Holly Lou Ya
ShempShady   Posted - 6 January 2002 22:42��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageMake him a member of Al Qaeda:

Azif I. Khair
Afa Dollah   Posted - 6 January 2002 22:48��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messagemeeee sorry, I'm not a wrestling fan. How about:

Peter O'Toole (oops)
Dick Hardwicke

"Your voice of reason and moderation in troubled times."
metaldams   Posted - 6 January 2002 22:50��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageHugh Johnson

meee   Posted - 6 January 2002 23:12��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messageafa dollah, u r cool by meee.

"Your president is not a crook" R.M. Nixon...a few months(?) before he resigned. Hey, ya know what is about as hard to find as Osama? a totally honest politician...
(maybe even harder to find,eh?). Just messing around,peace.

ISLIPP   Posted - 7 January 2002 3:5��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI don't know guys. Considering what an idiot my character was, well, would you want THAT much rage, that KIND of rage in a STOOGE movie? Maybe so- but from a bad guy who the boys are giving "the works" to.

Other names:

Dick Hurtus
Sigh Sh**dell
Jerk McPhoney
Nan Nut Boredo
Stankley Blechstone

Edited by - ISLIPP on 1/7/2002 3:06:47 AM
Squid McGuffey   Posted - 7 January 2002 7:48��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageHarry P. Ness
Hugh G. Rection
Mike Hunt
Seymour Butts

'I got the gas bill!!!'

shemps#1   Posted - 7 January 2002 12:4��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageDon't you mean a bad guy who's giving "the works" to boys, slipp?

A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words.

Islipp Classics / Your New Year, My Requiem
« on: February 10, 2012, 12:07:23 PM »
New Years Day 2002: Slipp makes one of MANY melodramatic "exits" from the boards.

ISLIPP   Posted - 1 January 2002 1:29��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI have not read or replied to any posts on any Stooge site since my last reply at Stoogeworld last night. I almost had the nerve to do something right then that I had to strain with every fiber of my being to keep from doing throughout most of my high school years. Practically my whole life was spent being a laughing stock. The 5 years that I spent as a virtual hermit, starting when I graduated high school was the only truly peaceful time I ever had from that AND the fact that most everything I've ever done backfired on me, wheter anything was my fault or not. I can't hold down a job. I've never been fired for doing anything wrong, but but one time for my clumsiness and the other because of false accusations. I no longer feel like I can be accepted and taken seriously anywhere except with my family and church family. I no longer feel like I should take a chance on leaving my comfort zone for anybody. I don't even feel like I deserve a comfort zone. My life away from the forum is just as, if not even more pitiful than my existence here. If I can't even have a good exsistence here, imagine how much more I could mess up my real life. So now, I think I have the nerve to do what I kept myself from doing in high school. Either way, you'll never have me to laugh at again. When everything I do or say is considered a cry for attention or just plain stupid, why should I do anything at all anymore. Why should I get up in the morning? Why should I even breathe? Everything was originally peaceful here when I started posting. Because I obviously never learned how to defend myself correctly- because when I do, I always either end up sounding like an idiot or just getting my antagonizer angrier- sickdrjoe has, as I have stated last night at Stoogeworld, whether consciously or unconsciously, made my forum exsistence a living hell. He had help along the way, in the form of those who viewed me as the antagonizer. They hate me more than their least favorite food. They have also contributed to my misery.

New Year's Day is upon us and there's only a few I'd actualy like to wish a Happy New Year among you. I won't say specifically who, to avoid there being even more hard feelings against me. But I have a few notes to specific posters before I say my final goodbyes:

TO STEN, SQUID & BOA- You now have what you've been wanting for most of this last year- Stooge forums free of that loser, that moron, that idiot, that whiner and complainer that ruins everything for everyone- ISLIPP. I'm not going to insult anyone of you in this, my final post. I'm actually happy when I can make someone happy somehow. Take care and have a good life.

Sickdrjoe- I'm not going to insult you here either. I'm not going to curse you, your life or your loved ones. I'll only say this- I know you're not getting what you want- you're losing your "Costello". I just feel sorry for the poor, unsuspecting fool who will end up being your next victim. Well, there's no one else currently here that you would do that to, is there? That remains to be seen- but I won't be here to see it. I'm glad, for your sake, that the Stooges aren't alive today. They would be so ashamed to have you for a fan. But hey, look on the bright side- you won. I'm leaving. And also, be glad of this- most everybody on every forum always loved and respected you and they always will. So because I know you'll only have it anyway, I wish you a continued happy forum exsistence.

EVERYBODY ELSE- I like you all on different levels. I thank those of you who have been in my corner and those of you who have given me good advice- and a VERY Happy New Year to you and also a very happy forum existence.

Goodybe- and in the minds of probably most of you, good riddance to me.
B. Bopper   Posted - 1 January 2002 1:43��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageHappy New Year to you ISLIPP, and to everyone else. I certainly wouldn't want to see you leave, as you are a great member to this forum.

B. Bopper-President of the Amalgamated Association of Morons, local 6 & 7/8
sickdrjoe   Posted - 1 January 2002 1:43��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI wish it were somehow possible for your parents to see this (and your other recent posts) so they could get you professional help, immediately.

This is an Internet forum. An escape from reality....NOT reality itself!

Other than that, I have nothing to add to your shameful post except you should be banned for the only reason anyone should ever be banned: for your own well-being. Get offline, now. You obviously are deeply troubled, and your computer is no longer your friend.
kingMJA   Posted - 1 January 2002 1:46��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageDont go SLIPP, you know alot about the stooges, which makes you an important member of this forum.
metaldams   Posted - 1 January 2002 2:11��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Message"Why should I get up in the morning? Why should I even breathe?"

SLIPP, you say you're not going to read this, but I have a feeling you will. Those words above that I quoted from you sound like the words of someone who is suicidal. I should know, I've been down that road before, even during my very early days as a poster here, though I never showed it on this board. If you truly feel that way, then please feel free to e-mail me and we'll talk about it in private. I'll be away for my uncle's funeral the next couple of days, so if I don't get back right away, that's why.
bruckman   Posted - 1 January 2002 2:15��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSlipp, if this is truly A Farewell to Slipp then all I can say is it's been mostly fun and I thank you for answering my queries on Stooge films. If am ever in Michigan and you want to take a road trip and play Sal Paradise to my Dean Moriarty you're welcome to ride shotgun - as long as you pay for the gas. Likewise, feel free to knock an email over the fence to me anytime.
the Eel   Posted - 1 January 2002 2:20��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageDon't leave SLIPP, I know life has seemed tough for you and this is just an example of winter depression, quite common among many, it ought to go away by the first sign of Spring, but I may be wrong about your case, SLIPP.
ShempShady   Posted - 1 January 2002 2:46��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSLIPP: Whether you leave or not—indeed whether you EXIST or not—I seriously do wish you all the best in 2002 (and beyond).
Boa   Posted - 1 January 2002 10:4��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessagePathetic, truly pathetic. Your only salvation, my boy, lies far away from internet message boards and chat rooms, in the land of REAL, LIVE human interaction.

Eu predigo que retornará em algum formulário.
Squid McGuffey   Posted - 1 January 2002 10:21��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageNo comment

Do unto others - then run like hell!
shemps#1   Posted - 1 January 2002 10:35��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messageplease stop feeling so friggin sorry for yourself and try to mature as a human being. You're whole Nancy Kerrigan "Why me?!?" episode has made me apathetic.
NoseHonk   Posted - 1 January 2002 13:49��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWait a second. So you ask SLIPP to leave the board, he does, and you continue to bash him?

I've gotta be hones, I'm a little lost as to what you all want out of this. It would appear that you will not be satisfied until SLIPP has a gun in his mouth.
sweet_canadian_girl   Posted - 1 January 2002 14:14��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI didn't want him to leave
sickdrjoe   Posted - 1 January 2002 14:18��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWhoa there; hold up a second. I've stood all of this nonsense that I can!

I had fun teeing off on Slipp for a while with "Tables Turned" until it got old, but he kept ON and ON with it until it got irritating and, finally, infuriating. That I had "fun" should stand as testimony that I generally take Slipp's obsessive quests to destroy me with these cockamamie "Secrets Of Sick Dr Joe REVEALED!" threads with a grain of salt. By my count, every few weeks, he's good for one of these.

But anybody who couldn't see he was DEAD SERIOUS with all of these looney-tunes assaults is blind or stupid. The entire purpose of this last one was borne out by his launching a SECOND flank at Stoogeworld: he was purely, insanely, burning for

Before anybody else begins this foolishness of 'are you HAPPY now - you made him KILL HIMSELF!!' (a scenario I highly doubt), let me ask you: where were the private e-mails you'd sent Slipp urging him to seek professional help? Oh. That's what I never bothered doing that, so deep was your 'concern'. Well, I've sent the poor boob half-a-dozen emails over the last few months - real, human-being type emails, till his peculiar symptoms drove me into a rage again - PLEADING with this guy to find another outlet or get help. Cos that is the ONLY thing that will 'save' Slipp....PROFESSIONAL HELP. NOT pleasant facades at ThreeFrigginStooges Dot Com!! And if you're about to weigh in NOW with your 'compassion'
...but you never told him privately that he needed to get're as bogus as Slipp's 'suicide'. Ohh yeah...THAT'S credible. He started a war that he lost, badly,humiliatingly, and now he drags his carcass forth to PROMISE to punish us with his suicide. "Then you'll be sorry!" My ASS I'll be sorry. It'll be MILLER TIME.

Pfah! For two weeks, every time I come on this board, I see MY name, and I'm sick of it! I'm sick of Slipp, I'm sick of C3 (wanna see this post disappear? Here: that was C3 pretending to be "Old Fan" yesterday, telling us to get a life. I posted as much yesterday and the whole thread went blooey shortly afterwards)I'm sick of the censorship
& "altered:" threads, and I'm sick of the phony sanctimony. I "killed" Slipp? IF ONLY! But you all helped by laughing along, no matter how hard you wanna get serious and judgmental allofasudden.

I'm outta the Stooge-posting business...okay? Slipp, you can come out from behind the sofa now: your kingdom has been restored to you. Though if I ever meet you anywhere online (since you ain't leavin' the house anytime this century)my first question to you will be, "WHY THE F#@K AREN'T YOU DEAD? YOU PROMISED!!"

Signing off to find the "nerve to do something that I had to strain with every fiber of my being to keep from doing throughout most of my high school years"; mainly, find another board.

Edited by - sickdrjoe on 1/1/2002 2:23:21 PM
jamison   Posted - 1 January 2002 15:57��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWhat a way to start the new year! Here I was in a jolly mood after watching eight consecutive HONEYMOONERS episodes and come upon this thread. I would hope noone thinks Slipp is really going to do the dutch. In fact, I think he's still around (if you know his real name, check out a new poster in a different thread and see what you think) SDJ,
if you're really serious, head for There's a whole lotta subjects
there and too many sleepy posters. They need someone to give them a kick in the keister.
the Eel   Posted - 1 January 2002 21:13��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageFor all you SLIPP supporters and haters, I'm sure SLIPP will be back soon, like next week. I know this because upset posters(ex: Squid and Teddy) will announce their leave from the board but tend to come back within the next week.

NoseHonk   Posted - 1 January 2002 21:28  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit MessageI was merely asking what all of you wanted out of this. I'll admit, I seldomn e-mailed SLIPP, I dont think any of them advise him to see a shrink. However, I did give a few of those "pep talks" on the forum. And I was harshly criticized for doing that ("The more you do this, the worse he's gonna get" you all said).
Those were legitimate (although looney) attacks by SLIPP, yes. Although he said the advice was helping, I had my doubts, so I stoppped spending 10 minutes trying to "help" him.
I was in a bad mood this morning, so that might eplain my jumping the gun a little there. But I honestly don't know what you guys want out of this.

1: You wanted to expose SLIPP as a moron, especially TO SLIPP: SUCCESSFUL

2: You wanted him out: SUCCESSFUL

Was there something else you wanted?

sdj, I never wanted you to leave, I had one of those mornings where not only did nothing go right, but EVERYTHING went wrong. So I was probably, nay, DEFINITELY still furious about that. I apologize for jumping own all of your throats, but I still wonder:

What exactly did you all want out of this?
sickdrjoe   Posted - 1 January 2002 22:12  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit MessageA cameo appearance here to further explain.

This SLIPP thing has exhausted me. I didn't "want" EITHER of those things, however.

1) Anybody who needs ME to 'prove' this point just ain't been paying attention. He has done 98% of the worst damage all by his lonesome.

2) I didn't think he would or could leave, in fact he's champing at the bit to post right now. He's the Boy Who Needs To Be Needed and no doubt threatening suicide is a time-tested tactic that's gotten him many a Happy Meal in the past. But leave the board? Never happen.

I did think that threatening suicide was perhaps the lowest, most desperate play for sympathy and attention he's ever pulled. But let's be honest: it's not exactly sympathy he's looking's hatred of me by someone, ANYONE, besides himself. I mean, for Christ's sake, READ his recent posts! He's basically bet the ranch that he'd be able to whip up at least a paltry lynch mob; by this point he clearly draws more sustenance from me being attacked than by him being defended. I mean, whaddaya want from me? I thought I was being pretty restrained, until the universal 'no sale' he got on his Merry Xmas Decryption Project infuriated him into 'oh, NOW I see, he is your god & THAT'S why you refuse to attack him'....and by then, he'd dug himself so deep that his only out was sobbing how I'd ruined his life forever, there's only One Way Out for him, nothing left to live for, etc. And you have the brass to ask ME what did I intend to achieve??? The guy lit a stick of TNT to throw at me, then put it between his knees while he checked his watch to see if it was time for Scooby Doo, and he got blown up. Why not ask HIM what he 'wanted out of all this' instead?

My leaving for other boards is only part Slipp. I had an inkling there'd be more 'aww, that was TERRIBLE what you did to poor Slipp' than there's been so far, but I am NOT gonna come out of a 3-day skirmish with Slipp and face the My Lai treatment from a bunch of hypocrites who laffed it up on deck as Slipp drowned and then wanna officially blame somebody when he stops coming up for air altogether.

However, the other, larger reason is all this censorship and send-em-a-message part-time 'oops!' bannings of regulars. It's gotten to the point where - every day - threads are gone, threads are altered, certain posts get deleted, ORIGINAL INTENT
gets pulled like taffy into new 'meanings' (see the much-butchered Shemp thread of a few days back.)What the heck am I posting for if half of everything I post gets yanked? How about those parts of threads that are completely innocuous but get taken down with the 'offensive' parts of the thread? I mean, they did it AGAIN in the last 24 hours! I'm not keeping strict count, but that makes around a dozen or more threads pulled or bowdlerized in a WEEK (and a slow week!) It's been pissing me off for a while now, and this Slipp idiocy just pushed it further. that we're totally clear on these issues, I will depart for the other boards. Again - for the record...Slipp ain't punching his own ticket. And if he did, I wouldn't lose a minute's sleep about it. Anybody fool enuf to eat Glock over a feud on a Stooges board was gonna find SOME idiot reason to do it anyway sooner or later (the hygienist laughed & said 'no'; my nickname at work is 'Sabu'; the ring came off my pudding can, etc).

Edited by - sickdrjoe on 1/3/2002 7:17:56 AM
Sten   Posted - 2 January 2002 2:14  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit MessageWell, as I not only warrant a special mention from Slipp himself, but also an assumed inclusion in Nosehonk’s plaintive “Oh you MEAN, MEAN people, what do you WANT from the poor boy?”, I think I’ll answer.

This is the second time in as many days that I’ve had to print out a post of Slipp’s and sit down with a pen, paper and the DSM-IV. This is the fourth month that I’ve found myself telling this man that in my semi-professional opinion, he ought to seek professional help. He has sought to use these boards as some sort of refuge from true society, a reality he never learned to deal with. Dr Joe wishes that there was someway to let his parents see his message, but in truth it is his parents—they who allowed him to spend the 5 years straight out of high school as a virtual hermit—who surely deserve some of the blame for the state they find their son in today. They are enablers, just as anyone who continues to coddle Slipp NOW is an enabler. Speaking as someone just 2 credits away from a degree in Psychology, Slipp needs real help. He is unable to function in the real world, so OF COURSE he is unable to function in this magnified microcosm of society, OF COURSE he will still fail in interpersonal relationships, ESPECIALLY as he is quite adept at finding new enablers to sponsor him wherever he goes.

Straight off the cuff, Slipp shows evidence of textbook Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), with Projection as the defense mechanism of choice. Part of the clinical description of HPD is that patients with it “seek reassurance and approval constantly and may become upset or angry when others do not attend to them or praise them . . .The cognitive style associated with HPD is impressionistic, characterized by a tendency to view situations in very global, black and white terms. Speech is often vague, lacking in detail and characterized by hyperbole. . . A large part of therapy for such individuals usually focuses on the problematic interpersonal relationships. They often manipulate others through emotional crises, using charm . . .or complaining.” Sound familiar? Of course it does. KLASEEK SLIPP.

So, think you’re helping the poor old slob now by blaming Joe and the rest of the Merry Pranksters? Think again: YOU ARE BEING MANIPULATED. Look at that post. Of what use would it be to post a stencil perfect “cry for help” such as this on a board where no one at all can help you, and you know it? Why no use at all. But this isn’t a cry for help, is it? It’s a CALL TO ARMS, the only last ditch, old and faithful gambit he's got to lob after the spectacular failure of “Tables”, engineered to turn forum sentiment against the Chicago 8, err, Dot Com 4. It’s not the first time he’s played the sympathy card, and it won’t be the last, because he knows it works. This latest wrinkle, upping the ante from the “seriously scary dad” posts as Superstooge over at Stoogeworld, is simply the next disgusting step in a long established pattern that YOU are enabling. Slipp is hardly experiencing a Major Depressive Episode . . . more like a Majorly EMBARASSING Episode after his self described “howitzer” only kicked mud back in his OWN face.

Slipp dead? He never even existed, except as the online persona of a 27-year old male named Eric. And if the bible has taught us nothing (Homer Simpson: “And it hasn’t”), the dead DO rise . . . but usually with different user names. Lazarus, I say unto you, come on out!

As this board is slowly being bled to death anyhow, and the ratio of Sten posts allowed to stand to those deleted is mortifyingly low, plus since I hear Joe muttering the last rites for this thread by again outing OldFan, I’ll repeat what I said yesterday, before it all went poof mysteriously. First, I think the problems Squid and Jim experienced over the weekend were the result of C3 test running the banning software, and second “Someone very recently referred to C3 as the ‘thought police’, a title that is SO apt for several reasons, most importantly because by their continued deletion of posts deemed unacceptable, the unavoidable eventuality is subconscious SELF-censorship, the most subtly insidious kind of ‘thought policing’ possible.” Please don’t forget, kids. ‘Cuz pretty soon there won’t be any adults here to remind you.

Front desk, please direct all future correspondence to

See ya in Oz, folks.
ShempShady   Posted - 2 January 2002 3:3  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit MessageGut gesagt, Sten!

And I just hope that this new individual posting as 'Eric' won't be quite as 'zany' as a previous poster (allegedly) by that name.
NoseHonk   Posted - 2 January 2002 3:6  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit MessageVery insightful post Sten.

Now to ReBooty.

1. I admitted I was REALLY pissed off this morning, not at any of you, but just the way the morning had gone. In fact, there was just ONE incident from this morning, (one of the many) that had me furious (not edgy, but FURIOUS) for hours, including the time I made the post.

2. I never said SLIPP was dead, OR was going to commit suicide. In my 'jumping the gun" speech, I said you wouldn't be satisfied UNTIL he killed himself, never stating he actually would or did.

3. SLIPP was not a genius by any means. But I am one of those people that just doesn't like to see people get ganged up on. EVER. Regardless of how wienerish, dopey, immature, etc. the person might be. (ahem..)

4. I do SINCERELY apologize for what I said this morning. It was a mistake. I should've never said it. I have, as sdj pointed out, been somewhat hypocritical in my defense (What can I say, I'm an AMERICAN!)of SLIPP. The entire situation had me chucklin many times.

5. Sten, your post has got me thinking that perhaps SLIPP is bogus. I've thought it for a while, but now the FACTS are here, and there's not much of an argument.

6. I hope to maintain good standing on this board. I've gone a few rounds with a few of you, but we're humans, so, that explains that. I never meant to offend any of you, but, like I said, there was smoke billowing out of my ears as I typed, and when I'm mad, like most, being rational does not take real high priority.

With that I say Good Day to you all.
the Eel   Posted - 2 January 2002 3:36  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit MessageSten, I agree with you that Slipp needs outside help but I do strongly disapprove of you five(Sick, Squid, Shemps#1, Boa, and you) ganging up on him. It was way funnier and less hurtful when it was one on one. I feel the same way Nose does about people ganging up on someone.

Nose, of course Eric(Slipp) is being bogus about his leave, he'll absolutely, positively be back sometime next week.
Squid McGuffey   Posted - 2 January 2002 9:6  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit MessageYou people are enabling the fictitious SLIPP to stay alive - can't you see that this has been a plot by C3 to split us all up and get us fighting amongst ourselves so thast we all leave and as SDJ says they have a legitimate excuse to shut down the board or will have a bunch a nicey posters who toe the party line?

Drop the SLIPP thing entirely. This is an Internet forum - not real life. If there is a SLIPP and he decides to off himself it will be for causes unrelated to this - namely inability to deal with life.

This is the Monsters Are Due On Maple Street being lived out. DON'T FALL FOR IT AS YOU WILL BE DESTROYED - NOT THE SUPPOSED ENEMY

Do unto others - then run like hell!
Gimmi Legs   Posted - 2 January 2002 15:20  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit MessageSlipp, be a man for once and either defend yourself or just drop out. You are being a COWARD. Dont blame Squid or SDJ, just be a man. Only cowards drop out. If you cant hold a job, find out why you cant and work on correcting the problem. Dont come hear for advice, be an adult and work on it. Even if it means reading a book from a jerk off idiot like Tony Roberts, DO IT, maybe something will be there that can help make a difference. Stop being so damned pathetic, stand up for yourself and dont quit
Gimmi Legs   Posted - 2 January 2002 15:30  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit MessageEel, no one GANGS up on Slipp. He invites (on occasion) the ganging up. Once BOA was on my case about a feud I had with some little twerps on this site. Did I run and cry "boo-hoo"? No! I told Boa to do her womanly duties, rub me feet and get me my beer! But it was all in a serious/jesting manner. Boa did not cry on the board that I abused her, or insulted her. She did not cry to the Webmaster. She made her point, I made my point and we are the better for it. BTW, BOA, I am still waiting for my beer (I'm Joking)
jamison   Posted - 2 January 2002 15:49  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit MessageI think I've "advised" Slipp on various issues. Did I enable him? Possibly. What can I do about it? Nothing. Time to forget about
him until he returns (and you KNOW he will)?
Señorita Rita   Posted - 2 January 2002 18:41  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit MessageGood Lord...THIS is why I don't come to this site as often as I used to.
jamison   Posted - 2 January 2002 18:42  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit MessageYou see how moribund things are without SDJ??? He's a true catalyst for discussions of all kinds and he's gone! The badgering by Slipp should have been put down sometime ago.
I take blame for not having tried to force him to stop the BS.
Now we've lost a cultured, erudite master of words and wisdom and a million facts. It will never be the same here, this I know.
shemps#1   Posted - 2 January 2002 19:3  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit MessageEel, you do not know the entire story, so don't complain about Slipp being "ganged up on". Other than that, Gimmi summed up my stance pretty clearly.
Boa   Posted - 2 January 2002 19:33  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit MessageOne thing I gotta say about the Eel - he's a slippery one.

And Gimmi, check your e-mail!

Cousin Basil! You're even cuter than Aunt Sadie said you were!
Squid McGuffey   Posted - 2 January 2002 19:39  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit MessageThe Monsters Are HERE On Maple Street. Just look at yourselves

Do unto others - then run like hell!

Boa   Posted - 2 January 2002 19:55��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI'm sorry Squid, I know about the "Nightmare on Elm Street" movies and I used to live on "Oak Street", but I can't quite fathom your "Maple Street" references.

We are all gathered here enjoying (most of us) the new found silence, drinking a toast to the effigy of ISLIPP swinging from the rafters and getting (slowly) back into some Stooge topics.

Cousin Basil! You're even cuter than Aunt Sadie said you were!
Squid McGuffey   Posted - 2 January 2002 21:13��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageBoa

The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street was a Twilight Zone episode where aliens kept producing interference that led to neighbors killing neighbors and the aliens could take the block by pitting the people against each other. This is what I am getting from this. While if SLIPP is real I rejoice in his departure, I still smell something funny about all of this. Whether it be a C3 minion masquerading as a poster or something else I don't know but something is not right about this entire situation. Just be careful

'I got the gas bill!!!'
Boa   Posted - 2 January 2002 21:47��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSquid

Thanks for the explanation – it IS apropos. Your 6th sense is spooky! We'll have to wait and see, I guess.

"Cousin Basil! You're even cuter than Aunt Sadie said you were!" - Miss Hopkins
Hammond Eggar   Posted - 2 January 2002 22:21��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWell, I hope all of the SICKDRJOEs of this Forum are proud of themselves. SLIPP may not have been the most intellectual person, but that certainly gave none of you the right to gng up on him. I'm not saying that he was totally innocent throughout this whole affair, but c'mon guys. Instead of just accepting him for who he is, and embracing his enthusiasm for the Stooges, you chose to critisize and laugh at him at every turn. Sure, SLIPP looked a bit foolish at times. What can you expect? The man did have a right to try to defend himself. Well, who's next? Me? I'm sure the "ALMIGHTY" and "PERFECT" Sickdrjoe could care less if I took my "peacenick/Beatles loving/TOP 40 listening" self and quietly left, as well. I won't give him the satisfaction. I am, instead, opting for sanity and maturity. I refuse to take any part of this pety, imature game. I want to be a part of this Forum. I like you guys, for the most part, and enjoy exchanging ideas. That said, I only enjoy it if the conversation is uplifting and entertaining. Unfortunately, as of late, much of the talk here has been neither. I sure hope 2002 turns out to be a better year for this Forum. I am looking forward to many more wonderful Stooges and non-Stooges exhanges with all of you.
As for SICKDRJOE, and all those who swear by him, I hope you guys can still look at yourselves in the mirror tomorrow.

Remember. . .
"When you talk about destruction, don't you know that you can count me out!"
Squid McGuffey   Posted - 2 January 2002 22:34��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageLighten up HE. Things will be breaking here VERY soon!

'I got the gas bill!!!'
OldFan   Posted - 2 January 2002 22:42��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI thought I was the "C3 minion".
Hammond Eggar   Posted - 2 January 2002 22:43��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageOK, Squid. Maybe I did come on too strong. That said, I really can't help feeling what I feel. ISLIPP truely did receive the raw end of the deal, in my opinion.

Remember. . .
"When you talk about destruction, don't you know that you can count me out!"
metaldams   Posted - 2 January 2002 22:57��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Message

Edited by - metaldams on 1/2/2002 10:59:36 PM
metaldams   Posted - 2 January 2002 22:59��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSLIPP used his suicide message as a way of trying to make sick feel guilty for this fued. I know a bunch of us are specualting on this, but I have 100% proof because he e-mailed me and others on this board with this information. He told me not to let this get out on the boards, but as far as I'm concerned, he can f*ck off! That son of a bitch wants to fake being suicidal. That is sick, just plain sick! There have been two suicides in my family, (one before I was born), and I myself probably would've suffered the same fate a few years ago if weren't for the combination of seeking help and having the desire to follow through with the help. You don't pretend to be suicidal, that is no joke! SLIPP, wanna know something that sickens me? I just come back from two days in CT. grieving with my family over the loss of my uncle, who dies at 55. He was an incredible man who had the greatest sense of humor and did so much for his community. Then I am hugging and comforting my crying 42 year old aunt who is now a widow, and that woman is a saint the way she cares for my grandmother with Alzhemier's. I know at least Hammond knows what that is like. It is one of the hardest things anyone can do, yet she does it with patience and no complaining. After two days of that, I come back to this board to find some lifeless, psychotic, bed wetting, walk him on a leash, stuff his sorry ass in a cardboard box, never kissed a girl, judgemental little kernel of corn in my sh*t still breathing. That's not right. How dare you pretend to be suicidal when you're not you psychotic little weasel? To think I was dumb enough to think there was some truth in your "suicidal" post and actually reach out to try to help you, even going as far to e-mail you. By the way, I NEVER blamed sickdrjoe for this, even if SLIPP was telling the truth, (which he obviously wasn't), and any of you who did are ignorant and obviously know nothing about depression or suicidal people. SLIPP if you ever step foot on this board again I guarantee you I will make your forum life a living hell, (I only said forum life, not your real "life", so don't even think you can scare me with some phony lawsuit crap). I'll make you wish you were fueding with sickdrjoe again!

Hammond, read what I said about being ignorant, it applies to you in this scenario.
Squid McGuffey   Posted - 2 January 2002 23:39��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageThe problem is Metal, that his forum life IS his real life. Just lay back - the silliness will end itself in a few days

'I got the gas bill!!!'
NoseHonk   Posted - 3 January 2002 1:28��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI too, am infuriated by SLIPP's sharade. That is absolutely one of the SICKEST things a person can do. My dad is one of the head execs of a Suicide prevention program called Light For Life. The people who started it, who are friends of my dad's and have been for 30 years, lost their son to suicide. He was in his late teens. No one knew how to help help him, he called 6 of his friends in the hours leading up to his death, but none of them knew what to do. His parents grimmly discovered his body in his car 7 minutes after he had pulled the trigger. And all thse 10+ years later, they are still crushed.

SLIPP, I have been your proverbial big brother on this forum, defending you no matter how idiotic your posts had become. Hell, I even made a HUGE ass out of myself for you on THIS VERY THREAD. Now I look back and wonder why I wasted my time. I was so optimistic about you, and then this. You say you decieved us, well OF COURSE you did. Anyone knows that you never call the bluff of someone who says they're going to end it all. And then you say, "Just Kidding".

ISLIPP   Posted - 3 January 2002 3:1��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Message

Edited by - ISLIPP on 4/7/2002 3:24:51 AM
NoseHonk   Posted - 3 January 2002 3:35��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageIt'll have to be metal or Bopper, SLIPP. I cannot, and will nt forgive you for this. It was absolutely deplorable.
ShempShady   Posted - 3 January 2002 3:35��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSLIPP:

I didn't have—to be read 'waste my'—time to read your last lengthy post, not only because you are now leaving, but since you are a mere piece of plastic, and unworthy of the attention to be paid to a real human being.

And considering the various bits of fecal matter that you've posted here—AWESOME riddance, if you are truly committed to never posting here again. (But you're likely too much of a loser to stick to your commitment.)

Note to Webmeister: PLEASE delete any further ISLIPP posts to this site!
sickdrjoe   Posted - 3 January 2002 6:18��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI suppose it's only fitting that I close out p 3 of this thread, but I neither want to sack-dance around Slipp's crumpled body nor blow a "tolja-so" horn. Instead, I want to add my two cents on the depression/suicide topic that sprang from this thread.

The two truest things to have been spoken on this topic never appeared here. Sten -in a private email which I apologize in advance for quoting from - said in ref to depression, "Extreme depression means extreme self-culpability. EVERYTHING is internalized..." (I think pretty highly of Sten for her fencing-champion way with a bon mot, but she's also a dab hand at direct hits of truth as well).

The other is a quote from the most cynically vicious writer currently spewing, Jim Goad, who wrote (and careful, this gets nasty):
"It's one of life's cruel paradoxes that truly worthless people never appreciate their own worthlessness and thus aren't prone to commit suicide. (Suicidally depressed individuals) all display an emotive capacity which makes them superior to the clueless f**ks who drive around in their tiny cars and never consider killing themselves. The dumb jerkoffs who swagger with beer-bellied self-assurance are the ones who SHOULD be thinking about it, and SERIOUSLY. In contrast, those who contemplate, attempt or complete suicide feel that life sucks a fat purple d**k...and they're right. But if there were more people like them, this world wouldn't be half as bad. Ironically, it's the NON-suicidal who make life unbearable."

The point to alla that is that I don't think, based on the above, there are too many people on this board who haven't wrestled with depression at least on occasion...thus the offensiveness of Slipp's little stunt.
Whoever coined 'ignorance is bliss' wasn't weaving out of whole cloth. The Net is supposed to be 'fun' but in ways nobody is really too comfortable talking about, it's theraputic as least for those of us old enough to remember the days of No Net Whatsoever. Y'know, previous to the WWW, this is how you connected with people: through school or work. And probably most of us have made lifelong friends that way, but far too often, in this alienating and alienated modern world, that means settling for the LEAST offensive person in your immediate circle, or the people you share at least one or two interests in common with, however mildly or superficially. But just as often, for those of us who've felt like square pegs in round holes, it means a measure of loneliness. If you're a fan of Victorian literature living in coal-mining country, you're s**t outta luck for kindred spirits. If you're a punk rocker growing up in a provincial little town, or an agnostic/atheist living in a hallelujah backwater, or ANY type of misfit, the Internet provides something that no other generation in history has known: a way to meet and forge friendships with people you may never physically shake hands with, but who share common interests and peculiarities with you at similar or greater levels of intensity and enthusiasm. That might sound like a buncha slop, but it's gotta ring true with anybody over, say, 35.

This is why I never understood a guy like Slipp who allowed this wonderful tool to become a club for him to beat himself to death with, and why I NEVER bought that 'suicide' bit for a minute. He simply doesn't have enough DEPTH OF CHARACTER to even WANT to x himself out...the same way he
uses the enormous potential of the Web merely as a window into a Cinemascope panorama of New Enemies Out To Get Him. I see the Internet as a great tool to give people hope that they're not alone, and the ability to create nurturing, beneficial communities based on something deeper and more extensive than physical proximity. Forget this board altogether - I've used this doohickey to swap music, books, videos and (far more importantly) ideas and opinions with people all over the world: Australia, South Korea, Germany, etc; I've gotten to correspond with writers, artists, musicians I'd otherwise have never gotten the opportunity to do; and I've made friends right here on this board (f'rinstance - what likelihood WAS there that a college-aged young kid in Delaware and a chain-smoking, busted-down valise in south Louisiana would have ever gotten friendly EXCEPT for the Net??)and, first & foremost, an opportunity to speak my mind and listen to others speaking theirs (even YOU, Hammond!)
The Net isn't a curse, or a drug like alcohol or's a tool, a blessing, an opportunity for the common working man to reach out farther than he or she ever could before and GROW from the experience...for the Common Man to become the Uncommon Man, so to speak. I like to think the Net has prevented ten times as many suicides as it's caused.

So Slipp's breakdown...the many clear-as-a-bell warning signs he's shown us all over the months that the Internet had become yet ANOTHER bogeyman controlling his life and terrorizing him...should have told us all that he is one of those people who has SERIOUS mental-illness issues. He didn't use online forums as a method to share experiences and enrich his life (however incrementally) but to reinforce everything that was ALREADY wrong with him and his life. He never missed a chance to rattle off his personal prejudices as Gospel, nor to alternately share his most ignominious personal history/upbraid everyone for picking on him, and turn post after post into either whining, juvenilia, or both. If he IS depressed, it's a side-effect of some far deeper problem that he toted with him BEFORE he ever came online, that neither he nor his parents had ever addressed. In short: most of us come online to trade our narrow geographical confinements for the wider panorama of cyberspace (ie, we've made many more friends than enemies online because that's what we're trying to do!); Slipp takes the World Entire & devolves it into the same damn small town he lives in every day, full of sadistic bullies, older people who are too busy to pay attention to him, 'nice' girls who tolerate him, 'mean' girls who tease him mercilessly, the grouchy old man next door, the mean kid up the street who robbed his bike once, etc, etc. He comes looking to justify his world-view that They're All Against Me & They Always Were....if you look & look & look for something obsessively enuf, you're sure to find it. HE DOESN'T BELONG ON THE NET, FOLKS. He needs a doctor's care, he needs a girlfriend, he needs to get out of where he is, or whatEVER the hell it is that he needs, but he's made the WWW a giant, perpetually-enabling tool...the Net has made him WORSE, not better. It's given him MUCH MORE reinforcement of his peculiar belief of "sure, YOU'RE one of them, too - all against me".

Don't hate him because you feel used or betrayed by his phony suicide. Try to feel a small measure of compassion for someone who has a different, far more serious, mental illness than chronic depression. But also bear in mind that by tolerating or encouraging him, you're making him worse.

Slipp: get OFF the Net and get help, boy.

Edited by - sickdrjoe on 1/3/2002 8:17:26 AM

Islipp Classics / MEDITRAN!
« on: February 10, 2012, 11:52:13 AM »
HA! I'm so glad I found this, a gem among gems once thought lost to time has been found! It is my my HONOR to present you one of Slipp's goofier alter egos: Meditran. Read with lots of lube because your mind is about to be fucked! Unfortunately all that remains is the first page.   :(

Meditran   Posted - 8 January 2002 2:0��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI'm representing a small group of Stooge fans in my town that have had it with that f****ing idiot ISLIPP, but don't want to see a Stooge message board dedicated to the mentally disturbed, bed-wetting moron. We're taking suggestions as to what we can call ourselves. You people AND ISLIPP are turning this place into HIS website. We usedto enjoy reading the posts here, but it's become so polluted.

What you are all doing will not get him to leave. We have observed that he's creating havok even while Drjoe and the other top ISLIPP-bashers give him their worst. We think he won't leave until he "proves himself" as he said. I'm against giving that S.O.B. the chance that he wants, but I'm not for what you are all doing either because this is supposed to be a place to have fun, not to fight or gang up on someone who isn't worth it. I realize you are having fun bringing back his old quotes and if you want to bring those ISLIPP-bashing threads back, I won't stop you. But I ask you to think about what I just said. Let this be a Stooge forum, not an ISLIPP forum.

If I've angered anyone, I apologize. My intentions were good though. My group wanted one of us to start posting here anyway, so I can be the voice for all of them. Aside to Metal and Honk: This can be an interesting factor in your voting events. One vote from me will be what most of the people in my group decide on. Cool, huh?

the Eel   Posted - 8 January 2002 2:35��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageAll right, I know you're against Slipp(so am I ever since that suicide post of his, I also want to end this war) but this is Open Forum, you can talk about anything you want! Besides, whay was the idea of posting that comment on the what do you think everyone looks like? thread. A while ago we ran out of stooge topics and the last one was probably my thread on favorite and least favorite live-action sequences. Get used to the fact that we won't be talking about stooges on this part of the board most of the time. If you want to really post anything stooge-related its best done on the stooge reviews section, and I've tried to revive it, but people aren't interested in it except maybe CStyles or Larrysgirl who post their N.Y.U.K reviews. I just posted the Kings Of Laughter DVD review just to bring up a new topic in that section.

BTW, on this board, it is not a good idea to introduce yourself by dissing a board member.

P.S: Sickdrjoe is currently gaining far more supporters and is winning this war against the pathological liar Slipp. In fact, Slipp is on the brink of total loss in this war.

Edited by - the Eel on 1/8/2002 2:37:23 AM
NoseHonk   Posted - 8 January 2002 2:46��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSO close in fact that he has began posting under another name!

Here's a hint:

It begins with an 'm' and ends with a 'editran'

And let me guess meditran, the little group are your children trapped forever more inbetween your legs.

Edited by - Nosehonk on 1/8/2002 2:57:05 AM
Meditran   Posted - 8 January 2002 3:2��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageHonk- be skeptikal if you wish, but we'd rather you all accuse us of being C3. They're not idiotic, but their legal dealings are. ISLIPP is idiocy in raw form.

Eel- we knew not to expect much Stooge talk here. As I stated in our explanation post, weve been watching this forum for quite awhile, so we know all about that. You all come up with great non-Stooge topics as well and we wanted to get in on that fun too. Our problem is that the ISLIPP-related posts take away from the spirit of fun that should be present here. They are there because you all hate the guy. We DO believe he deserves all this razzing from you, but why let one bad apple spoil the bunch?

Do you all want us to formerly introduce ourselves? We are...

Edie (Like Edie Brickel)

See how we got the user name?
ShempShady   Posted - 8 January 2002 3:9��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageIs that group from Michigan, or does it have a radio talk show based in Nebraska?

SLIPP: This is so obviously you! The writing style AND the attitude behind the post are so similar that it's not even cute or clever.

And this dragging up of dead posts is also an veil-less and veneer-less attempt by you to bury the SLIPP-expose posts.

Hey, 'genius': If the essential problem is that you've posted too much sh*t at this—and other—forums, why do you attempt to combat it by CREATING MORE SH*T?!
ShempShady   Posted - 8 January 2002 3:15��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Message<<<<<Do you all want us to formerly introduce ourselves?>>>>>

'Formerly' is a klasseek example of a SLIPPy typo. (In fact, 'Meditran collective': why not 'formerly introduce yourselves'—as in become former posters at this site?!)
bruckman   Posted - 8 January 2002 3:18��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageYour explanation is that you posted "This is not" a few dozen times in an attempt to get this forum focused on the Stooges? Nice convincer. Now if you'll just tell me which shell the little pea is under. "Two will get you four, four will get you eight...a child can play as well as a man, it's the old army game." I am 99 and 44/100ths certain this is Slipp hassling us because we refuse to accept his apology and play nice.

"Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump."
ISLIPP   Posted - 8 January 2002 3:51��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageOh, what goofbals you guys are! Mistaking me for "The Newbie Gang"? I said I was through with aliases after "False ISLIPP" and I meant it.

An now I'm attacked by ANOTHER newcomer. Well screw it. I'm going to cancel my attempts at proving myself and am REALLY leaving FOR GOOD. You all can take this forum and shove it.
bruckman   Posted - 8 January 2002 4:4��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSlipp, I've tried being friends with you and you apparently don't know how to deal with or appreciate a friend. I've always been supportive of you and have even openly said that I thought you were an OK guy in my book, and you repay me with a statement that the whole thing was a writing experiment gone awry. You take my access of friendship [and Metal's and Nose's and many others] and you stomp and piss on them, then you become petulant when we won't accept your apology. "I'm sorry I pissed in your cornflakes, guys, but I wasn't really serious about it." Well, dude, I gave you advice and I'll give you one more piece. If you really want to stick around here then lay off for a few weeks. You can cruise by but do not respond to any threads. In a month or so you can start reposting, but you must do so only in objective terms, i.e. no posts about Slipp and his problems but merely offering observations and answers to Stooge-related queries. That will not reinstate you in the good graces of everyone but it may make some people look at you in a kinder light. This is just advice and I don't care if you take it or if the doorknob smacks you in the ass on the way out, but if you think you have something genuine to offer us, I'm willing to give it to you.

And this is absolutely positively the last advice I give you on this forum. I honestly don't know what's true or false about you any longer and I hate untruth. What I said to Cue about plagiarism is nothing compared to the offense I take at an alleged writer who persistently bears false witness. That goes for Meditran i.e. Matt Lauer, Edie McClurg, Dave and Ian Thomas, Tina Turner, Ron Palillo, Andy Griffin, and Nick Adams as well.
Meditran   Posted - 8 January 2002 4:21��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageBruckman, you crazy guy! Loved those names for us!

Shempshady, I'm sure you've heard of mallaprops. I was going to include one in each post, but if I'm going to be scutinized like that and accused of being that "person", maybe I'll just "formally" drop it, sir. (See how formal that was?) My mispellings, whether you believe it or not, are just coincedence. When the rest of the gang reads these posts tomorrow, my face will be red.

Dave- of Meditran
bruckman   Posted - 8 January 2002 4:52��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageIn the words of Lyndon Johnson, this information is producing a credibility gap. How do you decide which of you has custody of the keyboard and do any of you spell better than the others? Quick, jump on the Meditran bus, it's headed for Boston!

Goofy definitions #186: Mallaprop: Stand-in for a marshmallow cookie on a movie set.

-Tyler "Bruckman" Durden. "Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."
sickdrjoe   Posted - 8 January 2002 7:48��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageHmmm. You HATE Slipp....therefore you tried with all your might to bury threads which revealed the most damaging information on Slipp (never mind insulted him nonstop).

Let's see: we've had The Old Slipp, The NEW Slipp, The Fake Slipp, The New Original Honest-This-Time-The Writing-Experiment-Is-OVER-Slipp...even one Slipp is too many, and we've been plagued with half a dozen!

And, of course, we've had Slipp dressed up as a psychiatrist, his own mother, a Great If Unpublished Author, and now.....His Name Is Legion. (The one common thread to all his piss-poor disguises is that each of them denies BEING Slipp....but in a distinctly Slipp-like voice.)

But if it's any consolation, Eric, pretending to be a MULTITUDE of people at once - is the most OVERTLY SATANIC thing you could've possibly done! Say goodbye to that fluffy cloud you've banked on using for a Barcalounger since infancy; the Pit yawns for you, hungry to eat your soul. READ that stupid book you love shaking at others in a white-knuckled fist so much! "Many-residing-in-one" is The Devil's UPC code!!

Welcome HOME, Slipp. Turn the crosses in your ex-home upside down on your way out the door as you prepare for a fiery eternity of pitchfork luuuvv!


Edited by - sickdrjoe on 1/8/2002 7:52:07 AM
metaldams   Posted - 8 January 2002 8:52��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageDon't worry SLIPP, hell ain't a bad place to be. You can finally learn to get along with all non-evangelical Christians. After all, that's where they're all going, right SLIPP?
sweet_canadian_girl   Posted - 8 January 2002 9:2��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWhat a load of crap.

"Its is aBooT PRIDE!!! It is ABOOOT zee molecular structure of SPAM!!!!"
sickdrjoe   Posted - 8 January 2002 12:10��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageAre ya SURE you ain't SIX guys named

I gnatz
S eamus
"L ard Lad"
I bn-Al-Sharif
P orcel
P ontius

Meditran   Posted - 8 January 2002 12:11��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageIsn't ANYONE goig to gve us a warm welcome? Can't ANYONE join this board without being called ISLIPP?

Bruckman- This is still Dave, the one nominated for the typing duties for our group.

Islipp Classics / Secret File: SLIPP
« on: February 10, 2012, 11:44:32 AM »
Another long lost gem from January 2002, sickdrjoe shares parts of an email exchange he had with metaldams regarding "you know who"... Includes a rare Meditran appearance.

sickdrjoe   Posted - 7 January 2002 22:18��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageY'know what? The HELL with posting Slipp's old idiocies; it ain't like anybody needs PROOF by this point. But seeing Metal 'out' Li'l Eric's private email the other day sort of gave me a great 'forum highlights' idea.

What follows are excerpts from the private email I've swapped with Metaldams, circa May through July...when I was first confronted with The Artist Formerly Known As The Fake ISLIPP, and was understandably dismayed that such people walked the Earth. Now before anybody cries "foul", I have quoted only MY portion of these conversations and have excerpted only MY comments regarding Slipp w/o revealing any personal information regarding Metal, myself or our conversations. I have done this for two reasons:

1) Tell the rest of ya johnny-come-latelies I TOLD YA SO!
2) Brand new, previously unpublished Slipp insults to read!! Not so much a bootleg as studio outtakes and alternate takes (for you record collectors!)

Here goes!

MAY 3 (I'm starting to find him annoying )
"I guess this is as good a time as any to point out that I could probably use a breather from ISLIPP, too. I've about had my fill of his psalm-singing spineless candy ass! Like Supt Chalmers said to Ned Flanders: "Take it outside, God-boy!" When I first came aboard the forum, I knew a lot of the regs were young, college-kid-types, but I assumed (from the tone of the various posts) that YOU were close to 30 and HE hadda be 17 or 18, as your posts were more adult-reading and intelligent and his were so whiny and starved for attention. Finding out that you're 22 or so and HE'S the one close to 30 just gives me a crawly feeling sometimes...half the time I wanna tell him to turn off the f**king computer, take off his jammies, walk out of his mommy's house and get himself laid, or high, or arrested or some f**king thing.

I mean, I surfed over to Stoogeworld and by the time I finally got to the msg board (I ain't got the lay o' the land there quite yet) there he is! ISLIPP clogging the board with his puppy-without-a-home 'let's all be best buddies in God's love' horsesh*t and to be cruel but perfectly frank, I need a little break from this guy. (Yeah, I know he's probably not a bad sort and I'm venting steam, but....sometimes he's like a cross between Felix Unger and Ned Flanders and I can't put up with that round the clock. The other night I ended up posting at like 3:30 AM just so I could swap a little intelligent conversation with Bruckman when, boom! Here he comes at 4 in the goddam morning wanting to catch up on anything he might've missed! And it looks like he cruises EVERY Stooge site known to man, to, constantly. Hey, I've ALREADY got a girlfriend AND a dog – no thanks, Slipp!)
Sorry to blast YOU with this, but I know it wouldn't be cool to say any of this on the board, and I don't wanna crush the guy's feelings or anything...hey, I figger, YOU I can bitch to!"

Lookit how polite I was then...glad I got over THAT.

MAY 5 (it continues... )
"Y'know, I sit here shaking my head - half laughing and half worried about that boy.
It amazes me that he claims he wants to be a writer, and that he'll "never give up"!
(Not as long as my mom doesn't sell the house, at least.) He's like a giant child, has little concept of everyday reality, almost NO knowledge of anything that happened anywhere on Earth before The A Team, a smug, irritating, holier-than-thou-and-better-too attitude that makes total strangers wanna hit him with a rolled up hat like he was f**king Satch from The Bowery Boys, and, most likely, his cherry.
WHAT would he write about? How he loves the taste of Lucky Charms in the morning? He keeps saying he wants to be the next R.L. Stine (whose name he keeps misspelling, too- some 'hero') who is a guy who writes children's books. CHILDREN'S BOOKS, for Christ's sake. What more do ya need to know? Here's my new 'take' on Slipp, since the 'no-tit-touching' seemed to pan out: I picture him in his room, chilling out on the computer, wearing a gigantic pair of adult Pampers. There's a half-finished coloring book on the bed, to boot. (Seriously now, and I know this is all in fun and Slipp's the salt of the earth,'s very strange. He shows the classic personality-type of the child molester, don't you think? I mean I can't see him with an adult female - he's so damn child like - but by the same token, he's 27 and his hormones are CHURNIN' and he's gotta have SOME outlet. Hey, forget I said it, it's just some morbid notion and besides, we're just talking here........Operator, get me the FBI...)"

MAY 21 (SLIPP has told a bedwetting tale )
Far be it from me to say, "I told ya so"......but Slipp's little tale of making sissy in bed is too, too much. If you've been keeping score, by the way, that's yet ANOTHER common thread among sex preeverts/serial killers. If he ever lets it Slipp that his mom really wanted a daughter and dressed him up like Jon Benet Ramsey till he was 12, call the Millenium Group and leave a message for Frank Black....SO many ways that 'bedwetting' post disturbs me, I can't believe I passed up the many obvious ISLIPP 'signature' cracks (i.e., ISLIPP - on a yellow puddle?; ISLIPP -
on the forensic evidence!; ISLIPP - plus I hear voices!, etc). Just think of what a celebrity you'll be to your friends n family AFTER the cops connect Slipp to the local rash of disappearances!

JUNE 1 (from here on out, Slipp's off to the races )
Y'know, I was on the board briefly and I'll tell you what, Slipp is annoying me ALREADY. Such stupid, stupid threads he starts, and such idiotic posts to other people's - I'm embarrassed being on the same board with him sometimes. Today I see him wearing the giant-baby ensemble: adult Huggies held in place with a GIGANTIC f**king safety-pin, and Mickey Mouse ears. A 3-liter container of Sunkist orange soda sits next to the monitor, beside the beachwear catalogs for pre-teens (the ones with the pix of saucy 10-year-olds with that come-hither look he likes). By now, I'll NEVER be able to picture Slipp in real pants - he's either dressed like Stinky or like Baby Huey. It's outta my hands.

Did you get a load of Slipp PLEADING with me to come back ('Stooges-Dot-Net' thread)??? He needs a friend SO bad, it's painful to think about. Go read that last post by him and ask yourself if you've ever seen such a disgraceful admission of "I have nothing REMOTELY RESEMBLING a life'. He's like a 160-lb worm that taught itself to type.

Not only did I read that moronic comment by Mr Pampers, but it got me so angry that I took a shot at Slipp as Gritto (I'm surprised nobody 'outed' me for that crack alone!) I'm starting to notice that, along with that comment, Slipp kind of thinks of himself as the King Of All Stooge Fans. Notice anytime a poster returns to the board
(like Larrysgirl or Anne), Slipp's right there like the f**kin' doorman & maitre'd. Like he's the official yardstick all Stooge fans are measured by. Metal, it's THAT kind of attitude from him that really twists my onions. Maybe, after I 'announce' my return, I can resume ripping him a third corn-chute. He's the kind of guy that needs to catch a beating every day whether he deserves it or not, anyway, so I'd consider it a public service.

6/28 (on Slipp's ever-whimpering tone )
Indeed. I call it the 'annoying murmur'. The fight is over, they turn away pretending to be satisfied...and out comes the murmur, JUST audible enough to piss you off all over again. Guess what? It's okay in a woman (sort of), and TOTALLY INTOLERABLE in a man.
BTW, I'd be amazed if I receive another e-mail from ISH*TT...but you never know. That last one I sent him pretty much sank his battleship, don't ya think?

Slipp Explained (Sort Of)
Well, like most people fond of using big words, I'm pretty hopeless on math issues, but to save time, I just refer to this simple rule:
Lemme tell you, this rule never lets me down: it works EVERY time, like Colt 45!
(BTW, his favorite A-Teamer is MURDOCK. That pretty much sez it all.)

It's Official, He's A F**king Idiot!

Okay, Metal, I just sat down and CLOSELY SCRUTINIZED Slipp's idea.
He IS a f**king idiot, hands down.
Do yourself a favor and PAY NO ATTENTION to this dribbling f**king MORON.
He really is amazing: he can't spell. He can't conjugate. Can't think critically. Can't do math. Totally ignorant of history, culture, philosophy, current events, laws of physics, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. The one and ONLY thing he knows anything about (through single-minded repetition) are Three Stooges shorts. I won't even go near his moronic and bigoted intolerance of others, or his 'groovy' musical tastes. ('Queen ROXX' ??? Pardon me -"ROXX"????) Has NEVER had sex, a friend OR a job.
I stopped my fight with him FAR too soon. Believe it or not, when I'm confronted by such a PERFECT specimen of 'Homo nippleheadus' I feel an irresistible urge to club him to death before he can pollute the Caucasian gene-pool any further. But then you'd have to MATE to spawn, so I guess we're safe. But tell the truth... the more you'd confronted with his smug assholier-than-thou idiocy (who else would start out with made-it-up-myself-math and then spend 2 pages of forum-script INSISTING that YOU'RE wrong???)....aren't you CURIOUS about what this guy is REALLY like? The look on his parents faces when they face him each day? You KNOW his father wishes every day he'da just jerked off into the toilet that night! I picture ten year olds flicking lit cigarettes at him as he leaves his house in the morning...IF he does at all. And the Salvation Army truck making DELIVERIES to his house (Huggies, Big Little Books and Baby Huey bonnets.)
He's the '62 Mets of human beings!!!!!!

Good ol Ned Flanders....he NEVER lets ya down, huh? Arguing with Slipp is like trying to play charades with a German Shepherd. He's never gonna get it.
A word of advice, though...that URGE you feel is gonna get stronger. If you hold your fire but attempt to land the mildest, wittiest of zingers just to gently chide him, he's gonna assume the worst (remember, people are 'always picking fights' with him - his own words), and over-retaliate in that f**gy way that allows him to fire away and YET still play The Misunderstood Innocent, and then, well, then you just GOTTA unload. This isn't a macho pride thing I'm describing, a la Gimmi's almost an involuntary reaction. Because you've been deliberately holding back and restraining yourself and there he is, sh*tting on you like he just caught you assf**king his mother in Macy's window (a theme I would revisit later ), and before you know it, yer going BLOOEY on him in public. So either laugh off his idiocy or bang his hole right out the box! No middle ground, it don't pay with him.

And on and on and on....I'm being merciful cutting it off on the Fourth of July!!
After that, I sorta started to dislike the guy! (Actually, God help me, by October or so I'd actually gotten used to him.)

But Slipp baby, consider this a warning,....I've got ANOTHER 6 MONTHS WORTH of this stuff before I even get to your POSTED nonsense! Leave, Slipp, leave, and save yourself a HELLACIOUS ass-whuppin'...

Edited by - sickdrjoe on 1/8/2002 8:07:54 AM

Edited by - sickdrjoe on 1/8/2002 8:11:44 AM
shemps#1   Posted - 7 January 2002 22:32��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageThe humble beginnings of the Hatfields and Dahmers.

A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words.
curly_cue12   Posted - 7 January 2002 22:36��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageOk, i warned you.
If this is a fake ISLIPP, Then i wont bother you.
However,if this is the Slipp, Then i will have to e-mail you.
Do you know how childish this is?
It is a huge waste of time,And your slaver ruins this forum.
curly_cue12   Posted - 7 January 2002 22:40��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI agree with you on many things,SickDrJoe.
But do you have anything better to do?
If this guy is an a$$,e-mail him,And keep it out of the forum.I am the most powerful enemy you have,SickDrJoe, Because you have no material on me.
Do you have to bring this worthless, Slavering sand-box argument into the forum?
Please,stop the childish now.
"Only you can prevent forum fires."
sickdrjoe   Posted - 7 January 2002 22:42��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageAs usual I have NO idea what you're trying to say, Cue. You need to have some big person with a credit card order you SEE IT & SAY IT IN ENGLISH, ok?
ShempShady   Posted - 7 January 2002 22:43��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessagePriceless stuff, doc!
curly_cue12   Posted - 7 January 2002 22:43��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageAnd one more thing.
If you so much as breath wrong in this forum,
I swear with God as my witness,Your A$$ will go down hard.
I am more powerful now that i have several things off of my back.
consider THIS a warning,and fill your hands with lead, you son of a B****
shemps#1   Posted - 7 January 2002 22:47��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI didn't give you permission to speak, fish!

A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words.
curly_cue12   Posted - 7 January 2002 22:47��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI tried...............
You only prove my point that you are a slavering fool.
You cannot read simple English........
Do i have to spell it out?
in other words,if you dont quit filling the forum with this slaver, your butt is down.
ShempShady   Posted - 7 January 2002 22:52��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageLet me guess, cue: Was the January 7th entry on your 2002 'Word-a-Day' calendar...'slaver,' perhaps?
shemps#1   Posted - 7 January 2002 22:55��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWhat the hell is this fascination with drool of yours? What an idiot!

A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words.
curly_cue12   Posted - 7 January 2002 23:1��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Message"i did not give you permission to speak fish!"
Most fish do not suffer from disease,
But you, My brainless friend, Suffer from a disease of the mind.
Slaver does not mean drool.
It means "mindless words." according to webster[that is not the exact definition.].
now that i have thrown the feathers away......
"someone who slavers......any moron replying to this ...slaver!]
ShempShady   Posted - 7 January 2002 23:5��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Message'Slaver' means 'driveling saliva'—and by extension 'drivel; idiocy.'
sickdrjoe   Posted - 7 January 2002 23:7��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageCue, have you ever done The Impossible Sit-Up?

Based on the impacted fecal matter in your eyebrows, I'd guess 'no, but you keep TRYING'.
shemps#1   Posted - 7 January 2002 23:8��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageMain Entry: [2]slaver
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
: saliva dribbling from the mouth

If you do not know what a word means, do not use it. Soon enough they'll call you Chef Cue; with a specialty in "salad-tossing".

A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words.
metaldams   Posted - 7 January 2002 23:9��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSick, I wish I followed your 7/4 advice earlier.

Ah yes, the classic "jerk off in the toilet" line. I almost s*&t myself when I first read that. This stuff brings back fond memories. Good job sick.

NoseHonk   Posted - 7 January 2002 23:14��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWell done sick and metal. cc12, I've noticed the more YOU post here, the less FMCQ posts here, there wouldn't happen to be a correllation would there?
metaldams   Posted - 8 January 2002 0:29��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageBump
ShempShady   Posted - 8 January 2002 1:1��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageScrutiny!
sickdrjoe   Posted - 8 January 2002 1:2��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageBump - and huff my anal vapor, Meditran!
sickdrjoe   Posted - 8 January 2002 1:8��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageBump & ISLIPP's a %#*&@ idiot!
sickdrjoe   Posted - 8 January 2002 1:16��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messagebump
ShempShady   Posted - 8 January 2002 1:36��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Message(Worth another bump.)

NoseHonk   Posted - 8 January 2002 1:51��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageZING!
bruckman   Posted - 8 January 2002 1:58��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageThis gives me a little info on what went on during May and June when I was off the forum and came back to find SDJ and Slipp at it. The more I find out about this the more I realize the advice I gave Slipp was not only a waste of my time, it was a waste of everyone's time. A cold dull feeling of horror settles in. You know, I honestly hope Slipp is a writer and puts all this between covers; it would outdo anything by Borges or Umberto Eco.
sweet_canadian_girl   Posted - 8 January 2002 11:5��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageJust for the hell of it.....

Bump! By the way, this is some f***ed up s*it!

"Its is aBooT PRIDE!!! It is ABOOOT zee molecular structure of SPAM!!!!"
sickdrjoe   Posted - 8 January 2002 13:47��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageHEY Meditran! you wanna be 'accepted' here and prove you "eight" aren't Slipp? Fine.

#1. Come up with some NASTY sexual slurs involving Slipp's mom, involving how little it costs to purchase her services

#2. Describe fat tub of guts phony minister John Haggee in the most excoriating terms. Picture him in outlandishly-excessive homosexual couplings & situations.

No half-stepping, either. And NO baloney about how "six of us are ready to do it, but Dave's gay and Edie's a devout Babtist" EITHER. Fulfill these simple requests and you MIGHT just get a membership card (I mean, 8 cards!)

Edited by - sickdrjoe on 1/8/2002 1:48:47 PM
Squid McGuffey   Posted - 8 January 2002 13:52��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI think I saw SLIPP's parents on Jerry Springer. His mother can't have sex unless it is in a tub of dead fish and his father can only have sex with ice sculptures, preferably of swans.

There - I've joined the childish behavior I have been damning all day

'I got the gas bill!!!'
sickdrjoe   Posted - 8 January 2002 14:8��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Message...and don't you feel BETTER now? Admit it!
Meditran   Posted - 8 January 2002 14:53��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageFor Drjoe:

1. Yes, ISLIPP's mom's service charges are so low, but the service is so great! Bill Clinton was with her one night and guess what SHE tried to do with the cigar?

2. John Haggee? Calling him a fat tub of guts is as true as calling Clinton horny. He MUST be homosexual though, if ISLIPP is a follower of his. His phoniness knows no bounds. The people who listen to him are either nuts or sick of Saturday Night Live.

What do you think? I may not be much of a commedian, but I be can as good a slam artist as anybody.
shemps#1   Posted - 8 January 2002 14:56��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Message....and you're still unfunny!

A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words.

Islipp Classics / Funniest Forum Moments (C3 Board Jan 2002)
« on: February 10, 2012, 11:30:28 AM »
What started out as a thread about reminiscing turned into a thread in which everyone's "mother" made guest appearances...well except mine. This was in response to Eric posting to the boards pretending to be his mother.

NoseHonk   Posted - 6 January 2002 16:45��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI am encouraging all of you forum memebers to search the forum for it's funniest moments. Yes, SLIPP will be popualar on this thread, be that as it may, pummel through the archives to find the moments that have slayed us all with unprecedented hilarity.

Be it one liners or entire threads, Stoogeworld, Dot net, or here.

I know many funny things were taken from us, but there are still soem gut busters out there. Let's find them!
sickdrjoe   Posted - 6 January 2002 16:51��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageGuess who? From June 1st.

"Happy June 1st everyone! With the beginning of a new month comes a new challenge! This will be to perform something bizzare in public that the Stooges did in public in their films.
If you've already done it, no need to do it again (unless you want to), but you're encouraged to share your story.
The challenge will change every 1st day of a month. If all goes well, I can change it to every 3rd week. No prizes- real or fictional- it's just to have some good, clean fun! If the challenge seems too bizarre, take it as a dare! Are you ready? This month's challenge is..........
When you're mad at someone, take them with you by grabbing their hair or by puling them by the nostril with your pinky! You can even throw in a "C'mooon!" like Moe.
Doing this will show the people that see you that you are a true Stooge fan! What are you waiting for- 'take someone for a walk' ASAP!
ISLIPP, therefore I am."

Tell me YOU didn't shiver reading Slipp endorse 'walking' someone! It's a good thing I now know he was a Salinger-like literary genius role-playing all this time, who decided to MAKE US BELIEVE he was an idiot who was going off the deep end.

Can you imagine if the above would've been posted FOR REAL?

Wait...I got more!
jamison   Posted - 6 January 2002 17:11��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageThere was a riposte SDJ made to CurlyCue12 I think. The main line was something about reaching into your shorts to season your food! I literally had to flee into a men's room stall so I could laugh without people
thinking I'd completely nutted out. I lost control on that one.
sickdrjoe   Posted - 6 January 2002 17:27��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageUpon THAT post appearing, Slipp drew a reaction, from Slug McGurk & others.

Slug posted "ISLIPP has started a thread that advocates that people go out and commit random acts of violence against people. Since this site is seen by impressionable children I think he should be thrown off the board. Thank you."

And Slipp responded, with typical bizarre logic, "Administrator- do what you want, but I in no way want to influence children or anyone else to do acts of violence. In my mind, a hairpull and a nosepull does not count as violence unless you yank the hair
out or, in an unlikely event, your finger rips the nostril wall."

To which Chicolini piped up, "Ahhh, yez both suck!"

Eventually, Slug tried to mend fences: "Slug McGurk declaring a truce with ISLIPP."

But Slipp was in his Treaty Of Versailles period then and rejoined: "That's nice, Slug- you must still agree with the 3 provisions in my 'request for peace' thread. ISLIPP and crack the WHIPP." (MY, he was ruff n tuff back then!)

Fortunately, just then Chicolini butted in again to remark, "I got ya provisions right heah, God-boy."

All 6/1/01

Edited by - sickdrjoe on 1/6/2002 6:55:45 PM
metaldams   Posted - 6 January 2002 17:39��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI agree with you sick. I always enjoyed Michael's posts, as little of them as there were. I definitely feel Michael should be allowed back. I think it's been mentioned before by someone, but if C3 could take their lumps and just let them pass, I have a feeling people wouldn't be down their backs half as much.
ISLIPP   Posted - 6 January 2002 22:3��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWrong thread, metaldams?

There have been many funny moments here that have involved others besides me too. Many are the times that Tony has cracked me up- sickdrjoe too. That line Jamison referred to was a good one. These guys are sharp as tacks (but not as pointy).

ISLIPP and fall down laughing.
metaldams   Posted - 6 January 2002 23:52��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageISLIPP Posted - 5 November 2001 17:53     
Remember in Slick's thread "Yet Another Stupid Question" when I said I was crazy about my dental hygienist? Either this week or next, I'm finally going to do it- with help from the Stooges- (in a manner of speaking).
Earlier today, I somehow recalled a post of bruckman's from a few months ago where he said he sang "Oh, Elaine" (From "Squareheads of the Round Table") to serenade his girl. Another poster suggested that he do "My Life, My Love, My All" (From "Woman Haters") next time. I think I'LL sing that to MY dream girl THIS time! I have a good singing voice. With my low voice, I'll need to do it in the key they had it in the beginning theme. I'll probably go to where she works around closing time this Wednesday or next and surprise her, just hoping she remembers me and that I don't chicken out. I'll let you all know how it went.
sickdrjoe   Posted - 7 January 2002 0:1��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageAttaboy! Just hit "Show topics from past year", let er load up, and BAM!

Classic Slipp stupidity everywhere you turrn!
ISLIPP   Posted - 7 January 2002 1:44��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSee how great my writing talents are? What a touching tribute, and I thank you guys for going to all this trouble.

Sickdrjoe- conplain? Heck no! I know this is a tribute. Bring it on! Let's make this a bigger thread than "mission: hair".

ISLIPP into grattitude for the tribute.
NoseHonk   Posted - 7 January 2002 3:57��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessagePosted by ISLIP January 7, 2002

"See how great my writing talents are? What a touching tribute, and I thank you guys for going to all this trouble.

Sickdrjoe- conplain? Heck no! I know this is a tribute. Bring it on! Let's make this a bigger thread than "mission: hair".

-ISLIPP into grattitude for the tribute."
sickdrjoe   Posted - 7 January 2002 6:54��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageTouche, Hawnk.

Hey, Nose, even when Slipp was shrieking away as "Mom"....could you BEGIN to imagine he would cling like a tick to this board
THIS desperately? To have his fingers jammed in his ears, pretending none of the last six months ever really happened?

He's so insane he chuckles along with people who explicitly describe buggering his mother in public, cuz he figures 'real writers' are broadminded like that. Only HIS mom takes on a German Shepherd three times a night as the floor show between rooster-fights in the back of a Dearborn auto graveyard. (Listen for the sound of booing - that's how you know her set's just started.)

The only thing you've convinced me of is that any children even peripherally around you are in mortal danger. You have NEVER sounded more like John Wayne Gacy than in these last few posts. If ANYONE knows where in Michigan "Eric Cox" lives, contact the local police & FBI - anonymously - and link him to any missing persons in the area. Hell, I used to think you at least had sex with 'em BEFORE you killed I'm starting to think you kill them first so they can't run away like everyone else you've ever known. The only way you can make 'friends' is to keep dead kids in your room like stuffed toys to watch SCOOBY with.

No WONDER your father beat you unmercifully. If only I could've been there to hand him a car-aerial when his arm got tired...

Edited by - sickdrjoe on 1/7/2002 7:17:52 AM
NoseHonk   Posted - 7 January 2002 7:55��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageIndeed, SLIPP has made a bigger ass out of himself than Brian Griese did yesterday against the Diddley-Poos. But then, that's been true for half a year plus now, it's just such a great analogy, and anyone who saw highlights know what I'm talkin' bout.

SLIPP I brought someone to speak with you, it's my pappy! TAKE IT AWAY BID DADDY!

SLIPP, I do not expect you to believe that this is really me. But it IS. I swear. Even though I am sleeping at the moment. Sean has always been big or his age, and well, his heart's as big as his feet. I....He..I meant to say HE...I mean I...He...SEAN always got picked on as a kid, but he always handled with a swift sock in the face. Ah..Memories. Now I...Sean...has always bitten his nails too, still does, which alienates him from groups. Did I mention he's not real? NOPE. Fake as an elf I tell you. Now back to his life story. He was playing football once in the 5th grade, and he had a chance to tie the game on the last play, and he dropped the pass. I HAD IT TOO. Damn that still bugs me. Anyway back to my son's story. He's typing on the computer now, while I'm sleeping, that boy, hehe, always typing.

Well, SLIPP. I hope this has helped you in every way possible. Good day.

-Nosehonk's Dad

sweet_canadian_girl   Posted - 7 January 2002 8:48��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageOh man, you guys should really.......oh no. MY mom has something to say.


Hello, my daughter Melissa is so lazy!! All she does is sit at the computer, typing messages to this site, or sitting on her fat ass watching movies. I don't understand what the big deal is. She really needs to get a life.


Thanks mom. I really appreciate that. And I DON'T spend all my time here THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Uh oh, my mom wants to speak again.


You SHUT UP or I'll lock you in the basement again!


I guess I had better shut up then.
metaldams   Posted - 7 January 2002 9:7��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageNow a message from my Mom:

Hi, I am Douglas's mother. You may know him as metaldams. I am not allowing him to come to this board anymore. I see the kind of children he plays with, like ISLIPP, and quite frankly, he scares me. Ever since my son Douglas has shaved his goatee, he looks a lot younger. This is why I don't want him anywhere near SLIPP. I'm afraid my poor baby will be hurt by SLIPP because he now looks younger. Leave Douglas alone SLIPP, he's not a little boy! Besides, Douglas should be doing more constructive things anyway, like basket weaving, cleaning the cat's litter box, and rubbing my feet while I watch "As The World Turns." He constantly goes around the house saying strange things like, "Green M&M's taste like chicken" and constantly mentions how "tiny" he is. That's why he listens to metal music. He feels these big sounding songs will compensate for his small size. He also has a bad habit of turning all of the crosses in the house upside down while saying, "Cronos made me do it." Anyway, the point of all of this is my son Douglas should not be hanging out here anymore. I blame all of his problems on ISLIPP. You've ruined my little baby's life! I was such a good mother to him, letting him sleep in the biggest dog house, feeding him table scraps, and allowing him to poop in the toilet once a week. I hope you're proud of yourself, ISLIPP, for the damage you've done to my son! I think I'm going to cry!"

Uh, thanks Mom.
sweet_canadian_girl   Posted - 7 January 2002 9:10��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Message_____________________________________________
It's good to see other mothers coming to the board!

Mom, shut up before I lock YOU in the basement!

Gimmi Legs   Posted - 7 January 2002 9:59��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageHey, my mom wants to say something

Allo, I ama Gimmi's mama . Please-a no hata my sona Gimmi. He was always a little puny, especially ina da pee-pee. He hada a lotta girlfreinds, buta deya laugha at his a teeny weeny pee-pee. Gimmi wanna be a Rollin Stona but he not to good ona guitar. She lova everybody, but no like people lika Slippa who is a big baby cry. When Gimmi was a leetle keed, he lova Bataman and Robin, but the keeds ona street maka funna Gimmi, becausa Bataman and Robin were so stupido fagala. So pleasa, when Gimmi become mean, no bea upaset, Gimmi, hasa leetle pee-pee.

Squid McGuffey   Posted - 7 January 2002 10:5��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageTo Mrs. Gimmi

They keep advertising a product on Howard Stern called Longitude. Gimmi should increase by 1" in a month or your money back!

'I got the gas bill!!!'
shemps#1   Posted - 7 January 2002 11:45��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageAlright folks, I will now do what slipp only pretended to do! Ladies and gentlemen, Mrs. Slipp:
Oh Jim! You're the best! I'm still tingling all over! You're better than the Pocket Rocket! Can you pass me one of those Camels?

As soon as she's finished, she's out the door.

A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words.
Squid McGuffey   Posted - 7 January 2002 11:47��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageOh **** Jim, I forgot to take my Valtrex!

'I got the gas bill!!!'
shemps#1   Posted - 7 January 2002 11:49��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messagelol, I never go without protection

A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words.
jamison   Posted - 7 January 2002 13:56��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI tried to keep my mother at bay, but she insisted on chiming in!
Hello, hello? You mean I just type? You know,
I could type up to 70 words a minute when I was going to the Flatbush Secretarial School.
Oh, well I keep telling my son, G--, what do you mean call you Jamison? Who the hell is that? Sonny boy, you're supposed to be working. If you get fired for this nonsense, who's going to send me my weekly money order?
Not that it's THAT much money, mind you. Do you meet girls here? You know, it's way past time you got married. I WANT A GRANDCH---
Thank you, mother.
Giff me dat fill-em!   Posted - 7 January 2002 14:32��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWho am I to stop mommy from posting ...
Hi, you never called me back. I got the pictures back from Christmas. I don't know WHY you wear that earring! If your father was alive, I don't know what he'd say! I was talking to Mrs. Carrelli yesterday, you know Bobby Carrelli was in your grade? He got promoted again in his law firm. He's making $175,000 a year now. Are you on drugs? Why don't you ever call me back? When are you gonna get married, son? Isn't it about time you settled down, and got yourself a wife, and got yourself a house, and got a kid, and got a car, and got a dog, and got a lawnmower, and got a nice picket fence ...
Sorry, that was my answering machine.

"I am a stow-away, and YOU are a stow-away!"
ShempShady   Posted - 7 January 2002 18:39��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI guess it's time for MY MOM to make her appearance:

Ever since he was a little kid, Tony has wasted too much time watching television. I don’t know why he uses a nickname after that Shrimp guy. We used to get his haircut like that other bossy guy, that Mike guy. (I don’t know who those guys are. They’re so stupid.)

And he’s supposed to be so smart, but he always does such stupid things. Like the time he drove a forklift off the loading dock at work, and tried to push it back up. But did you see him on TV.? And did you know that he’s a doctor? No, not the kind like when you get sick. But he’s funny...when he’s not being so stupid. He’s even good enough to be on Johnny Carson right now! I know that Johnny Carson doesn’t have a show anymore, but still.

I have to go. ‘Wheel of Fortune’ is on.
Boa   Posted - 7 January 2002 19:34��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageOh guys! This has me in stitches! ROFLMFAO!


"Cousin Basil! You're even cuter than Aunt Sadie said you were!" - Miss Hopkins
sweet_canadian_girl   Posted - 7 January 2002 19:43��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messagehehe
sickdrjoe   Posted - 7 January 2002 19:54��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageTo anyone leaning towards forgiving Slipp before he starts humping your leg in public. a little primer on that Pathological Liar we all love, from this past September at STOOGEWORLD, at 1:55:05 am on 9/21/01:

The Sayings Of Chairman Slipp
"I've experienced... an overly-harsh and VERY scary dad..."

"So here's...some good things I've experienced: A warm, loving family who's always been behind me 100%..."

"Those Tuesday attackers WERE NOT sent by God. Maybe the non-existant Allah sent them..."

"I have no idea what one word in the Koran tells them to do, or how to live..."

"WHY should we restrict our praise to those who's good deeds can be linked to Tuesday's tragedies?...the praise that I gave Nose and THEN myself CAN be linked to the attrocities because WE didn't quit just because of some foreign idits' grudge against America..."

"You can forget about honoring me- I was actually only kidding when I typed that..."

"YOU'RE the creator of a DOZEN "Robot Gilligan" followers. were so sneaky, so conniving in your ways that you didn't HAVE to say "come join me" or "take my lead", but they do."

"It just goes to show how much he's clouding my mind lately."

". I'm not going to point fingers at ANYONE on this board. I'll believe the one who he/she blames for it is guilty only when I see proof."

"Stooge, I hope you have a good explanation."

"Whatever happened to "biting the tongue"? That question goes out to ALL of you who persecute me in this thread....KNOCK IT OFF!"

"You say you no longer wish to exchange words in this post, sickdrjoe? Maybe you're converting to devout cowardism. That's probably the REAL reason."

and, a triple-header to finish up:
"ONCE AND FOR ALL, I never wanted a thread to be about ME."

"MONTHS before ever hearing the current term, 'Attack On America', there was an 'Attack on ISLIPP'. You, sickdrjoe, have led the charge. So YOU are guilty."

"You're saying that my polls are uninteresting, right? Well take a looky at all the patrons I get. Take a looky at the pats on the back I got from Megaloman and BeJacks."

It's TRUE I promised not to say another word. But I never said I wouldn't pimp-slap you with YOUR words! And what sane, consistent words they are.

Looky all the people laffin' atcha,

Edited by - sickdrjoe on 1/7/2002 7:55:03 PM
curlylk   Posted - 7 January 2002 20:6��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageOK here's my Dad.

What are you doing in the bathroom all day and night? Get out and let someone else use it once and awhile!
What ever happened to Slipp's asking the girl out? There was no update. I wonder who posted bail for him?

metaldams   Posted - 7 January 2002 20:26��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageThis whole thread is priceless, from sicks last post to all the parents visting, this thread is klasseek!
sweet_canadian_girl   Posted - 7 January 2002 21:5��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWow, this is some funny stuff.
NoseHonk   Posted - 7 January 2002 23:2��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageLMAO sdj, that reminds me off a political smear campaign, with every contradictory statement being accompanied by a low piano chord.

Here's one of the 'klaseeeks'! The origin of "FAKE" SLIPP!

Anyone care to go for TOP 5 BESSER SHORTS?

-Topic started by ISLIPP on 12 June 2001 9:1
Posted by Tony - 13 June 2001 1:45
"Actually, MUSCLE UP A LITTLE CLOSER (which was on today) has some funny moments. In particular, I refer to the scene at the shipping plant, involving the 'Matzohs from Japan, just in time for Thanksgiving' and the
clean-up of the eggs."
Posted by ISLIPP - 13 June 2001 7:50

"Actually Tony, they said "matza" which is a kind of wafer used in their Passover meals. I know they said Thanksgiving, but it was probably an intentional gag.

ISLIPP™- you FLIPP ®2001"
Posted by sickdrjoe - 13 June 2001 9:8

"Once again, Slipp, your cluelessness astounds me. It's 'matzoh', not 'matza'. Although I wonder if you're not 'matto' myself."
Posted - 13 June 2001 11:53

"I'm not Jewish, sickdrjoe (I meant to say JEWISH Passover meals). so I can get off on that mispelling. I saw a demonstration of what the meal like earlier this year. YOU are starting to tick me off, little man. I oughtta call a pest control service. They probably wouldn't charge me a penny.

Posted by sickdrjoe - 13 June 2001 12:19
"I'll bypass that 'little man' crack since I know you're 5'3", and it's not my intention to bully you, or anybody. But you chose to 'correct' Tony's already-correct spelling, which is pretty humorous. (By the way, I'm not Jewish either, but I don't see why Jews should be precluded from celebrating Thanksgiving.) And you ARE pretty clueless, Slipp; for a guy who's close to 30 years old, you come off like a 12-year-old most of the time. That's not a reason to dislike you by any means, but what irritates me is your smug attitude of holier-than-thou, and your condescension. It's usually good for a laugh but it can get annoying at times. And
careful calling pest control - after five minutes of listening to your drivel, they might decide to DDT YOUR ass instead. Sorry if this all sounds a little harsh, but after getting dive-bombed by that Chicolini character the other day, my Irish is up. (And I ain't Irish neither!)"
Posted by ISLIPP - 15 June 2001 15:43

"YOUR Irish is up? HOLIER THAN THOU? "Little man" wasn't referring to physical size. You certainly don't know how to read people, do you? Do yourself a favor and get some lessons in tact, buddy. Also enroll in "Reading People 101" for remedials, the same level as your tact lessons."

ISLIPP?- don't be such a DRIPP! ®2001
Posted by StevieKay- 14 June 2001 5:31

"As to the Matzos/Matzohs controversy, I was going to respond. However, upon reflection, I have decided to passover this question."
Posted by ISLIPP - 14 June 2001 9:5
"Giggle, giggle Steviekay! By the way, for anyone that really cares anymore, I looked it up. The spelling is: Matzah. So the humor sickdrjoe finds in my spelling error is unfounded- and moreover, it stinks.

ISLIPP™- you SLAPP. ®2001"
Posted by sickdrjoe - 14 June 2001 9:27
Giggle, giggle - wrong AGAIN, Slipp. It's 'matzo' or 'matzoh'. But there's no mistaking the spelling of the word that describes you: it's 'twit'.
sdj announces a sabbatical from the forum
Posted by ISLIPP - 14 June 2001 10:41
"Taking a sabatical, eh sickdrjoe? I said I looked it up (World Book Encyclopedia.) Wise up your twittiness.

ISLIPP- don't be a DRIPP! ®2001"
Posted by Tony - 14 June 2001 16:49
"...the correct spelling is 'sabbatical,' a word having the same ancestry as 'sabbath...'"

Ladies, Gentelmen, you have just relived the piolt episode of The Madness of Ding (bat) Slipp. I hope you enjoyed.
metaldams   Posted - 7 January 2002 23:22��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageYou're a GOD Honk. I was looking all over for that post. I believe, as you stated, that started this whole thing, in public anyway.

metaldams   Posted - 8 January 2002 0:32��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageBump
metaldams   Posted - 8 January 2002 0:38��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageBump :b
metaldams   Posted - 8 January 2002 0:49��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageBump
ShempShady   Posted - 8 January 2002 1:3��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageScrutiny!
bruckman   Posted - 8 January 2002 3:2��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageThis is from my mother, Mrs. Bruckman.


Hello, I am a 72 year old woman who lives with a man and a greyhound. I would like to apologize for my son Bruckman whom we affectionately call "Clyde" or "Matilda" when he isn't around. He has been posting here nearly a year and I feel he has become an imposition on all of you. It is a well known fact Clyde has been on the juice for a long time. We have warned him about the dangerous side effects of steroid abuse but he doesn't seem to listen. I'm afraid he'll break a needle off in his a** some day. He had the cutest little buns when he was a baby and now look at him just a scarred-up oversized buffoon who flies into a rage every time someone leaves the lid off the protein pwder. Just the other day he was calling me up and saying "But Ma, just 2 grand otherwise I'll have to order that D-ball from Mexico and you know they always cut the stuff with salad oil. Just 2 grand that's all I'm askin'. It's snowing here." I don't know if he thinks he's Flex Wheeler or Eric Bergoust and anyway you can see it isn't snowing, it's 82 here. I don't know what he expects to accomplish with all this treeplanting. The pay sucks and as far as I care they can burn every forest in the world and pave them for easier parking. Now if you could all convince him that pumping himself full of anabolics is bad for his health I would be ever so grateful. I would say more, but I'm leaving on a round the world cruise aboard the SS Navigator in a few hours. Thank you ever so much and remember to walk in truth and light,

Your confidante,
Mrs Bruckman.

Edited by - bruckman on 1/8/2002 3:06:35 AM
ShempShady   Posted - 8 January 2002 4:21��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Message<<<<<ISLIPP Posted - 8 January 2002 3:51

Oh, what goofbals you guys are! Mistaking me for "The Newbie Gang"? I said I was through with aliases after "False ISLIPP" and I meant it.

An now I'm attacked by ANOTHER newcomer. Well screw it. I'm going to cancel my attempts at proving myself and am REALLY leaving FOR GOOD. You all can take this forum and shove it.>>>>>
bruckman   Posted - 8 January 2002 4:46��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageTony's right, the Seven Faces of Dr Lao-slipp are a metafictionist's dream [or nightmare]. Any minute now Rod Serling is going to step out from behind the drapes. "You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Byond it is another dimension....There's a signpost up ahead; you have just crossed over into..."; well, you get the picture.

"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!"

Edited by - bruckman on 1/8/2002 4:47:26 AM
sweet_canadian_girl   Posted - 8 January 2002 10:52��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messagelmao! You've already heard from my mom. PLEASE don't make my dad come here!

"Its is aBooT PRIDE!!! It is ABOOOT zee molecular structure of SPAM!!!!"
sickdrjoe   Posted - 8 January 2002 11:3��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Message"I'm going to cancel my attempts at proving myself and am REALLY leaving FOR GOOD. You all can take this forum and shove it." -8 January 2002 4:21

That's, what - six, seven hours so far, right?

Ok, the official Vegas-book under/over is:

7:30 am EST tomorrow morning (Wed, Jan 9th)

Odds he'll sneak-post under another user-id:

3-5 (bet $100 to win $60)

No exacta, quinnella or trifecta wagering (one horse race)
Field Marshal CurlyQ   Posted - 8 January 2002 11:28��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageI had to be gone for the last two or three weeks, didn't I? I always miss out on the good stuff.
NoseHonk   Posted - 11 January 2002 0:30��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageTHE FORUM'S FUNNIEST MOMENT:

if the demands are not met 13 hours and 40 minutes from now, more than a half dozen opf the most frequent posters shall walk out, dragging their butts across the carpet. C3 will triumphantly say "I DON'T CARE!", yet coming to the reality of what just happened brings a single collective tear in the eyes of C3, while our boys upstairs high five each other.
curly_cue12   Posted - 14 January 2002 14:46��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageSo sickdrjoe,a post like that huh?
eat this.
my reply:
if you reached into your pants to season your food,you would have to grab a magnifying
glass and some tweezers.
curly_cue12   Posted - 14 January 2002 14:54��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messagethis is from my mom.
hello,i am bills mom.
i am also pulling him from the board,
be cause i am afraid that he will beat the living daylights out of morons like slipp.
he is such a moron,and he still lives in my house,and has a dog colar and a leash on.
he is being stuffed into a box and shipped of to jhong jhemen in commie china.
say toodle loo.

i am sorry, i had to use a mp5 to get out of that cardboard box with all those guards.
i had to take my mom captive,and i am demanding a ransom of 100,000 dollars,so i can buy all the 25 cent ice cream cones i want!! [maniacal laughter]
i am the boss now!!!
lets see,
one two three oleery........
curly_cue12   Posted - 14 January 2002 15:1��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Messagethe funniest moment:
we demand that you give back the 60 shorts.
if THESE demands are not met,within about
two days[smooth it out about a fortnight]
then 3 regulars in this board will dress as the stooges heirs,walk into the c3 office and
say "blow out your brains."
c3 will say "but mine fuhrer,we are c3,we have no brains"
bye bye.
cops are coming and surrounding my house.
morty   Posted - 14 January 2002 23:24��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit Message��My favorite "forum moment" was when Morty came back for a special, one-time-only, guest appearance to slam SLIPP.

Back during the summer, Hammond treated us all to a transcript of Mike Douglas interviewing Moe. It was pretty thorough & must have taken a lot of time to transcribe. Hammond was deservedly praised for his efforts by everyone...except SLIPP. SLIPP took it upon himself to instruct Hammond on the proper way to "describe visuals." He wanted Hammond to detail the lighting!...the camera angles!...and whether or not Mike & Moe looked comfortable on the set!!!

The days that followed saw what amounted to a gargantuan dogpile on SLIPP as he was rightfully ridiculed for his latest display of banality.


chicolini   Posted - 15 January 2002 12:47��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageWha hoppen my post?
curly_cue12   Posted - 25 January 2002 15:41��Show Profile��Email Poster��Edit MessageBump

General Discussion / Tim Thomas Snubs White House
« on: January 23, 2012, 11:30:19 PM »
Boston Bruins goalie Tim Thomas on snubbing the White House Stanley Cup photo-op:

Quote from: Tim Thomas on Facebook
I believe the Federal government has grown out of control, threatening the Rights, Liberties, and Property of the People. This is being done at the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial level. This is in direct opposition to the Constitution and the Founding Fathers vision for the Federal government. Because I believe this, today I exercised my right as a Free Citizen, and did not visit the White House. This was not about politics or party, as in my opinion both parties are responsible for the situation we are in as a country. This was about a choice I had to make as an INDIVIDUAL. This is the only public statement I will be making on this topic. TT

I personally want to thank Tim not only for his excellent play on the ice but for his courage to stand up for his beliefs and say what many people (myself included) have been thinking for years. He's been catching a lot of shit from a lot of sheep over this, I just wanted to give respect where it is due.

Youtube and Google Videos / Imagine Cee Lo Green
« on: January 04, 2012, 10:33:17 AM »
Here is a youtube video of "Fuck You" Cee Lo Green performing John Lennon's "Imagine" with altered lyrics. Below I have included a blog post I have written where I make my case why Mr. Green should not have performed the song at all. Excuse the quality of the video, the person just pointed their camera at their TV.

What Not To Do When Covering Someone Else's Song (my journey from anger to just plain ol' disgust)

The first major controversy of 2012 has involved a man who has been dead for a little over 31 years. Like his music or not, the late John Lennon is one of (if not THE) biggest names in the history of Rock Music. From his days with the Beatles to his days fighting for a US Green Card to his murder his music has been beloved and cherished by countless millions. One Cee Lo Green, a current day artist who is best known for his song "Fuck You", covered what is perhaps Lennon's most popular song, Imagine, during a televised New Year's Eve broadcast from Times Square. The controversy isn't that he covered the song at all (Imagine is one of the most covered songs of all time) it's that he changed the line "and no religion too" to "and all religion's true".

My initial reaction when reading about this story on the Internet (I did not see it live as I would rather have my balls tasered than watch a New Year's Eve countdown show) was "who is Cee Lo Green?" You see, anyone who knows me can tell you even though I am still relatively young at the age of 34 I am not up on current music. I became a hardcore Beatles/Lennon fan in my teens when most of my contemporaries were listening to the likes of Nirvana and Pearl Jam, and from there my love of the "oldies" grew. I have since come to appreciate and even like some of the music of my generation, but back in the 90's if it wasn't from the 60's or 70's I didn't even bother to listen to it.

Upon researching Mr. Green and learning that his "great musical contribution" is a rather lame song in which he warbles "Fuck You", I have to admit: I was pissed off. "What gives this fat fuck the right to completely alter one of the greatest songs ever written"? I said to myself. Amongst the comments sections on various articles on the subject I saw lots of outrage and some that felt the need to defend Cee Lo. I thought I would first address some of the most common defenses first.

The Race Card. Boo...bad...don't use it because it doesn't apply and quite frankly it is rather vile to pull the Race Card when Race has nothing to do with it. "Would there be so much outrage if Cee Lo were white?" Yes there sure as hell would. Teeny bopper and waste of molecules Justin Beiber performed a cover of Beatles hit Let It Be on the same show (which was written by Paul McCartney); if he had drastically altered the song's lyrics he would have caught just as much shit as Green did for Imagine. This is John Lennon we are talking about; a man who's music has outlived him and will outlive us all. As someone said "it's like drawing dicks on the Mona Lisa".

Another defense I have seen is "it's just a song, get over it". Imagine sure enough is a song, but it is not "just a song". It's a song that's been around since before myself and Mr. Green were even born and is probably even more popular today than it was back when it was first released in 1971. It is one of the very few post-Beatles solo efforts that most would agree can hang toe to toe with the best of the group's canon.

Yoko Ono, John Lennon's widow and head of Estate, has stated that the most common request she gets from artists is to cover Imagine and alter the "And no religion too" lyric. You do not need an artist's permission to record a cover of a song of theirs, but you do need permission to change lyrics. Each and every request has been denied by Widow Lennon. Say what you will about Yoko, but I think if anyone would know what John would want it would be her.

I am not against artist's covering another artist's song, or even changing a lyric: but doing so requires surgical precision and even a bit of "musical clout". Towards the end of life Johnny Cash covered the Nine Inch Nails song Hurt. He changed the line "I wear this crown of shit" to "I wear this crown of thorns". This was absolutely fine. First off, he's Johnny Fuckin' Cash. Trent Reznor should have been honored that the legendary Man In Black covered his song (and Reznor of course was). Second, changing "shit" to "thorns" does not  drastically or dramatically alter the original artists message or intent. The integrity of Reznor's message is still very much intact, and coming from a legendary figure near the end of his life Cash brought a different angle or spin to the song. I love both versions of Hurt (it's a great song) but if I had to choose I would pick the Cash version. It's not a big deal if the Man In Black didn't want to sing the word "shit".

Cee Lo changing the lyric "And no religion too" to "And All religion's true" is a drastically different story. Imagine is an atheistic manifesto of a ballad in which John asked the listener to imagine no Heaven or Hell as well as no religion. He saw religion as divisive and had very much been against organized religion his entire career. Imagine is one of a handful of songs in which he tackles religion, and it's never positive when he does. Listen to the song God, in which, along with Beatles themselves, he lists a menagerie of things he did not believe in which included all of the major organized religions. In Serve Yourself, the title a parody of Bob Dylan's You Gotta Serve Somebody he mocks Dylan's conversion to Christianity and as the British would say "takes the piss out of" Dylan and piousness in general.

We of course cannot ask a man who has been dead for 31 years what he thinks of the performance, but all of the evidence sure does point to Lennon not appreciating it. Artists need to realize that when you cover a song said song is not yours. It belongs to the original artist. When you say to yourself "I love that song Imagine except for that part about no religion" you have to understand that you have to take the song "warts and all". Especially when tackling a song from a legend who still has millions of fans and will continue to gain millions of fans long after you are forgotten you should tread lightly. If you don't want to sing the line "And no religion too" because you are religious then don't sing the fucking song. Especially you, Mr. "Fuck You". In fact I would very appreciative if the lame, vacuous musicians of today would do the world a favor and leave the work of Lennon and the Beatles alone. These songs have been covered ad nauseum and the overwhelming majority of these covers have been awful.

Am I personally angry that Green altered the lyric to Imagine? Not anymore. His rendition is not even the worst cover of a Lennon tune I have heard (that dishonor would go to Melissa Etheridge's cover of Happy Xmas (War Is Over) in which she managed to change a somber, introspective song looking at all the tragedy in the world during the holidays into something more cheerful because she felt the song was "too sad"). It's even funny to see this rotund gentleman waddle and warble on about "Imagine no possessions" while decked out in a fur coat and bling. It's as if he's saying "YOU Imagine no possessions, not me though!" I am however annoyed, so I'll just roll my eyes and move on, looking forward to the day when someone asks me "remember Cee Lo Green?" and I reply "Vaguely, wasn't he the Creatard who had that Fuck You song and butchered Imagine?"

General Discussion / "Smokin" Joe Frazier - 67
« on: November 07, 2011, 10:22:37 PM »
I just heard during Monday Night Football that former Heavyweight Champion Joe Frazier - one half of the greatest boxing rivalry ever with Muhammad Ali - has died of complications due to liver cancer at the age of 67. I am too young to have seen Frazier fight first hand, but as a fan of the Sweet Science who has seen a few of his fights after the fact he was one of the toughest men to ever step into the ring. I have yet to find an article about it online but when I do I'll post it here.

Youtube and Google Videos / Crappy and Forgotten Cartoons
« on: September 25, 2011, 03:02:38 AM »
You know what this site needs? An homage to cartoons that were absolutely terrible and have become curios, that's what!

I'll start it off with Hammerman, a 1991 Saturday Morning cartoon based on M.C. Hammer, the first rap megastar. You see, a man named Stanley was given a pair of magical living and talking shoes and transformed into the superhero Hammerman! It's a wonder this show only lasted 13 episodes! Here's one of those episodes, entitled "Rapoleon".

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