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ISLIPP Klasseeek: "My S-A!"
« on: August 18, 2006, 11:37:19 PM »
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 205
(7/3/02 3:27)
Reply  My S-A!
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 Title: Sing IT- you might be able to!

I remember a Coca-Cola commercial from the early 1980's that might actualy have been brought back from the early '70's. It featured the song, "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing (In Perfect Harmony)." Neither the song, nor the commercial meant anywhere near as much to me as the product they were advertising, but the tune was catchy enough that I found myelf humming it from time to time ever since. In my formal singing lessons last year, I was reintroduced to the song. I realized that it now had some personal meaning to me.

From my early childhood on, I gradually learned more and more about different styles and levels of singing (By "levels" I mean soprano, alto, tenor and bass). In addition to formal singing lessons, I'm in my 10th year of being in choirs, quartets, trios, duets and solos. I've spent a lot of my life dreaming, imagining, thinking about and planning music-related scenarios. I now feel that I have a good enough handle on the subject to be able to successfully help people who don't think they can sing.

There is one poster on these boards who said that he used to sing well before his voice changed. According to him, once he hit puberty, his voice was ruined. I believe that if he could sing then, he could sing now. Puberty does not destroy singing voices (I'm living proof), but it can drastically change hte level at which you can sing.

Young, pre-pubescent boys who aren't in famous choirs are often catagorized as tenors in their church's choir. Elementary schools choirs aren't divided into sections- every member sings melody.

Therefore, when this board member's voice changed, he was probably still either trying to sing tenor or the melodies that extend outside his vocal range. I would advise this person to find out what his vocal range is, then try singing some songs that were written in a key that corresponds with his range.

To find out what your range is, here's what to do: Sit down in front of a piano and press a middle key. Try to imitate the sound it makes. Then move your finger either way, whichever direction you're comfortable with, trying to imitate the sounds each key makes. The keys that you sound the best imitating represent your range.

When you have done this, tackle any song that you can think of at random. If you can't sing it well the first time, try starting one octave (eight notes) lower or higher than you did at first. This board member may actually have a good bass or tenor voice if he's no good at baritone (a level between bass and tenor). He may even have a good falsetto (the highest level of singing for men) voice without even realizing it! Of course, after many years of not singing, you can actually lose your ability to do so. Don't let that fact make you want to give up, because you never know what you can do until you try,
Here are some other things to consider:

Fortissimo (loud vocal volume)- For some people, singing and even talking loudly comes naturally and it makes their singing voices sound terrible. Try toningyour volume down before giving up on your singing voice altogether.

Too soon after waking- I don't know how this effects females, but male voices are often deeper and gravely after waking up. Give it a few hours, then try to sing again.

Illness- There are lots of diseases, disorders and symptoms of such that can have negative effects on your voice. Laryngitis is a commonly known one, but a bout with the flu or a cold can make the voice sound terrible and actually bring on laryngitis or symptoms of the disorder. Even a slight sore throat can throw your voice off. Throat cancer can also occur. Elton John had it, but overcame it and continued singing. His voice was a little lower than before, but just as good as ever. There are also types of allergies that can affect the voice. If you have any symptoms of illness or allergy, give yourself some time to recuperate
before you try to sing again.

Strain- If you do lots of screaming, yelling or throat clearing, you can strain the vocal cords and the larynx and wear them out. Again, a few hours of recuperation can do wonders for your singing voice. If your voice is strained, refrain from using it as much as possible until it sounds normal again.

Uncontrolled breathing- You may often run out of breath to soon and your singing may start to sound like you are straining to hit the notes. The proper method of breathing for singg is to breathe from the diaphragm. To do this, slowly suck in your belly while refraining from lifting your shoulders. It's natural to lift your shoulders when you breathe, but not good for diaphragm breathing. If you inhale enough oxygen before you sing each line of a song, your voice won't sound strained.

Low resonance- Resonance is the intensification and enrichment of a musical tone by supplementary vibration. It's a naturally occuring thing, which can't be directly controlled by the singer. But to allow for good resonance, simply relax your throat muscles. It will automatically open your throat to its widest possible diameter.

Climate/high altitudes- These things have been known to affect one's singing voice, but since I have little or no experience with these condiions, I'm unable to elaborate.

Tone deafness- Most people who are tone deaf don't even realize it. A specific note may be played, but they hear a totally different note and imitate what they hear. most if not all tone-deaf people are hopeless.

And finally...

High expectations- Lots of people try to imitate styles that they are unsuited or untrained for. Opera is a common example. It takes many years of pratice with specially qualified instructors to be able to sing opera, yet there are people who start out trying to sing in this style, notice how bad they are and say they can't sing. Most rock singers can't sing opera but they came to be successful anyway.

If I could actualy read music and play my intsruments well enough, I would consider this a calling and study to become a certified voice instructor, but if what I already know can help people and I don't care that I'm not making any money doing it, I'll be fine. I think there will be enough of a reward in seeing the happiness in those I've helped.

"I'd like to teach the world to sing
in perfect harmony.
I'd like to hold it in my arms
and keep it company.

I'd like to see the world for once
All standing hand in hand
And hear them echo through the hills
For peace throughout the land."

 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 88
(7/3/02 7:45)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Gentlemen, get your red markers ready!
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 89
(7/3/02 8:19)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
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 Now for my critique:

I'll try to keep it short and and sweet since I just got off work and I'm tired. As far as sentences tructure is concerned, it is sub-par. There are WAY too many commas; commas where semi-colons should be, commas where nothing is needed, and commas in the wrong place.

Examples of bad sentence structure:

"In my formal singing lessons last year, I was reintroduced to the song. I realized that it now had some personal meaning to me."

These are two choppy sentences that can easily become one. The comma in the first sentence is unnecessary as well.

You could change it to:

"In my formal singing lessons last year I was reintroduced to the song, and realized that it now had some personal meaning to me."

A semi-colon might be better there, but like I said; I'm tired.

There are too many errors in sentence structure for me to go through them all at this time; someone else might do the honors.


"I've spent a lot of my life dreaming, imagining, thinking about and planning music-related scenarios."

This sentence could use an "and" before the word "thinking".

There are also spelling errors that are scattered throughout (singg), but not too many. Still, a teacher would mark you off for those; you should have proofread and edited accordingly.

As for the content of the essay, it is rather dull. I'm sure that most people would have tuned out after the third paragraph. Also, you come off as full of yourself.

That's about it for now, if I were a teacher grading this essay I'd give you an F in structure (not because it's you specifically, but because it really is bad) and somewhere in the range of C-/D+ in content.

Overall: F, it looks like a first draft thrown together at the last minute.


"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya

Edited by: shempisnumberone   at: 7/3/02 8:23:38 am
 
sickdrjoe
Registered User
Posts: 352
(7/3/02 8:33)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
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 You mean after all these years of singing lessons you're just getting around to 25-year-old advertising jingles?

Well, shee-it and gnaborretni besides!

Parts of this read like they were lifted from the "So You Want To Sing" orientation pamphlet they hand out on the first day of choir tryouts at Chez Hagee. But who knows? The only problem,which I see Jamison walking right into, by the way (as Mike Holme will tell you, if there's two things liberals have been repeatedly observed doing, it's calling conservatives Nazis, of course, and grading on a curve) is that 'aww, shucks, the little fellow's really trying....let's give him a higher grade than I'd ever give this had it had NO name on it' kinda thing.

Which I gotta add I'm tempted to do myself. So let's NOT say "hey, look at Slipp - he's barely competent! Well, dog my cats!"...and instead judge him based on "he's 28, announced his dream is to be a writer, has claimed to have studied writing long enough to know most of the ins and outs of it by now, and has had a week to prepare this". Let's give him a C minus leaning towards a C.

I would say that he has succeeded best in communicating information. His bright shining moment here is his clear and helpful description of how one sings from the diaphragm. Now I must add that these explicitly illustrated tips seem to have been cribbed from another source, but let's give Eric The Dead the benefit of the doubt, and accept this as 100% original. There is some useful information here which has been adequately delivered to the reader.

As for style, there is none. This is written like a fifth-grade book report, with one eye firmly fixed on polishing Teacher's apple. I could see coming across something like this as a filler item in a small-town pennysaver, but that's about it.
His first two paragraphs are blather that could have been reduced to two effective sentences: "In addition to formal singing lessons, I'm in my 10th year of being in choirs, quartets, trios, duets and solos. I feel I have a good enough handle on the subject to be able to successfully help people who don't think they can sing." The essay is full of similar unnecessary padding. [Hey, I'm MR Unnecessary Padding...but it has to be entertaining. If you're gonna talk to hear yourself talk, make it as painless as possible for the reader - give em jokes, trivia.... something besides teeth-grinding earnestness.]

So...it's passable. At least you accomplished your main objective, which was to offer useful information to the aspiring vocalist. (Incidentally, I pass no judgment on whether any of this is good or even correct advice; I wouldn't know.)

You really really really need to READ more, Slipp. Wait, let me add two more "reallys". You create your own 'voice' by absorbing & copying others and writing a real whole lot until what emerges is a blend of what you've been influenced by and your own words, churned together like butter & inseparable: an actual style. Here, you're not even close. Start reading the kind of books you've been avoiding all your life and pour as many different prose styles, points of view & types of subject matter as possible into your head, and your word-hole will thank you.



"I look at you, bless God, and I see money!"

Edited by: sickdrjoe at: 7/3/02 1:14:05 pm
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 43
(7/3/02 9:02)
Reply  Re: My S-A!
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 Really wonderful essay. Well thought out, well constructed
AND rational!!!.............................................I think it's copied straight out of "HIGHLIGHT'S" grad4e school magazine.
 
 
 
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 210
(7/3/02 9:49)
Reply  Re:
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 I hope you'll excuse me if my tone and/or attitude in this post seems innapropriate, but I don't believe you're doing what you should be doing- forgetting that ISLIPP- a person you severely dislike wrote this, and give it a REAL critiquing. (sp?)

So I'm not going to let your negative comments on my writing skills phase me one bit. Some that were constructive, I'll consider, but I know that none of you like me, so most of what you said holds no water.

I have a qualified instructor (which none of you are, which is another reason most of your negative comments hold no water) who has many published works to her name. She has a few good things to say about every assignment I turn in.

And those of you who say I write like a gradeschooler, GET THIS- here is something my instructor for a course in which I'm learning to write for children actually said to me: "Your writing seems to flow on the level of teen or adult readership based on vocabulary, sentence structure and length. I believe you could easily write for adults." Actually, she said this after reviewing one of my fiction assignments. Fiction is my real strong suit, so of course an essay from me wouldn't be as good.

Off the top of my head, I know that I must take Jim's comment about joining 2 sentences to heart. I don't think I have that problem writing fiction.

I'll look for more comments that seem constructive and reflect them, but all of you who already commented here- get your acts together and give it that "REAL critiquing" I mentioned above.
 
sickdrjoe
Registered User
Posts: 354
(7/3/02 10:30)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
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 How sad. That WAS a sincere, valid critique. You're paying that 'private, qualified instructor' - correct? In money, yes?

Had I been in my usual mode, I would have fricasseed your bumbling effort with a sentence or two. Instead I.....ecch, never mind. Write on, William Smallspeare!

PS Fiction's your strong suit? Okay...since you've already turned in this assignment (based on the rave review it's already gotten), and you likely have a sync-copy of it on your computer - post it! No muss, no fuss, no I-need-a-week. Let's see ISLIPP at his very best.


"I look at you, bless God, and I see money!"

Edited by: sickdrjoe at: 7/3/02 10:34:14 am
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 91
(7/3/02 10:59)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
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 What the hell was wrong with my critique? I was honest, and did not bring my dislike for you into it. Can someone else please show me how my critique was biased in any way?

What I see here is a guy who was set from minute one to deflect any critism he recieved. If any of us here were critics for the NY Times you would have dismissed any criticism recieved.

If I had praised your essay, would my opinion have held no water with you? Be honest; if you are you'll say that you would have more than gladly except my praise. Doc is right, this is sad.

It was poorly written, anyone could see that.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya

Edited by: shempisnumberone   at: 7/3/02 11:02:11 am
 
Jamison2
Registered User
Posts: 59
(7/3/02 13:08)
Reply  Re: My S-A!
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 Hell, I didn't think Slipp would really make it. Although I'm actually swamped
with real woik, let me throw out a cursory review and I'll try to be more
thorough later:
PROS: Though it's been a long time since I was involved in music, some
of the advice given here does seem to be pertinent and worthwhile. I might even try
some of it to see how it works out.
This is written at a level understandable to young teens or maybe adults
who may have trouble reading or learning. Nothing wrong with that.
CONS: Too many misspellings, run-on sentences and inappropriate punctuation. More proofreading
was needed. A little humor might have enlivened things, too. And maybe you could
actually interviewed a voice teacher or a choir director for "expert" seasoning.
I'll give it a C.
 
sickdrjoe
Registered User
Posts: 355
(7/3/02 13:09)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
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 CAH - mon, Jamison, lower the boom and get this comedy over with!

Some of us have been waitin' hours for the stripper!

Whoops, simultaneous posts!
"We've been on the air a little over two months; and did you know not one person has written in to help us? NOT - ONE!!!"

Edited by: sickdrjoe at: 7/3/02 1:10:39 pm
 
Jamison2
Registered User
Posts: 60
(7/3/02 13:27)
Reply  Re: My S-A!
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 Got to sign off for a while. Before I go, it IS hard to believe that a 28-year-old
wrote this. Or maybe it isn't, considering what Slipp has told us about himself.
But it comes from a very insulated perspective, almost as if he's been living
in some kind of bubble since age 4 or 5. For someone who supposedly
craves being an author, it's like he's never read much of anything, not evne
comic books. But there's an audience for everything, so one day we might
actually see Eric on "The View" hawking a children's book!
But Slipp, I suggest you start reading more than the Bible and religious
tracts. Swift, Homer, Shakespeare, Poe, Melville, Twain, Hemingway,
Ellison, Hughes, Woolf, Wilde, Faulkner, Roth, Tennessee Williams. Even get some
old Marvel comics and bone up on Stan Lee!
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 92
(7/3/02 13:33)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 I hope I get professors like you this coming semester, lol.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
sickdrjoe
Registered User
Posts: 356
(7/3/02 13:41)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
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 Hoo-hooooo!!

Read it and weep, Encyclopaedia Brown!

5 out of 4 critics agree: 'a kid wrote this, right?'

Can't wait to see you do your Cornered Rat mambo on Jamison, now. After all, he didn't pat the point on your head and murmur, " Very good, Eric! Why, with a little .... seasoning and, err, tightening up, you, uhh, could (the check, think about the check) write for, for adults one.......day. Yes. Yes indeed...........Eric, did your mom give you a check for me when she dropped you off today?" like your day-care teacher.
"We've been on the air a little over two months; and did you know not one person has written in to help us? NOT - ONE!!!"
 
2cool247   
Registered User
Posts: 170
(7/3/02 13:56)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
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 Hey Slipp, you're a pretty good writter, for a guy that got shot in the gut, and died.
F.D.N.Y. Stand Back 200 Ft.
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 93
(7/3/02 14:01)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
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 The more I ponder this "mystery expert", the more I think Correspondance By Mail Course.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
 
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 94
(7/3/02 14:27)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
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 After going over my review, I realize I did make one mistake about adding an "and" to a particular sentence, I read it wrong the first time.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 211
(7/3/02 14:32)
Reply  Re:
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 Nothing wrong with a correpondence course, especially when this special school is a coula states away.

Okay, I could've spent A LOT more tme proofreading this- Jamisonm's right on that. I could've added a little humor, but nobody here likes my humor anyway, so what's the use? And no- my essay was not dull or boring- not to people who are interested in singing or that like the old commercial jingle.

So you all thought I was going to be my best here, but I failed at doing my best. I often fail at doing my best, probably out of pure laziness.

I'll tell you what, if your crummy reviews were honest, then they were extremely brutally honest. Maybe I better just keep the writing to myself as a private hobby and persue something else. Maybe someone needs a housekeeper. I can't go wrong doing that.
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 44
(7/3/02 14:36)
Reply  Re: Re:
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 Attention K-MART SHOPPERS........CLEANUP ON AISLE 3

Edited by: Mr weatherbee at: 7/3/02 2:38:50 pm
 
2cool247   
Registered User
Posts: 173
(7/3/02 14:37)
Reply
  Re: Re:
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 "......Maybe someone needs a housekeeper....."
-Islipp

YOU ARE SOOOOOOOO GAY! LMFAO!!!! hahahaha


F.D.N.Y. Stand Back 200 Ft.
 
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 212
(7/3/02 14:43)
Reply  Re:
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 PS: I'll have you guys know that I poured all my heart and soul into that piece, as I do with EVERYTHING I write.

Besides- you were probably comparing my writng skils to those of your favorite authors. I'm practically a beginner. I can't be compared with them. Who do you read anyway? Shakespeare? Tolstoy? That's why I got the bad reviews- how am I supposed to match the greats? Get REAL, people!
 
2cool247   
Registered User
Posts: 174
(7/3/02 14:49)
Reply
  Re: Re:
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 I repeat SLIPP YOU ARE SOOOOOO GAY! lmao
F.D.N.Y. Stand Back 200 Ft.
 
sickdrjoe
Registered User
Posts: 358
(7/3/02 14:52)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
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 ...and after going over my review, I realize I did make one mistake, too, writing a review in the first place.

Love those last three grafs. After admitting he can't read music or hack anything past "Chopsticks" (played pianissimo), he forgives us... for not paying him for this essay!

Like they say on the Ginsu Knife commercials - but, wait, there's MORE! A week after I pointedly point out Slipp's childish love of commercial slogans and jingles, he goes for The Deep Finish by quoting his idea of a 'poem' - lyrics for an old soda-commercial jingle - the way you'd close with a passage from "The Waste Land": for a haunting, resonant effect. Slipp, when does Tor Johnson do his cameo in this movie? (And yet, it's perhaps an Idea Whose Time Has Come. Great Literature Meets Product Placement. And if it does come to pass, who better than Slipp to be its progenitor?)

Slipp, you sly dog! Turns out you're the world's most cunning post-ironic deconstructionalist commentator on the spiritual sterility of modern America after all! And here I thought you were a Jerry's Kid.
"We've been on the air a little over two months; and did you know not one person has written in to help us? NOT - ONE!!!"

Edited by: sickdrjoe at: 7/3/02 3:00:21 pm
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 95
(7/3/02 15:01)
Reply
  Re: Re:
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 Could you not take it so personally? I cannot tell you how many letters of rejection/constructive criticism I have gotten in the past (from actual publishers), and I never once replied "Do you expect me to be Shakesphere?" Here I am trying to be nice to you for a change and honestly critique your work, and what do the likes of Jamison, Doc, and myself get in return? A fuckin temper tamtrum!

If you poured your heart and soul into that piece it doesn't show. When you aren't coming off as full of yourself (I like music and feel I'm qualified to dole out singing advice despite the fact that I am not a qualified teacher. Qualifications-smaulifications!), it feels like something you have to read and find all the errors on a test.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
Jamison2
Registered User
Posts: 61
(7/3/02 15:15)
Reply  Re: My S-A!
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 Oyyyyy!!
Slipp, NO ONE in their right mind expects you to be Dos Passos, or Sidney Sheldon, even. YOU'RE the one who has continually yammered about being
a writer (of fiction, I guess, I never got it straight), but folks who are really
serious about being writers read authors of all stripes to learn something about structure, style
and presenting a viewpoint. You don't even HAVE to read the "masters" if that's going to
be too much of a chore. Read Esquire and GQ to learn how to do profiles. Hell, read
People and US to learn how to do short profiles! Have you ever interviewed anyone
to gain information and perspective on any given subject? That does mean getting into
the real, not VIRTUAL, world and making phone calls, and (God forbid!) maybe even
personal contact, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do...
Oh, and don't say you don't have the money to get ahold of all those magazines
and books you should be reading. I woud assume yer local public library
is well-stocked.

Edited by: Jamison2 at: 7/3/02 3:20:07 pm
 
 
 
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 214
(7/3/02 15:20)
Reply  Re:
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 Jim- I am NOT throwing a temper tantrum and I am NOT full of myself. You gave me an "F". A bigger than life, unmistakable "F". I know I didn't deserve that. How am I supposed to react to something I didn't deserve? My instructor ALWAYS finds a few god things to say about my work. ALWAYS. It's a good thing you aren't a real instructor. You'd probably hand out a compliment the day the crack in the Liberty bell fixes itself.
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 96
(7/3/02 15:28)
Reply
  Re: Re:
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 Oy vey; you wouldn't have deserved an F if you were 15 years old. Even Jamison, who gave you a C, finds it hard to believe a 28yr old wrote it. Your "instructor" holds no water with me! Go to a real school and take a real course.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 97
(7/3/02 15:31)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
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 You want a compliment?!? It was informative, does that make you happy?
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
WrathOfSteve
Registered User
Posts: 54
(7/3/02 15:34)
Reply  Re: Re:
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 Cruisin' down the highway.......
Slipp is in the road.............
Put the pedal to the metal...........
And squash him like a toad.

BURMASHAVE.


This is MY creative writing assignment.
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 47
(7/3/02 15:38)
Reply  Re: My S-A!
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 I'll give him this much, for a non-professional he does at least have the rudimentary knowledge correct. It just seems as if it were being recited though, with no real life , personal experiences musically to back any of it up.
It OK to dream, but GOOD writing COMES from individual, personal experiences, NOT by what a teacher TELLS you.

Just my experience. And this is 2 posts where I've made, nice-nice.
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 98
(7/3/02 15:39)
Reply
  Re: Re:
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 Succinct, humorous, to the point; A+
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 99
(7/3/02 15:45)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
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 "It OK to dream, but GOOD writing COMES from individual, personal experiences, NOT by what a teacher TELLS you."

Are you listening Eric?
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
metaldams1978
Registered User
Posts: 152
(7/3/02 15:46)
Reply  Weatherbee makes an excellent point
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 I agree with Mr. Weatherbee's point about the essay sounding like it had no life experience behind it. It sounded more like an instruction manual than anything with a real sense of personality. SLIPP sounds like he has voice/singing knowledge, but the passion is missing. I've learned that in order to create any great art, whether it be music, painting, clay, literature, etc. one needs life experience, because it is those experiences that inspire one to greatness. A 28 year old who sits around the house all day and feels sorry for himself is not going to have that much worthwhile inside of him or her.
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 100
(7/3/02 15:53)
Reply
  Re: Weatherbee makes an excellent point
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 Watch out Doug, you are gonna get Crybaby Cox on your case for being too hard on him. Remember folks, we unqualified rubes must use the same kid gloves as the Mail Order instructor.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 48
(7/3/02 16:00)
Reply  Re: Weatherbee makes an excellent point
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 I dont agree with Metaldams last line.I think EVERYBODY has a story in them. If you HONESTLY wrote about the pain of being ridiculed,of WHY you SO want to "belong". If you told us, honestly how it makes you feel.........THAT would be interesting, heartfelt, REAL and might actually HUMANIZE you
 
metaldams1978
Registered User
Posts: 153
(7/3/02 16:17)
Reply  RE
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 Geez Weatherbee, what makes YOU qualified to criticize ME! I'm not Shakesphere y'know!

All kidding aside, I understand what you're getting at. Great art is about honest self-expression. It's just that usually, people with lots of different life experiences have a better understanding of the self to honestly express than someone who experiences very little. However, I suppose there are exceptions to the rule.
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 49
(7/3/02 16:38)
Reply  Re: RE
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 Just trying to be "nice" to Slipster. Every dog needs to get petted now & then.

Edited by: Mr weatherbee at: 7/3/02 5:20:14 pm
 
Shemp Shady
Registered User
Posts: 36
(7/3/02 16:58)
Reply  ?????
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 Huh?

Is this ‘Theater of the Absurd’?

After all the $#!+ that SLIPP has posted previously, he finds it apropos to offer a protracted post about one of the most inane and syrupy ads ever to grace the small screen?

SLIPP really does lack a clue. (And he doesn't use the word 'then' enough.)
 
metaldams1978
Registered User
Posts: 155
(7/3/02 17:00)
Reply  RE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Just trying to be "nice" to Slipster. Every dog needs to get petted every now & then."

Don't get too attached. That dog you're petting needs to be put too sleep.
 
Jamison2
Registered User
Posts: 63
(7/3/02 17:04)
Reply  Re: ?????
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 The subject matter was up to him. The only restriction was that it couldn't
be religious proselytizing or the usual back-and-forth prattle.
Did you really think Slipp was going to give his views on WorldCom,
the Middle East, airport security or women's fashions?
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 50
(7/3/02 17:25)
Reply  Re: ?????
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 You know, after re-re-re-reading this stuff, you guy's are right. He is a complete boob, inexperienced, socially inept & totally without a clue. Sorry to give him the benefit of the doubt. I guess I get a little sentimental around the holiday.
And good "JOEBOTS" obey.

Edited by: Mr weatherbee at: 7/3/02 5:28:46 pm
 
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 215
(7/3/02 17:50)
Reply  Re:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 After what I said about formal lessons, choirs, quartest, trios, duets and solos, HOW DARE you tell me I have no life experience? HOW DARE YOU????? 90% of that essay is based on personal experience.

Metal- Did you know who the board member I referred to in the esay was? Did his situation sound stunningly familiar? It should've- it was YOU. I gave you a buttload of advice, and how do you thank me? By continuing on insulting me and belittling my essay? Whatta lowlife you are.

Jim- thanks for the one compliment, but "informative" wasn't the only thing I was going for. I sounded like I knew the subject matter backward and forward (except for the climate/high altitudes deal). You have to admit that. You have to admit that adding the jingle at the end was a nice touch. As my instructor would say, the last paragraph and the jingle was nice because they referred back to the beginning. Why not admit that?

Jamison said that he'd try my advice. Why don't the rest of you? You may surprise yourselves.
 
metaldams1978
Registered User
Posts: 158
(7/3/02 18:01)
Reply  RE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Metal- Did you know who the board member I referred to in the esay was? Did his situation sound stunningly familiar? It should've- it was YOU. I gave you a buttload of advice, and how do you thank me? By continuing on insulting me and belittling my essay? Whatta lowlife you are."

1. I know who you were referring to.
2. I didn't ask for any advice.
3. The criticism was sincere. Just because you give me advice doesn't mean I owe you a positive review. If you were serious about being a writer, you'd take these negative reviews and learn from them instead of taking them personally. As a bass player, I've had jazz instructors tell me I could work on my timing better. Do I throw a hissy-fit and think the guy is wrong? No. Instead, I take out my metronome and practice, or I even get together with the drummer to practice, and guess what, I improved.


 
Sten Erin
Registered User
Posts: 22
(7/3/02 18:04)
Reply
  Re: RE
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 "I sounded like I knew the subject matter backward and forward..."

No, you SOUNDED like you’d just copied and pasted a few points from a hospital waiting room brochure called "Singing For Asthmatics", and changed a few of the words around to make everything bland and vaguely off… y’know, your USUAL writing style. You read like a bad Systran translation of a bunch of language-specific idioms.

It’s also hilarious that a guy who admittedly knows nothing about music save what he gleaned from a few singing lessons last year and years of singing hymns in church would write an article from such a patronizing viewpoint… and then denigrate his critics for not being “qualified instructors” fit to lay eyes upon this, er, inimitably written “S-A.” According to your own logic, Slipp, YOU weren’t fit to write this article, because YOU are not a “qualified instructor” of singing.

My review and grade are coming up

 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 51
(7/3/02 18:25)
Reply  Re: Re:
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 Ill tell you "HOW I DARE", ERIC!!!!!!
I am a PROFESSIONAL ACTOR. I study with Betty Buckley (Tony Award Winner for Cats, Nominee for Edwin Drood,Abby on 8 Is Enough), work extensively Off Broadway (just finished a production of Weill's musical "Happy End").This DOESNT make me an expert, but perhaps I am MORE INFORMED than you? Someone having MORE EXPERIENCE than you isn't a personal challenge. It originally wasn't even presented as one. But.......once again, you take critism like a white glove slap across the face.
Your "being in a choir/duet/whatever is terrific. I applaud you finding something you love. We merely said your WRITING lacks passion. If you put that in your writing, perhaps it might be different.

Edited by: Mr weatherbee at: 7/3/02 6:40:04 pm
 
Jamison2
Registered User
Posts: 66
(7/3/02 18:31)
Reply  Re: Re:
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 I guess the next step is to have Slipp download an audio cut of him crooning.
"Copacabana," anyone?
 
 
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 53
(7/3/02 18:34)
Reply  Re: Re:
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 "Musscrat Love"......it just FEELS......right
 
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 217
(7/3/02 18:36)
Reply  Re:
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 Stench- Don't say I know nothing about music after all I printed in that essasy. I've absorbed A LOT of information throughout my whole life. So what if I don't have a freakin' degree to back it up? Do writers who do articles on different species of animal have to be zoologists, even though they may have raised the animals themselves? Do writers who do articles on the wacky weather of Michigan have to live there if they just visit often?

I didn't lift any of that from ANY stupid manual. It's all from my own head. If it's patronizing, it's only because you all keep coming to it!

Finally, excuse ME for getting all pi**ed off afer seeing Jim's first post, filled with nothing but negativity and a horribly undeserved grade of "F". DrJoe's first post was terrible. He only upped the grade (by a little bit) from what Jim gave me out of SYMPATHY. Mr. Weathsfield had nothing nice to say. Nobody did (except for Jamison saying 1 or 2 things) until Jim amitted it was informative. Even someone who's highly unpopular needs an occassioal pat on the back and a word of support. Me- I'd go out of my way to make a highly unpopular person feel good about themselves and encourage them after receiving such constant bashing. That's just the kind of person I am.
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 55
(7/3/02 18:42)
Reply  Re: Re:
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 Naaahhhh...........................IT"S TOO EASY!!!!!
 
Sten Erin
Registered User
Posts: 24
(7/3/02 18:47)
Reply
  Re: Re:
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 I’m using YOUR OWN LOGIC, Slipp. Personally, I believe it is incumbent upon EVERY reader to think critically about whatever information is being served him or her, and that every reader with at least an average IQ is qualified to do so. YOU, however, blew off the advice given earlier in this thread on basis of no one here being a “qualified instructor” of some illustrious correspondence course. NOW you wanna give me some sh it about how your not having a degree shouldn’t be held against you? Could you be at least a LITTLE consistent?

Edited by: Sten Erin at: 7/3/02 6:48:26 pm
 
Jamison2
Registered User
Posts: 67
(7/3/02 19:07)
Reply  Re: Re:
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 As Frau Schmidt sez in "Cabaret,": Mine head is schpinning!
Signing off until Sunday; don't usually take holidays off, but when I realized I'd
worked on every July 4th since 1988, I figured it was time to stop and smell the
fireworks.
Hope to see MINORITY REPORT, THE BOURNE IDENTITY and WINDTALKERS. (hey,
it ain't all films noir and COLGATE COMEDY HOUR kinescopes). I get the feeling this
thread could be into its seventh page by the time I log-on again Sunday morning.
Slipp, I hope you've fortified the battlements and have donned your armor, cause
the Joe-Bots are just getting warmed up, it seems.
 
Sten Erin
Registered User
Posts: 25
(7/3/02 19:24)
Reply
  Re: Re:
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 I’m signing off too… the Taste of Chicago beckons from below my apartment window. The thought of all that beer, over-priced greasy food and a closely packed crowd of several million [with at least 60% of ‘em pickpockets] while it’s 102 in the shade is calling me. Don’t worry Slipp, I’ll be back with your grade soon enough.

Jamison, MINORITY REPORT ain’t a bad flick, and I’m not just saying that in support of Spielberg’s gratuitous use of an Ass Cam that often rest its eye on the glorious rear end of Tom Cruise. That’s GREAT, but it’s actually a pretty good movie even when Tom’s ass and Colin Farrell’s handsome face aren’t even on the screen. Have a great holiday weekend and enjoy your 4th.

 
Nosehonk
Registered User
Posts: 67
(7/3/02 19:28)
Reply
  Re: Re:
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 SLIPP, the essay WAS informative. (I actually read it when you first posted it but I was too tired to really give a critique) But writing ain't nothing if it doesn't flow. Some sections of your essay came off as though Angillus had written it. I don't know SLIPP. I might be alone in this, but when I right an essay, I don't sound a THING like I do when I'm posting. Because the voice, in most cases, is entirely different. With your paper, it sounded exactly like..Well, YOU. And I suppose you can ride that "unique style" cloud as long as you can, but I can tell you, after taking at least one writing class in each of the past 6 years, it float like a lead balloon with most instructors.

That's all the critique you get from me. Because it is evident, after reading a full day's worth of posts that you are the unholiest of hypocrites. You can't ask for criticism, get it, and scream "LIAR!" or "FOUL!" everytime. You see, I explained this same thing to my younger brother (who is exactly HALF YOUR AGE) not long ago, and he understood.

Sooner or later, you going to have to realize that the world is NOT against you, SLIPP. But rather, by your own actions, it's the other way around.
Sir Simon Milligan...Master of funk...AND EVIL.
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 56
(7/3/02 19:33)
Reply  Re: Re:
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 Hey.......
I have VERY FOND memories of "Taste of Chicago". Lived there from '83-87. Have a "OLD STYLE" & Brat for me & enjoy.
 
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 219
(7/3/02 20:05)
Reply  Re:
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 Didn't I say earlier in this thread that I will go through it again and make notes of all the criticism that seemed constructive- or was that someone who just looked, acted and sounded like me?

For all of you that meant any of your comments in your reviews as constructive rather than destructive, I thank you. I willdo my best to ferret out the constructive ones and take them to heart.

Like I said in my first response-post in this thread, I'm sorry if my tone/attitude seemed innapropriate. But you know, I've had to continually shove one long-range career idea after another aside. It gets discouraging and putsme in a bitter mood. Here I am, 28 years-old and I can't see being in a long-range career any time soon. I'm going to have to retire 60 years from now, from a job that just about anyone can do that MIGHT keep me in my one-room apartment.

Sigh.
 
metaldams1978
Registered User
Posts: 160
(7/3/02 20:20)
Reply  Bring back the porcupine!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 "It gets discouraging and putsme in a bitter mood. Here I am, 28 years-old and I can't see being in a long-range career any time soon. I'm going to have to retire 60 years from now, from a job that just about anyone can do that MIGHT keep me in my one-room apartment."

Will Benny Hinn PLEASE resurrect Larry Fine from the dead so we can get SLIPP a good violin player for his posts!?
 
 
 
Sten Erin
Registered User
Posts: 28
(7/4/02 4:02)
Reply
  Re: Bring back the porcupine!
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 Thanks, Weatherbee. I had an Old Style for just about every registered member of this forum, and that makes for a VERY enjoyable evening.

Well, here ya go, Slipp. Honest and detailed appraisal. My precious beer buzz & 40 mins of my life—all yours. You blow this off and I’ll fuckin’ KILL you. Admittedly my tone is snarky, but that’s my style. I’ve used it to critique everyone from myself to Daniel Defoe and can’t imagine why I should treat you differently.

In any case, I really must say, Slipp—you ARE improving. That brilliantly doctored up article from the other day had misspellings and capitalization errors within the fuckin’ TITLE. This time your first misspelling doesn’t come until the first sentence! Congratulations! Not making a mistake until you get to the body of the article is INDEED a step in the right direction. Keep up the good work, kid. Maybe one day, you won’t make a mistake until the SECOND paragraph!

Now maybe I’m just a sticker for this, but the 11 misspellings in this essay are an unpardonable sin. Slipp, you’re sitting at a computer, you’ve got access to a spell check—why, oh WHY don’t you ever use it? This is ridiculous, and just laziness in the extreme. These are things that you could correct with very little effort, but obviously you haven’t got the respect for your readers or yourself as a writer to do so. Even grade school children have the good sense to check their spelling before submitting an assignment. Why don’t you?

On the plus side, your essay IS informative. Then again, so are broadcasts on the Weather Channel, but who the hell wants a transcript? Your article is BORING, and that’s a major problem, because no matter HOW much information you’ve got to share with your audience, when they can’t get through that first paragraph without dozing off, you’ve lost them forever. This has absolutely nothing to do with your subject matter, and EVERYthing to do with your style. In his ASPECTS OF THE NOVEL, E. M Forster is an engaging enough writer to be able to spin off an entire chapter on the otherwise boring subject of “Pattern and Rhythm” in writing—but he never once loses you. So it’s not WHAT you write about, Slipp, it’s HOW you write it. It is obvious in every paragraph of ASPECTS that Forster is a genius who knows everything there is to know about reading and writing, yet his knowledge is never oppressive, and his tone never patronizing. With YOUR article, however, the reader gets the feeling that the author fancies himself a super fantastic writing and singing genius who feels he is graciously deigning to offer some advice to his less able audience. This becomes tiresome by the second paragraph. Work on having a little respect for your audience and perhaps we’ll respect you. Then again, with all those spelling errors, probably not.

Your next big problem is in the construction of the essay itself. Put mildly, it fuckin’ SUCKS. The first sentence of the article, which is supposed to pull your audience in, get ‘em excited about your topic and interested in what you have to say is, “I remember a Coca-Cola commercial from the early 1980's that might actualy [sic] have been brought back from the early '70's.” Even assuming that your prospective audience is a bunch of advertisement saturated idiots, why should they care about this, and why should they trust anything you have to say when you couldn’t even be bothered to verify the fuckin’ decade the commercial aired in? You spend the rest of the article patronizing your audience and attempting to set yourself up as Super Fantastic Singing and Writing Genius, but in your very first sentence you characterized yourself as a dolt who hasn’t even covered the most basic levels of research for the article. Somehow “I've spent a lot of my life dreaming, imagining, thinking about and planning music-related scenarios” and the fact that instead of getting a job, you’ve spent the 10 yrs you’ve been out of high school singing in the church choir because it gave you something to do on Wednesday nights, does not convince me that you “have a good enough handle on the subject to be able to successfully help people who don't think they can sing.” Your next 3 paragraphs—the main purpose of which are apparently to further prostrate yourself before Metaldams in a yet another desperate bid for his friendship—should be condensed into one. Then, the next 2 paragraphs after THAT should ALSO be condensed into one. Done correctly, this part of the essay wouldn’t be half bad. The “other things to consider” segment isn’t too badly laid out either, though it DOES sound like it’s cribbed from another source. Uber alles, this is not a bad part of the article, even DESPITE the condescending tone that permeates it, mostly because the paragraph on high expectations adds a humanistic touch. Good job.

The following paragraph and those noxious song lyrics, however, are so indescribably awful that I can hardly bring myself to discuss them. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? Earlier in this thread, you explained you were attempting to use the song lyrics to tie ideas presented in the first paragraph to those in your conclusion. Unfortunately, the only idea that gets driven home here is the one that says you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. By your admission, you haven’t got any knack for this sort of thing, you can’t play any instruments… you can’t even read music! That you would attempt to somehow marry a grammatically repugnant, condescendingly worded admission of ignorance with some sort of bizarre, wannabe altruistic wish to help the world sing simply boggles the mind, and actually kinda creeps me out. Gee, but you’re nuts.

On the whole, a disappointing effort from a literary standpoint, but substantially better than I expected.

Grade: C-…. you fuckin’ lunatic.

 
WrathOfSteve
Registered User
Posts: 57
(7/4/02 4:36)
Reply  Re: Bring back the porcupine!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 But Sten , what would you do for a Klondike bar?
 
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 234
(7/4/02 4:42)
Reply  Re: Bring back the porcupine!
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 All I'm gonna say is that I already explained a LONG TIME AGO that I don't HAVE spell check, oh spelling queen supreme.

Electroencephalocardiagraph!

SPELL THAT!
 
Nosehonk
Registered User
Posts: 71
(7/4/02 4:47)
Reply
  Re: Bring back the porcupine!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 LMAO!!! Steve I nearly posted that same exact thing...

SLIPP, how the FUC K do you not have a spell check?
Sir Simon Milligan...Master of funk...AND EVIL.
 
Sten Erin
Registered User
Posts: 33
(7/4/02 5:31)
Reply
  Re: Bring back the porcupine!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 That gets a rueful chuckle out of me, Steve.

Damn it to hell. Right before I die I’m sure I’ll think of this critique and curse myself for having wasted 40 precious minutes of life on a fuckin’ lunatic.

 
Sten Erin
Registered User
Posts: 34
(7/4/02 5:35)
Reply
  Re: Bring back the porcupine!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 And Slipp..... electroencephalocardiagraph is, uh, how do you say? Oh yes... she iz made up word. She cannot be found on ze google or in la dictionnaire. You are a fuckin' lunatic. 

Offline sgt ladylove

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Re: ISLIPP Klasseeek: "My S-A!"
« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2006, 11:41:39 PM »
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 101
(7/4/02 6:56)
Reply
  Re: Bring back the porcupine!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 I don't have to admit sh it, Eric. The essay SUCKED! It was poorly constructed, and boring. Hell I think everyone else, including your personal Public Enemy #1 Sick Dr Joe was too easy on you because they were thinking, "Wow, the dumbass actually wrote an essay". If I handed that piece of @#%$ in for a grade I would be embarrassed.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 58
(7/4/02 9:38)
Reply  Re: Bring back the porcupine!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Slipper;

FYI, when you post, on the bottom right hand side, next to "ADD RESPONSE" is "Check Spelling".
So........no more excuses

 
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 237
(7/4/02 9:49)
Reply  Re: Bring back the porcupine!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Jimnaseum-

Where do you get "admit" from? Maybe you ought to read things more closely.

And Stencil, concerning Electroencephalocardiograph- I was just testing you, you idiot!

I do defy you though, to spell spondylolesthesis.

Weatherstone- I remember from my days at Stoogeworld that ezboard spell checks don't work for me. So yes, I have an excuse.

Edited by: ISLIPP at: 7/4/02 9:52:40 am
 
 
 
sickdrjoe
Registered User
Posts: 366
(7/4/02 10:09)
Reply
  Re: Bring back the porcupine!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 The funniest/saddest wrinkle here is that me & Jim went out of our way to be kinder to Lad-A-Dog than he or his Show & Tell book report deserved... just to avoid the Hurt Feelings Opera we got stuck with ANYWAY!

Years from now, "Singing Lessons" will be spoken of in the same awed whisper reserved for "Matzo/Matza" and "Please Read: I INQUIRED About Help!" When this thread finally ends, print out a dozen copies for me, and charge it all to my FREE DRINK OF WATER card....
"We've been on the air a little over two months; and did you know not one person has written in to help us? NOT - ONE!!!"
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 104
(7/4/02 11:27)
Reply
  Re: Bring back the porcupine!
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 Slippicus Molesticus Maximus- and I quote:

"Jim- thanks for the one compliment, but "informative" wasn't the only thing I was going for. I sounded like I knew the subject matter backward and forward (except for the climate/high altitudes deal). You have to admit that. You have to admit that adding the jingle at the end was a nice touch. As my instructor would say, the last paragraph and the jingle was nice because they referred back to the beginning. Why not admit that?"

That's where I got "admit" from, you fuckin "poofter".
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 241
(7/4/02 11:41)
Reply  Re: Bring back the porcupine!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 What in the name of all that's holy is a "poofter"? It sounds like what a todler would call a magician who just vanished in a cloud of smoke. Or- the toddler could've been watching Nightcrawler from the X-Men in action.

And no, I didn't quote that with you. You play with yourself good enough witout me.
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 106
(7/4/02 11:50)
Reply
  Re: Bring back the porcupine!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Man, what a dork. "Poofter" is a colloquialism, most commonly heard in Austrailia or New Zealand, for homosexual.

Btw, do you actually laugh out loud when you come up with those lame cracks?
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 244
(7/4/02 12:11)
Reply  Re:
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 I wasn't trying to be funny, I was just insulting your intelligence- a rather easy target if I do say so myself (and I do).

And how can you call me a homoesxual when...

1. You secular idiots say there's nothing wrong with homosexuality

2. I've had several occassions of publicly drooling over Lorna Gray on Stooges boards

3. I've mentioned falling for that dental hygenist (Have you ever seen a MALE dental hygenist?)

THAT'S why your false acusations of me constantly putting my penis up little boys' butts holds no water. You completely make things up and attack me with what you made up. Now THAT, my fine feathered fool, is LAME!
 
sickdrjoe
Registered User
Posts: 370
(7/4/02 12:33)
Reply
  Re:
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 Wait, fellas....let me.

1. You're an idiot.

2. Your mother - looking at you and jumping to the obvious conclusion - wiped her ass after birthing you.

3. When you're finally accosted; thrown gagged & blindfolded into a mini-van; driven out to a secluded cabin where no one can hear you scream; get brutally, repeatedly sodomized by men wearing goat leggings who chant nonstop prayers to Ba'al and Asmodeus, before being beheaded by a sword with weird runic symbols carved into its hilt..... then & only then will you know & understand God's Miracle Plan For You.

On behalf of Bob and Marty.....GOD BLESS YOU!

"We've been on the air a little over two months; and did you know not one person has written in to help us? NOT - ONE!!!"

Edited by: sickdrjoe at: 7/4/02 12:36:40 pm
 
metaldams1978
Registered User
Posts: 177
(7/4/02 12:40)
Reply  RE
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 "You secular idiots"

Those three words speak so much about your lack of character it's not even funny.

 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 110
(7/4/02 13:01)
Reply
  Re: RE
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 I called you a poofter, or a fag, because I don't like you; and I knew it would get under your pseudo-Christian skin.

If we were to take IQ tests, I would be the one with a triple-digit score.

I don't give a fu ck about your lame romantic longings; other than the ones that are illegal.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 248
(7/4/02 13:30)
Reply  Re:
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 DrJoe- that's no way to talk about Jim.

Metal- that says nothing about my character. Nothing at all.

Jim- For the zillionth time, I HAVE no ilegal longings. Someday, I'm going to find you all, beat you to bloody pulps, drag you back to my place and give you a tour of every nook and cranny of the basement and the closets and PROVE there's no children or their bones hiding anywhere. However, after watching "Ripley's Believe it or Not", I have a great idea of what I can do with your bones when I REALLY get done with you. You're skull would make a greal candle holder. The rest of your bones wouldn make a good chair, once I put them together.
 
metaldams1978
Registered User
Posts: 179
(7/4/02 13:52)
Reply  Re
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 "I HAVE no ilegal longings."

Well I've got plenty. There have been plenty of times I've started talking to a hot girl only to find out she's 16 or 17. Of course, I'd never act on it. One night with a hot 16 year old isn't worth 20 years with Bubba.

Edited by: metaldams1978 at: 7/4/02 1:53:19 pm
 
sickdrjoe
Registered User
Posts: 372
(7/4/02 13:58)
Reply
  Re:
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Quote:
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 You're skull would make a greal candle holder. The rest of your bones wouldn make a good chair, once I put them together.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



With the practice you've had, I'm sure you've got a furniture showroom in your basement already. See semen first....then KILL...eh Eric?
"We've been on the air a little over two months; and did you know not one person has written in to help us? NOT - ONE!!!"

Edited by: sickdrjoe at: 7/4/02 2:00:10 pm
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 60
(7/4/02 14:13)
Reply  Re: Re:
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 Is it just me, or is anyone else AMAZED that Slip&Slide threw himself on the floor, like a 4 year old in a JC Penney's, when "nobody complimented" him on his "essay/JHS Book Report"? And by the way, Slipper it was FUN to watch you self destruct like that. Glad to see that your faith in the Lord has given you the "grace & maturity" to handle your critic's, as well as you handle that "lil' vienna sausage" between your legs.
Happy 4th to you & "Habitrail Herbie"

Edited by: Mr weatherbee at: 7/4/02 2:20:15 pm
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 111
(7/4/02 14:16)
Reply
  Re: Re:
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 Listen little man, if I were to ever go to Michigan and make my way to that town you live in which seems like something out of Deliverance; I would kick your boy loving ass in no time flat.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 112
(7/4/02 14:30)
Reply
  Re: Re:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Naw Weatherbee, I'm not amazed at all; I was expecting it. In his narrow little mind he thought that half-assed attempt at an essay was a masterpiece, and his widdle feelings got all hurt when he was given 3 C's and an F instead of straight A's.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 252
(7/4/02 17:50)
Reply  Guess what???
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 You're insults and threats mean nothing, little girls. They're shallow like you. Stop wasting your time.

I already explained my understandable reason behind reacting to the reviews like I did.
That should've been laid to rest RIGHT THERE. But no, you blithering idiots just love to keep singing the same songs, over and over and over. It's like you're singing "One Million Bottles of Beer on the Wall". Get a life.
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 66
(7/4/02 19:41)
Reply  Re: Guess what???
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Get a life".........This....from the guy you can constantly see at the top of the board, lurking as "GUEST"
 
sickdrjoe
Registered User
Posts: 385
(7/4/02 19:57)
Reply
  Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Hey, speaking of which, how the frig do ya log OFF this board once ya log ON?

i turned OFF my CPU for a few hours. When I turned her back on, I was STILL 'logged in'!
"We've been on the air a little over two months; and did you know not one person has written in to help us? NOT - ONE!!!"
 
Bruckman64
Registered User
Posts: 63
(7/5/02 1:24)
Reply  Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 I started reading others' critiques of the essay then decided I'd post my own, so I'm holding off reading any more.

Here's my 2 cents:

I think those who criticized the essay as lacking passion are most perceptive. It's not the subject matter but the perspective one brings to the subject that's important. Style, as Robert Frost stated, is the way the writer takes himself. And Slipp, you seem just not very interested in what you have to say, or not very interested in your audience. When Metaldams writes about Black Sabbath, I usually read what he has to say despite having no real interest in Sabbath and little familiarity with their music. It's the way his passion and interest IN their music comes across that makes his opinions worthwhile; he presents himself as both informed about the subject and charged with enthusiasm, and both carry over to the reader. I don't mean to club you, Slipp, with another's technique. You have to find your own voice, though. When you write, your prose comes across devoid of fire, of intensity, which is of primary importance in good prose [fiction or nonfiction]. And one ought to be able to write well in either mode. Hemingway started out as a journalist and his fictional style reflects the background of one trained to observe the telling detail. He improved upon this basic technique by plenty of reading, particularly in those writers accredited with the founding of the modern movement in prose [and with a fair bit of guidance from Gertrude Stein and Ezra Pound].

Like the others, I am put off by the spelling errors, which you ought to be able to catch either at the time of composition or, if they're typos, by a quick rereading. You lack the desire to revise and polish your prose, which is a bad sign. Your essay comes across as hastily written and not all that well thought out. It doesn't flow and its points are scattered like the pattern of an inaccurately-sighted shotgun. The use of quotation from a Coke commercial comes across as mere bathos. [It was a bona fide song before being adapted as a jingle--I recall singing it myself in grade school circa 1971. You could've researched this fact rather than assume weakly based on your memory--doing so gives a vague air to all that follows, and it's in your 1st paragraph, which needs to be concrete and definite].

Grade: C minus. [And yes, Slipp, I have been a writing instructor, for 3 years at 2 different universities, so that's one excuse which is inapplicable to my criticism].
 
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 257
(7/5/02 1:55)
Reply  Re:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Show passion? Okay. From now on, I'll say "I love this subject" every other line.

Seriously though, the passion was more the piece itself than actually IN the piece.

About style- yes, I have none, but every time I try to develop a style, my writing instructor treats it like an amateur mistake. Maybe someone should tell me how I CAN properly develop a style.
 
sickdrjoe
Registered User
Posts: 390
(7/5/02 2:07)
Reply  re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Gee, I thought I did....way back on page 1 of this Bataan Death March into Slippthink.

Edited by: sickdrjoe at: 7/5/02 2:08:58 am
 
ISLIPP
Registered User
Posts: 258
(7/5/02 2:45)
Reply  Re:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 BTW- for those of you who still question the legitimacy of my instructor, the writing school is registered with the Better Business Buearu (sp?) We Coxes are always VERY careful of who we do business with.
 
 
 
Bruckman64
Registered User
Posts: 66
(7/5/02 2:48)
Reply
  Re: re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 SDJ's right, Slipp; the advice he gave re style was dead-on accurate. When you start out as a writer your style is an amalgamation of all you've read. Read early Hemingway and you hear him approximating Sherwood Anderson and Gertrude Stein. You have to be prepared to spend plenty of time writing before you even begin to form your own distinctive voice. I wrote for 3 years before I hit what has become my mature manner and even then you have to be prepared to change as your ideas and perspective changes. I forget who posted an opinion you need to read more, Slipp, but you definitely do. You need to read plenty of first rate authors to see how each handled the problems of narrative and structure. Not just writers you want to emulate, but everyone. You ask which of us reads Shakespeare and Tolstoy. Well, I do, for one. My education didn't cease the day I walked out of grad school; if anything, I read more now than I did in 9 years of university, and with a fair range of diversity [if you ever come across those threads at SW where we occasionally post what we've been reading/watching/listening you'll see how eclectic my tastes are]. I read some of Shakespeare every year. I haven't read WAR AND PEACE but I've read plenty else by Tolstoy. Put yourself on a regimen. 50 pages of reading a day. That's very little--about an hour's worth. If you're filling up with nothing but Chuck Norris movies and 2nd rate TV schlock it's like eating nothing but junk food and never going to the gym, then wondering why you don't have an impressive physique. You can't get mad at US for the fact. We don't make your decisions. Your writing style tends toward blandness and vague reiterations of facts gleaned from other sources, and as I said, you don't provide a solid thesis and hew to its line; you're all over the target. If you were a shotgun I'd trade you in for lack of patterning or at least have you re-choked.
 
Bruckman64
Registered User
Posts: 68
(7/5/02 5:20)
Reply  Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Coupla other points:

1. Ditch the correspondence course. No worthwhile writing ever came out of it. You want feedback, hang out with writers, poets, artists. They're all nuts, but at least you'll be exposed to plenty of alternative viewpoints.

2. All good writing derives from FELT AND LIVED EXPERIENCE. This is just the starting point, not an end in itself. Thoreau's existence at Walden Pond was probably not much more isolated in its way as Slipp's is in the 21st century, but it's the degree to which Thoreau OBSERVED and lived his life that makes WALDEN important.

3. Never be too satisfied with what you've written. Learn from the masters. The biggest gains I ever made in weightlifting were when I worked out with actual competitive bodybuilders. Naturally I felt puny and weak compared to them, but they really pushed me to where I lost any self-consciousness about the disparity in strength. Same with writing.

4. Write every day. Keep a journal. Thoreau built up WALDEN out of daily incidents he recorded. Listen to others talking, not just yourself talking to yourself.

5. As Scott Fitzgerald said, "All good writing is swimming under water and holding your breath". Go for maximum concreteness and intensity in what you write.

6. The conclusion of what you write ought to "come right with a click like a closing box" as Yeats stated. I.e, it should sound inevitable.

Print this out and stick it up over your desk or take the consequences.
 
WrathOfSteve
Registered User
Posts: 60
(7/5/02 5:56)
Reply  Re: Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 7) Take the Charles Atlas course. It made a "man out of Mac" AND it's endorsed by the BBB.
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 124
(7/5/02 6:55)
Reply
  Re: Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 I've been advising him to 86 the correspondence course since I figured out that was his "qualified instructor". In other words, he won't listen and will continue to defend it.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
Bruckman64
Registered User
Posts: 70
(7/5/02 7:04)
Reply  Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 I don't expect him to take any of my advice, any more than he took any other advice I've proffered, but it's no skin off my nose. At least I don't have to worry about competing with Slipp for a Guggenheim grant in the near future.
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 72
(7/5/02 9:19)
Reply  Re: Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Bruckman & Shempisnumberone are correct.
As I pointed out earlier, your writing (in the essay) lacked real life experience and passion.Passion for a subject doesn't mean writing "I LOVE THIS(fill in the subject) every 2 lines.Usually a essay about musical range would be written by a professional working in the field,not someone in Community Choirs(of which, there is NOTHING WRONG. These type of activities are the backbone of Americana).
But once again, your defensive immaturity rears it's ugly head. I was being very sincere when I said your writing lacks passion, too. Do you think Shakespeare, Tolstoy, Edward Albee, David Mamet or even Neil Simon did'nt/don't receive critism? It's NOT the critism that hurts you, it's your "need to be liked" by us, and the inevitable rejection by us, that does.
Remember Slippage......"Every great accomplishment, was once impossible"
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 73
(7/5/02 9:21)
Reply  Re: Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Bruckman & Shempisnumberone are correct.
As I pointed out earlier, your writing (in the essay) lacked real life experience and passion.Passion for a subject doesn't mean writing "I LOVE THIS(fill in the subject) every 2 lines.Usually a essay about musical range would be written by a professional working in the field,not someone in Community Choirs(of which, there is NOTHING WRONG. These type of activities are the backbone of Americana).
But once again, your defensive immaturity rears it's ugly head. I was being very sincere when I said your writing lacks passion, too. Do you think Shakespeare, Tolstoy, Edward Albee, David Mamet or even Neil Simon did'nt/don't receive critism? It's NOT the critism that hurts you, it's your "need to be liked" by us, and the inevitable rejection by us, that does.
Remember Slippage......"Every great accomplishment, was once impossible"
 
Sten Erin
Registered User
Posts: 36
(7/5/02 9:39)
Reply
  Re: Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Aww, let’s cut all this talk. If we REALLY wanna help him, we’ll draw funds from the NFO treasury to rent a cheap ass school bus & descend upon Slipp’s hometown en masse, like some latter-day version of Ken Kesey’s Merry Pranksters. This is excellent advice, Bruck, but you’re talking to a fuckin’ LUNATIC. I mean, I can imagine what’s running through Slipp’s head as he reads this.

1. Artists, poets? Oh no, Bruckyball, they’re SINNERS, the whole lot o’ ‘em!

2. SEE, Dickdrjoe, SEE? Bruckman said Thoreau OBSERVED and wrote well. I observed LONE WOLF MCQUADE and now I can kick your ass a la Chuck Norris! Bruckman SAID so.

3. Keep a journal? But that’s not REAL writing.

4. “Scott Fitzgerald?” Sorry Bruck, everyone knows his first
name was Eff.

5. Could SOMEONE tell ME what ‘inevitable’ MEANS? And who’s this Yeats guy? If he’s so important, why haven’t I heard of him, hmmmmmmmm?

 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 74
(7/5/02 10:08)
Reply  Re: Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 YEATS.........a long winded, long dead poet (who unlike Our Miss Slipp, has only died once, and is yet to return)
and did'nt F. Scott Fitzgerald write the SAME STORY (with different "mustache's") 6-10 times ( a flawed hero/protagonist longing/pining for his "dream woman", who turns out to be less than a dream and ultimately destroy's him?)
And I haven't read this stuff since a college course on him.

See what "LIFE EXPERIENCE" can bring to a post, Slipperella?

 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 75
(7/5/02 10:20)
Reply  Re: Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Sorry Sten,
Inevitable(adj) "something one cannot avoid".............. Much like Slipp being arrested under "Megan's Law" For "child endangerment".
See, "Slipping In Action"; it's no crime to ask, if you don't know......OK "Refrigerator Box"Cox?

 
 
 
Sten Erin
Registered User
Posts: 40
(7/5/02 13:19)
Reply
  Re: Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 burlesque

Pronunciation: (")b&r-'lesk
Function: noun
Etymology: burlesque, adjective, comic, droll, from French, from Italian burlesco, from burla joke, from Spanish
Date: 1667

1 : a literary or dramatic work that seeks to ridicule by means of grotesque exaggeration or comic imitation
2 : mockery usually by caricature
3 : Sten Erin's preceding post in this thread
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 90
(7/5/02 15:43)
Reply  Re: Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Sarcasm adj) The ability to pointedly cut someone a new colon, perhaps inadvertently.


Sorry
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 128
(7/5/02 17:01)
Reply
  Re: Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Now now, no infighting; save all of your piss and vinegar for Namblaman and his "new boy toy".
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 97
(7/5/02 17:01)
Reply  Re: Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Time for a Coke......and a Smile...............commence Sh it ing
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 129
(7/5/02 17:07)
Reply
  Re: Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 I'm just waiting for the next essay on how he was so touched by the crying indian commercial, or the virtue of the old jingle "Winston's taste good, like a......cigarette should"; and the profound impact they have had on his life.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
sickdrjoe
Registered User
Posts: 409
(7/5/02 17:14)
Reply  ONE HUNDRED!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 How apropos that it be ME....and THIS thread. 

shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 133
(7/5/02 17:16)
Reply
  ONE HUNDRED AND ONE!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 You know, I was about the same thing.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
egghead41887
Registered User
Posts: 18
(7/6/02 1:32)
Reply  Re: ONE HUNDRED AND ONE!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 My god, just what we needed was an essay on how to sing and the diseases that are possible involving your throat and vocal chords. Its so lame. Even though I find diseases interesting to hear about, after the first paragraph it got quite dull and I was bored by the third paragraph. Even the disease section I did not find interest in. A very sloppy and poorly done essay.

BTW, notice the time that he posted this...it was 3:27:27 A.M! That is no time to write an essay. Most of my bad, unthoughtful posts have been done very late at night when I can't think straight. If I can't think straight while posting at around 1:30 A.M, Slipp definently cannot think straight 2 hours later into the night!
 
egghead41887
Registered User
Posts: 19
(7/6/02 1:48)
Reply  Re: ONE HUNDRED AND ONE!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Oops! Forgot my overall grade!

Overall: D

Pros: Solid introductory paragraph, one or two of the disease parts in the section were good, and apparently Slipp knows about the throat and vocal chords.

Cons: Many parts of this essay are quite boring, not enough excitement goes on in this essay. After the third paragraph, I forced myself to read the rest of it.


Tip for Slipp: For more success, put more excitement into your essays. But based on your reputation, you are not going to listen and continue with your ways.
 
 
 
Bruckman64
Registered User
Posts: 72
(7/6/02 2:13)
Reply
  Re:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm down with Sten's suggestion re renting a bus and driving to Michigan. I hereby volunteer myself as Neal Cassidy-driver/mechanic and even know where I can acquire a bus.
 
2cool247   
Registered User
Posts: 202
(7/6/02 7:14)
Reply
  Re:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My grade: H, for Homicide.

Slipp, write about stuff that don't put people to sleep,write about you're writting, or when you killed yourself, or when you got shot and killed, or you're mother telling us to leave you alone, or you're characters, or your dentist, or why you copyrighted your name, or why you have an obsession with velcro, and men, or why you don't get girls, or why you love Scooby-Doo. Something like that. NOBODY GIVES A CRAP ABOUT YOU'RE SINGING, SLIPP. YOU ASKED TO JOIN 24*7 IN YOU'RE FIRST EVER POST, I SAY HELL F'N NO, I WONT WANNA BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOU, LET ALONE ON THE SAME BUS. I'D JUMP OUT OF THE WINDOW BEFORE I LISTENED TO YOU SING, OR CRY ABOUT YOU'RE LIFE.
F.D.N.Y. Stand Back 200 Ft.
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 139
(7/6/02 7:53)
Reply
  Re:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've got dibs on Kesey.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
Jamison2
Registered User
Posts: 70
(7/7/02 11:19)
Reply  Re: My S-A!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Whew! That was a lotta catching up. And I got $50 toward the bus rental
fee whenever the time comes. Belleville, here we come!
BTW, I'd printed out the Slipp S-A and took it with me during my long
weekend. At one of my watering holes, I ran into an acquaintance who has been
singing semi-professionally for about 30 years, performing in Off-Broadway
shows and as a backup singer on commercials. So I had her read Slipp's
essay BEFORE she started drinking, so all her faculties would be intact.
She said that a coupla those ideas as far as voice preparation made sense and
she knew people who actually did them. On the other hand she said: "The kid
who wrote this needs to learn how to spell better and how to make his ideas
more specific, not so general." I told her the "kid" is supposed to be 28.
She HAD to have a drink, then. I also had to disabuse her of the notion that
it was meant as satire...
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 120
(7/9/02 10:47)
Reply  Re: My S-A!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Just wanted to revive this thread. Remember folks, THIS is the
REAL SLIPP. Needy, groveling, temper tantrum throwing. Not the Bullsh it MTV Gameshow host, he's now pretending to be.

You know nothing about music, and even less about life.
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 176
(7/9/02 20:18)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Just wanted to let guys know that I sent a copy of this essay to a friend of mine on AOL who has been a teacher and writer for longer than she'd care to remember. I was just going to send her review to Slipp, but I shall post it here for all to see.
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
shempisnumberone   
Registered User
Posts: 179
(7/9/02 21:13)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Here is the jist of the IM convo I just had with my teacher friend...as if Slipp needs any more proof that this essay sucked:

On a grade: "D ......in kindness...."

On reading/grading the essay: "I do not think I can go on, ....it is difficult to grade over the net..I would either have to change everything....or continue highlighting all the parts that are improperly phrased, misspelled, wrong tenses...wrong pronoun usage...etc., etc., etc.... truly badly written...there are so many things I have marked that I am ashamed for him!"

On Slipp's claim that the essay would knock our socks off:
"tell him..indeed..it left me sockless"

When reminded that this is a 29 year old man who says writing is his life: "tell him to get a new life...nicely"
"They misunderestimated me."- President Dubya
 
sickdrjoe
Registered User
Posts: 474
(7/9/02 21:40)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 OWW!!

That's gotta hurt!
"We've been on the air a little over two months; and did you know not one person has written in to help us? NOT - ONE!!!"
 
King Scooby Doo   
Registered User
Posts: 1
(7/11/02 13:13)
Reply
  Re:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
www.geocities.com/steven_pigeon/Butters.wav
 

Edited by: King Scooby Doo at: 6/19/05 16:54
 
sickdrjoe
Registered User
Posts: 532
(7/11/02 17:57)
Reply
  Re: My S-A!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Best new poster, hands down.

LISTEN to His Majesty, Slipp! Even mystery-solving talking animals know you suck! And the ones who don't fight crime/can't talk...even they look at you funny...like they know....
"We've been on the air a little over two months; and did you know not one person has written in to help us? NOT - ONE!!!"
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 168
(7/11/02 18:55)
Reply  Re: My S-A!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Like a fine wine........this thread keeps getting better with time
 
BrettJRob
Registered User
Posts: 1
(7/11/02 22:51)
Reply  Huh?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 I don't know what the hell has gone on here since I last looked at this board (maybe a week after it "opened"), but I just decided to check out the latest threads. So I see one of those infamous threads with six and seven PAGES of posts... yep, sure enough, ISLIPP is behind it. Surprise. I'll never understand why you are STILL posting at this board, SLIPP. It's been what, a year, since you last had an ounce of respect from most members? And look where you are now -- you've spend tireless HOURS... let me restate, DAYS worth of time -- posting arguments against members who never post on the Stooge board you are allowed on! Huh? I mean yeah if you don't have a job you are prone to wasting time... but this has to take the cake for the biggest waste of time I've ever seen.

The essay? I don't know why you have an essay that everyone is critiquing (probably started in some thread 2 weeks old), but it is 'okay' I guess. I won't give it a grade, but you definitely could have taken the time to fix typos and spelling/grammar errors -- especially considering this thing is being presented to the NFO -- those evil guys you've spend a whole freaking year trying to convince of your validity.

Oh yeah, I read enough at SW to figure out that you probably wasted an extra 2 hours (but in comparison, what the hell does it matter?) 'doctoring up' a little article about your death. "It's not as stupid as it may sound," right? That is just plain evil, and you claiming to be a devout Christian and writing that article is so bad it's not funny. All the claims that you would never do anything like that suicide note again...

Of all the stupid things I've done in my life, I would have to rank supporting you in some cyber-battle that consumes your life at age 28 as one of the worst -- er, the absolute worst. I don't care what you've been through in your childhood, etc.; this kind of crap going on for this long is just incredible. If I learned anything I didn't know about you before I found out about the 'article' it's that your sermons that have been posted in the past ('you shouldn't have the eye for ANYONE but your spouce -- and that goes for everyone' [posted not long after proposing a 'hottest actress' tourney]) are laughable and even less worthy of consuming a kilobyte of cyberspace than I thought.
 
Mr weatherbee
Registered User
Posts: 176
(7/11/02 23:15)
Reply  Re: Huh?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Bravo & Touche.
 
metaldams1978
Registered User
Posts: 261
(7/11/02 23:43)
Reply  RE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Very nicely worded, Brett.


 
sickdrjoe
Registered User
Posts: 549
(7/11/02 23:57)
Reply
  Re: RE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Holy pastafazool!

Look Slipp....you just lost BJR...your "little one"!

It's ALL over now......there's not ONE C3/SW regular, semi-regular or one-time poster left who DOESN'T think you're a disgraceful idiot and total failure. NONE!! A CLEAN SWEEP!

Time to sneak into the garage, close the door behind you and start your Dad's car. Suck gas and die in your own private Auschwitz, babe. Nobody's gonna miss you - f u c k, most of us never noticed you in the first place....
"We've been on the air a little over two months; and did you know not one person has written in to help us? NOT - ONE!!!"
 
Bruckman64
Registered User
Posts: 84
(7/12/02 5:17)
Reply  Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Just had to reread the essay. I stand by my earlier critique but I did find the brief paragraph on how illness may affect one's voice interesting--too bad the entire essay didn't address that topic. Considering that I used to write 1000-word essays in university after an evening of hockey and postgame talk until 11 PM and still never pulled anythingless'n an A minus, I can't up the grade for this which took [allegedly] a week.

But "Please Read-I Inquired About Help" or "As the Tables Turned" or The Tragedy of Pinconning Michigan--those had flashes of real writing. When Slipp's writing about ENDING IT ALL and begging for sympathy he's TRULY inspired in a demented sort of way--much more so than when writing about singing in the choir.

Slipp, you've truly FOUND YOUR NICHE MARKET--a trailer-park, corn-dog-and-Royal Crown Cola, Walmart economy size Sylvia Plath. Velicimo!



Slipp, man, you've FOUND YOUR NICHE MARKET!
 
Shemp Shady
Registered User
Posts: 45
(7/12/02 17:54)
Reply  Re: Re
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Who is 'Pinecone Man'!?

SLIPP is! *:{%}>< 

BrettJRob
Registered User
Posts: 9
(7/16/02 17:00)
Reply  Re:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Put mildly, it fuckin’ SUCKS."

Great line, Sten. I had to double check to verify you were talking about the essay and not the "author" though...

Edited by: BrettJRob at: 7/16/02 5:07:01 pm
 
sickdrjoe
Registered User
Posts: 968
(9/21/02 20:18)
Reply
  Re:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Mr DiMello! SAAAAVE me! Make the bad posts go a-waaaay!"


Hi, Slipp!
"I couldn't even TALK to the demon!...I couldn't even OPEN MY MOUTH!!!"
 





That's all, folks!  :D

Offline shemps#1

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Re: ISLIPP Klasseeek: "My S-A!"
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2006, 12:15:41 AM »
I still say that fucking essay is an F.
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish." - Unknown

Offline sgt ladylove

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Re: ISLIPP Klasseeek: "My S-A!"
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2006, 05:21:33 AM »
I have to admit that THIS is my all-time favorite post.  I loved it so much that I had it bookmarked for YEARS.  I invited my husband to sit down and read it once, to which he reluctantly obliged.  He started off looking at it strangely, but by the second page he started to chuckle.  By the third he had his glasses off wiping the tears off of them.  He's actually told some of his buddies about that post, stooge fans or not.

I think what stands out the most for me is when Sten Erin comes back from the Taste of Chicago, a little tipsy, to give her critique.  " Well, here ya go, Slipp. Honest and detailed appraisal. My precious beer buzz & 40 mins of my life—all yours. You blow this off and I’ll fuckin’ KILL you."   She gives a great appraisal and really starts building up steam.  "Your next big problem is in the construction of the essay itself. Put mildly, it fuckin’ SUCKS."  Other constructive criticism:

"The following paragraph and those noxious song lyrics, however, are so indescribably awful that I can hardly bring myself to discuss them. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?"

" That you would attempt to somehow marry a grammatically repugnant, condescendingly worded admission of ignorance with some sort of bizarre, wannabe altruistic wish to help the world sing simply boggles the mind, and actually kinda creeps me out. Gee, but you’re nuts."

And then, finally, the much-longed-for grade.  "On the whole, a disappointing effort from a literary standpoint, but substantially better than I expected.

Grade: C-…. you fuckin’ lunatic."