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Author Topic: #1: Huey Lewis and the News  (Read 4285 times)

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Offline shemps#1

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#1: Huey Lewis and the News
« on: December 01, 2004, 03:27:40 PM »
First off, I would like to welcome you to the first installment of Music That Sucks. Each installment will feature a musician, group, or overall genre that, well...sucks.

Note that entrants in Music That Sucks are the correct opinion of the author.

Male vagina Hugh Cregg III was unleashed by his parents onto the world in 1950. As a young adult, Hugh (Huey) learned how to crappily play the harmonica and fancied himself a blues mucisian. Real blues mucisians laughed at Huey (dubbed "our biggest mistake" by his parents), due to the fact that he is and was beyond white and wouldn't know real blues if it anally raped him. After stints in many a lousy and forgetable "blues" band, Huey fronted a band named Huey Lewis and the American Express (whose motto was "Don't leave home without our album; especially if you are on your way to the local landfill"). The name would be later changed to a name that sends shivers down the backs of anyone with good taste: Huey Lewis and the News.

1980 saw HLN's self-titled debut album. It tanked as it should have, but this being the 1980's (a decade that didn't account for good taste) HLN would get another shot. Their sophomore effort Picture This faired better, with a top ten hit "Do You Believe In Love". It wasn't until their third album Sports that the venerial disease known as Huey Lewis and the News would spread faster than AIDS at Studio 54.

Sports featured the mind numbingly tedious melodies and moronic lyrics that would become an HLN trademark. Fecal matter for the eardrums abound with such diarreah like "I Want a New Drug", "Heart of Rock and Roll", and "If This Is It" proved to the world that you can have an all-male band with 5 or 6 members yet have less testosterone than a douche commercial. Sports wound up going multi-platinum, and the true heart of Rock and Roll stopped pumping.

The biggest abomination was to come in 1986 however, with the release of Fore!. Listening to any song from Fore! makes one long for a urinary tract infection. If lousy numbers such as "Doing It All For My Baby", and "Hip To Be Square" weren't bad enough, one of the worst songs of all time "Stuck With You" was birthed from this album in a more gruesome fashion than the baby in "It's Alive!". People would eventually snap out of the hypnotic trance and realize that this group sucks, as none of their later albums would cause a stir.

Huey would make appearances on the big screen, such as a cameo in Back To The Future. The worst of these movies would be Duets, in which he and Gwenyth Paltrow would suck all of the soul out of an old Smokey Robinson tune "Cruisin"; his best appearance was in the movie Dead Husbands in which he was killed during the opening credits.

HLN is unabashedly Pop without so much as an inkling of Rock in their bones. This group should be avoided like Micheal Jackson at a preschool, and is as deep as a puddle on the floor left by an old man's dripping penis. Huey Lewis and the News: Music...That Sucks!

Thanks (for nothing) to hln.org for the particulars and for keeping the legacy of these bitches alive.
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish." - Unknown

Offline vomit

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Re: #1: Huey Lewis and the News
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2011, 02:09:54 AM »

Sports featured the mind numbingly tedious melodies and moronic lyrics that would become an HLN trademark. Fecal matter for the eardrums abound with such diarreah like "I Want a New Drug", "Heart of Rock and Roll", and "If This Is It" proved to the world that you can have an all-male band with 5 or 6 members yet have less testosterone than a douche commercial. Sports wound up going multi-platinum, and the true heart of Rock and Roll stopped pumping.


You could NOT get away from this album in 1984!  Radio & MtV kept this rancid pile of fly-blown vomit squarely in front of our collective pieholes!  I had a "friend" who insisted on playing this album all the time.  Is it any wonder I came to love Maiden, Motorhead & the Doors? 

I shudder to think back to that summer when this album was haunting my very life!  Great start-out Shemps#1!
Specto Caelum!

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Re: #1: Huey Lewis and the News
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2011, 09:03:50 AM »
Ouch! Reading this thread is painful. While I'm not a big fan of Huey Lewis and News, their albums "Sports" and "Fore" contains a lot of their greatest hits and I think some of their hits are rather enjoyable. To each his own.

Offline Curly4444

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Re: #1: Huey Lewis and the News
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2011, 09:10:29 AM »
Ouch! Reading this thread is painful. While I'm not a big fan of Huey Lewis and News, their albums "Sports" and "Fore" contains a lot of their greatest hits and I think some of their hits are rather enjoyable. To each his own.

I hear-ya,  i loved Huey Lewis and the News. But hey it's pop and were not suppose to like it. /sarcasm.

Offline shemps#1

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Re: #1: Huey Lewis and the News
« Reply #4 on: August 07, 2011, 07:20:36 PM »
I hear-ya,  i loved Huey Lewis and the News. But hey it's pop and were not suppose to like it. /sarcasm.

There can be good Pop music, Huey Lewis was not it.
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish." - Unknown

Offline Curly4444

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Re: #1: Huey Lewis and the News
« Reply #5 on: August 08, 2011, 12:48:43 AM »
There can be good Pop music, Huey Lewis was not it.

I don't agree, but that's cool. I guess we can agree to dis-agree. I liked them. Didn't like all their stuff, mainly just  liked the sports album.

Offline Slowpokee

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Re: #1: Huey Lewis and the News
« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2016, 08:32:40 AM »
I know this is an old thread. However I couldn't agree more with your statement! I heard this awful excuse of music in the grocery store yesterday and completely forgot the level of suck HLN is. In the short period of ear torture, I felt suicidal, angry, depressed, sad, frustrated and then thoughts of going postal.

I suspect the CIA would use this album as a former of torture.

Offline vomit

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Re: #1: Huey Lewis and the News
« Reply #7 on: February 25, 2017, 03:54:25 PM »
I know this is an old thread. However I couldn't agree more with your statement! I heard this awful excuse of music in the grocery store yesterday and completely forgot the level of suck HLN is. In the short period of ear torture, I felt suicidal, angry, depressed, sad, frustrated and then thoughts of going postal.

I suspect the CIA would use this album as a former of torture.

Preach on Brother! We need to revive this thread.
Specto Caelum!

Offline stoogerascalfan62

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Re: #1: Huey Lewis and the News
« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2017, 01:46:17 PM »
One HLN song I admit to liking is Heart And Soul.

Offline Umbrella Sam

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Re: #1: Huey Lewis and the News
« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2017, 04:46:45 PM »
I like "The Power of Love," although part of that may be influenced by the fact that I've seen Back to the Future so many times and have therefore listened to this song a lot.